Why Me?

by John Aquila 69 Replies latest jw experiences

  • John Aquila
    John Aquila
    Driving Force
    When I first became a witness I use to think, "Why do I have the privilege of knowing the truth", now I think, "Why do I have the privilege to know TTATT".
    Oh shit, I went in a complete circle, and it took me nearly thirty years to do so.

    It better not be a half circle, I don't think I can take any more awakings. Plus I don't have another 30 years.

  • Ucantnome

    Dexter makes you think. He was a psychopath i believe.

  • Theburstbubble

    I think unfortunately there won't be many who are right in the hub of the congregation who will ever 'wake up' so to speak. This is because they are living, breathing and soaking up everything the WT has to offer and they truly believe it and want to believe it too. When i was in the centre of the congregation i fully believed it and was so thankful to be in the truth. I'd look at people in the world and feel sorry for them. Or I'd think that those who left knew it was the truth deep down.

    Once i started to drift, then i began thinking for myself and starting questioning things. However, if i hadn't starting drifting i would never have done that and would still be believing every word and in that brainwashed state of mind. I've only recently decided to leave and i look at my friends who are still witnesses and i can't believe they are so taken in by it all. But then I've realised it takes time and I used to be in the mindless state that they are now. Unfortunately you can't make them wake up either as it just sets off the whole 'apostate' alarm bells. I sent a friend a link about the Australian royal commission and she just ignored it completely. I do find that crazy that people can completely switch off from any reasoning or facts.

  • Finkelstein

    I remember watching a husband and wife launch into an answer after I'd posed a question whilst studying - I retorted that they sounded like IBM salesmen.

    An example of mental indoctrination, when a question is posed and a prearranged following answer is offered along with the question. The GB provides with both and that is the key factor to why and how people get brainwashed in this cult, its also the cause of unsurmountable mental instability, leading to cognitive dissonance.

    There is also fear imposed and implied to accept their teachings as its known.

  • Diogenesister

    Hey guys, loving the fascinating posts, esp. goneforgood & Magnum

    Just a thought.....there's always the fact we people just love being right ............which is why we like hanging out with people who keep tellin'us we are!

  • FayeDunaway

    I would venture to guess that most of us here who have woken up have a certain ingrained characteristic about us. Curiousity. We wonder about things. We don't simply swallow down everything we're told, we ask questions. We perhaps have always asked questions. Our 'Why?' stage when we were three years old was more prolonged than most.

    some of us are still in that stage: 'Why me?'

  • Bonsai

    Circumstances also play a large role in not only awakening, but taking it a step further and separating oneself from the high control group. Living in a foreign country gave me the chance to look at things from an outside perspective. Having some free time (not much to do socially out here) gave me a chance to do research.

    Knowing that the majority of my family would still have a relationship with me even if I left gave me the courage to pursue my questions and doubts and act on them.

    Many are so busy on the organizational hampster wheel that they don't have time to reflect on what they truly feel. Others are impossibly entangled socially with their family and their employment all being in the witness social structure.

  • StrongHaiku

    Unfortunately my story is not as noble as most. I was disfellowshipped when I was 24 for having a one night relationship with a worldly woman. I was an MS. My mother was anointed. And, at the time I was close to becoming an elder.

    It wasn't TTATT that woke me up. It was the fact that I felt so guilty for having sinned that I felt unworthy of forgiveness. I believed for years after I deserved to die at Armageddon. So I stayed out and did not try to get reinstated. Instead I spent my time working hard and learning. And over the years I came to realize the JWs for what they are - i.e. yet another religion that claims to have truth. A dime a dozen...

    But over the years things changed. I learned more. I thought more. Being disfellowshipped was the most painful thing that has ever happened to me. And I lost my family and friends. But, if I hadn't been disfellowshipped perhaps I would still be in or lamenting years of wasted time.

    I admire those who walk out on principle. I don't have such honor. I got kicked out and never looked back.

  • Finkelstein

    The real question that presents itself is why does anybody gets entrapped into the workings of this religious publishing house ?

    Those answers might come up as one of ignorance, insecurities, fear or need for direction from a recognized higher force.

  • Magnum
    StrongHaiku, I appreciate your honesty.

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