Hebrew Was The First Language

by Bloody Hotdogs! 34 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • Saintbertholdt

    So during the transition from English to Hebrew after Armageddon the language would therefore logically be Yiddish. A conversation would go something like this:

    Sister: Shalom brother Knorst. How's your balabusta and your bubba?

    Brother Knorst: Shalom sister Geisel. You know, she's just an old kvetch. Bubba is still a bit loch in kop, but with the Almighty's help she'll be clear as a bell any day now. Heard your shaygets has been appointed to be an ms. Mazel Tov! He should marry a nice shayner... Have you picked a new house yet or are you still looking for one without dead schmucks in it? The goyim really shtunk up the place. Seven years of this... oy!

    Sister Geisel: Ja ja, sometimes I think the whole thing is just a shaynem dank dir im pupik situation. But don't tell the PO I said so. He's a real alter kaker sometimes.

    Knorst: Oh and a tokhis leker. Always buttering up to the great men of old.... Well I'm off to temple. Shalom aleichem sister.

    Geisel : Aleichem shalom brother. (under her breath)...Scmuck!

    Knorst: (under his breath)...Gornisht helfn.

  • fukitol

    Did they also mention how Jehovah screwed up the original language at the tower of Babel, thus ruining man's unity and creating untold confusion, division, and nationalism? This singular act of god, which JWs take literally, was arguably responsible for most war, division and suffering in history.

    And now Jehovah is only going to restore the original language and mankinds unity after slaughtering 99% of the human race at Armageddon that he originally screwed up. Wtf?

  • The Marvster
    The Marvster

    God likely did so in an ancient form of Hebrew.

    "Likely" = We have no F***ing clue what language was used,

    let's just make shit up as we speculate...

  • The Marvster
    The Marvster

    I guess the borg's policy of 'if anybody disagrees with the GB (aka G.O.D) disfellowship them immediately' helps to ensure that ANYTHING that is written in the botchtower is always believed and never challenged...

    Credulity or total shunning by everyone in your life; take your pick.

  • stuckinarut2

    But those who spoke Hebrew KILLED Jesus right??

    So by that reasoning, the language is tainted.....

  • sparrowdown

    Why coudn't they have communicated with God telepathically?


    Maybe Adam spoke Jive??


  • dropoffyourkeylee
    This belief about Hebrew was taught back in the sixties, then they went to the interpretation that the 'pure language' was truth, and not a literal language. Now it looks like they've done another flip-flop.
  • OnTheWayOut
    They are kind of stuck with saying Hebrew was the first language. If they say Adam lived 6000+ years ago and Moses wrote the beginnings of the Bible in Hebrew 3500+ years ago, but had some writings from others available to him from previously (I believe they still say that) then that doesn't give enough time for developing Hebrew later than the beginning and establishing it as a written language later.
  • kaik
    WT claims the Hebrew language for Adam and Eve for decades. I remember these claims 30 years ago when in the 1980's there was an article in WT where Adam named animals in the Hebrew language. As other had said, WT debated it for at least half-century.

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