So, hubby gets contacted today by one of the elders saying 2 of them want to pay us a visit and asks him when we are available. We both had the heart drop feeling for a few minutes lol. We got over it. But he promptly, and politely, informed them that we are very busy but he will let them know when we are free. He said there is no way they will get a meeting out of us and we will just keep with different variations of the busy story as long as we have to, we don't have to tell them anything. I love him, he is the best lol! It's only been a month, so we were a little surprised at how soon they wanted to meet with us. Oh and how about this - they addressed me by the totally wrong name!! Yeah, you have no idea what my name is, but by all means, come on over and sit on my couch and be nosy and tell us we are spiritually weak and you want to help us get back on track. Get out of here!
Uh-oh, the elders want to pay us a visit!!
Hell I must be one of the fortunate ones. I walked after been in it for decades. Not a single elders visit nothing. Oh well thanks guys.
True story. I made a deal with an elder that said something stupid to me that would be horribly embarrassing to reveal to his fellow elders. Then he had the nerve to slander me. So I called me, went off, and made him a deal.
You make sure the elders don't come to my house......and I won't talk to them about what you told me.
Deal. Done. Nobody comes by. We may even be on DNC.
Problemaddict2 love it!
You need to push aside the FEAR - it has dominated your lives.
My "deal" with them was:
You can come for a Beer and Barbecue but not a Tribunal - They have never been and all contact with the entire congregation has been severed by word of mouth it would seem [the grape-vine].
Free at Last !
Simply say to them , I want two of my friends (don`t identify anybody ) to be present , and I would also wan`t to record this visit for future reference for posterity.
And don`t be swayed by any counter argument`s / reasoning`s , they come up with .
Stick to your guns and you wont be bothered by them again.
Hey BeautifulMind, you're not alone!
Kill their attempts stone dead - but not with "excuses", because they will see through them and try to brow-beat you into agreeing to their demands.
Be resolute with these little Napoleons - you owe them no explanations and no information! Remember this.
You have a P.M.
I would advise against allowing them the "foot in the door" to what could lead to a JC process. This is a man-made concept and as the ARC has shown up, it is riddled with flaws -
The primary goal of any True Shepherd would be to impart love - and we know that this is not about that !
Marvin Shilmer's blog pages has an excellent check-list of what to do in prepping for a JC but the points could be used even in such a "visitation" as you can at least pave the way for any further process that may occur - eg taping the events etc having a third party present [ you don't have to tell them that this will be the case] Don't give too much info. Don't play your whole hand !
The elders have no authority over you...only that which you allow. Your hubby did right in telling them that things will be on your terms not theirs.
Everyone needs to get past the fear of these humans who have no power of you, no super powers and they're ignorant which in my eyes makes you better than them. Why not just tell them "We're fine. We don't need help or visits but thanks for the offer" - period. The word NO conveyed correctly can be very powerful and convincing.