When I was an elder in the 80s, a 16 year old baptized JW girl had confessed that at school during lunch a boy kissed her and touched her privates over her dress. It was brief and no clothes were removed. The three elders that met with her judicially, talked to her for three hours. What could these elders possibly talk to this sixteen year old girl for three hours???
This girl came to my house at about 11 pm crying hysterically but couldn’t talk. I knew she met with the elders so I imagined she had been disfellowshipped. After about 30 minutes of crying she got her composure and told me something had happened at the Kingdom Hall with the three elders. I asked her what happened----- still thinking it was her being disfellowshipped. She said she didn’t want to talk about it tonight but she needed to do a few things first and then she would come and tell me what happened. She said she would come during the weekend and tell me what happened, which was still several days away.
I didn’t think much about it. At the Thursday meeting the elders were informed that she was disfellowshipped and they were going to make the announcement that night, so I thought that’s what the girl was crying about. They announced she was disfellowshipped that Thursday night.
Lately I’ve wondered why they didn’t give her the time or right to appeal.
On Friday morning I got a call and was told this young girl was in a car accident. I went to the hospital and she was on life support. The doctor told the parents that she was brain dead. After a few days the parents choose to disconnect the machines and she died.
The despair and anguish the parents were going through is beyond describing.
The Circuit Overseer was in town and we told him of the situation and He called the Society and then told us that “Mother” said we were not allowed to conduct the funeral in the Kingdom Hall or anywhere else with the threat of removing us and being dealt with judicially if we disobeyed. I had just been appointed a few weeks as an elder. He also told us that the Book study conductors needed to remind the publishers that in order to please Jehovah they should not attend the funeral wherever it is held. He said a couple of elders needed to go tell the parents. I refused to go.
The parents were without words.
When the non-JW relatives found out the parents were refused a funeral talk, they went berserk. For the non-JW relatives it was no problem, the Catholics said the Priest would gladly do the funeral, the Agnostic said he would give the talk, others suggested several options.
The parents then went to the elders to tell them one of the relatives was going to give the funeral talk. The elders told the Circuit Overseer who was visiting and He called the Society. The response from the Society was if the parents attended, they needed to be dealt with judicially. So the parents were told and it was another blow to them.
The parents went and told the relatives they couldn’t allow it. The relatives lost it. From that day, that year, the relatives never talked to the parents again, until recently some started talking to the wife. It’s been about thirty one years since it happened.
The elders that were in that judicial committee were in their fifties at that time. I heard two were dead and one is not serving as an elder and is ready to head on out also. There are a lot of stories about those elders, disgusting talk, but it’s just talk and I don’t want to repeat what I have no proof of. Plus the one that is alive is held in high esteem by many JWs.
The young girl had an 18 year old JW brother. When the brother saw how the Organization treated his parents and how they acted towards his 16 year old little sister, he dissociated himself. For 30 some years his father has refused to talk to him. But his mother started talking to him a few years ago.
The mother who is about 79 years old comes once a year to talk to my mom about the situation. She has been mad for all these years regarding how they treated her and her daughter and the fact that it has cost her to lose the only other son she had. She still vents after all these years.
Last year when I woke up, I asked my mom if the Boy who is DA is a drug addict? My mom said no. Is he a drunk? My mom said no. Is he is a womanizer? My mom said no.
My mom said that He has been married about 30 years to the same woman; they have several good kids, and has provide very well for his family.
I told my mom, do you think this man deserves to be killed by Jehovah because he left the organization because of the way they treated his parents and sisters? My mom right away saw the logic and said, NO!
Do you think Jehovah is happy that the mother never gets to see her only son, and her grandkids just because this man refuses to come to some meetings? Mom says, that’s kind of ridiculous isn’t it?
I told her, “How sad that the mother is losing out not just on being with her firstborn son, but also with her grandkids. She is 79 years old and has missed her firstborn’s son’s wedding, the birth of each grandkid, holding them in her arms, watching them grow up. Not hearing the words, “We Love You Grandma” and losing out on her son hugging her and saying, “I Love You Mom.”
My mom started getting teary eyed.
I said, “Mom, the accident took away her daughter, but the Organization has taken away her firstborn son and grandchildren. Which one caused more evil, the accident or the organization’s rules?
The son is not an adulterer, he is not a drunk, not a fornicator, not a murderer, what more can a mother want from her children? What more can God want?
A couple of months ago I’m finding out the mother is visiting her son and grandkids every so often. The husband is and elder but he can’t stop her. The mother is now sharing stories about her grandkids with my mom.
Every time the mom sees me she makes it a point to say hi and smile at me. Even with my beard and even though she is aware I don’t go to meetings anymore she always waves and smiles.
That little 16 year old girl would almost be about 48 years old if she was alive.