This is my story

by Dolphin57 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dolphin57

    First off, hi everyone! Someone every special to me referred me to this site. Thank you! I dont really know where to start so I will just go for it.

    My name is Laura and I am 20. I am married with no children (yet) I want to share my story.

    I dont really know where to start so I will just go for it. My mother learned of the truth when I was about 6 years old. My father never accepted the faith but he never stopped my sister, mother and I from going. Up until then we celebrated holidays and birthdays and all of that. We moved to Florida about that time from up north. We started going to a congregation and met a lot of friends. It was great. We were new and there was this group of smiling happy wonderful people who invited you to places. We eventually came to be really close to a couple of families who were all related.

    From then on, we were all very much into each others lives. We did everything as if we all were as one family. Babysitting, cruises, dinners, weekend, football games - we all did it together. We celebrated anniversarys, weddings, parties and were very much into being Witnesses. When I was about 14, I started dating one of the sons of the family that I was close to. He was older than me and it didn't look too good. We got our share of grief over it. He was a good guy, very much into the faith.

    My younger sister stopped coming to the meetings about this time, saying it wasnt for her. I admit that I never really got as into it as most. I went to meetings and field service. The guy I was dating was really the one who kept me going. We dated for about 4 years. We talked of marriage but it was never official. In this time, I met a man named Mike. He was in the truth, having just moved to town with his family (also Witnesses). I became best friend with his sister and they joined our teenage hang out group. We did a lot as a group. I had feelings for him (and him for me) since they day we met. I was already dating my boyfriend (we will call him Matt) and my families and the congregation and the whole world was convinced that we would marry and that was that. I really didnt question it. I kept my feelings for Mike inside and squashed them, concentrating only on Matt. I was faithful to him.

    When I was about 16 or 17, Mike stopped coming to meetings. He moved out of his house but I still kept in touch with him. He was one of my best friends. When I was 18, something inside me had realized that I wasnt in love with Matt anymore. We had been together so long. Not the most wonderful of relationships but it was stable and he loved me. But I just realized that I couldnt spend my life with him. I would be unhappy so I broke up with him. When I did that, I realized something.

    I had been spending time with Mike and I couldnt hide my feelings anymore. Mike had tried to get together with me the whole time I was with Matt. I had resisted. But I couldnt anymore. I told him that I wanted to be with him and he told me he wanted to be with me. We started dating. We were in heaven. He asked me to marry him a week after we started dating in a very romantic and wonderful way. During my engagement, I went to some meetings. I was talked to about my decisions and told I was making a big mistake. Matt was already seeing someone new and his family was very concerned about me. I call them his family but I had grown up with them too. There was even an instance where an elders wife was gossiping about my fiancee, talking about things only her husband had heard in the privacy of an elders meeting, which the gossip was totally wrong.

    Coming to the meetings felt like torture. I knew they were talking about me. And having to face Matt and his family was awful. I did something to make myself happy and no one seemed to care about that. Only that I was dating a bad guy who was worldly and it was wrong.

    I was in love. The knock you out of your shoes, singing in the rain, skipping around the streets kind of love. I had a prince charming and I felt like a princess. We were married 3 months after the engagement on a balcony overlooking the river, it was magical. None of Matts family came to the wedding, naturally, including his sister with whom I was inseperable. (she now regrets it and has left the truth, we talk everyday) Matt had a new love, and was on the road to marriage. I was honestly happy for him. My mom and I are close. She slowed down going to meetings as did I. I stopped going about 4 months into my marriage. I will admit, it took about a year of marriage to work out all the kinks. I am more in love with Mike then ever was. We are doing great. I dont go to meetings at all anymore, niether does my mother, Mike, best friend (Matts sister), and another friend who was raised in the truth. We often sit around and muse on how peoples jaw would drop if we all walked into a meeting together. The rebels. Anyway. I am happy. When I went to meetings, I felt judged. The gossip was uncontrollable and the information sad and depressing. I am sucessful now. Very much in love with life. I have friends who have stuck by my side through it all and I love them. I am married to a wonderful man.

    I was turned away from. Those scars havent completely healed. I just wanted to let you all out there know that there is an end to the pain of leaving or being shunned. The people in my life who I thought would be there forever, simply arent. I am here to make new friends and learn and try to help others. Cant wait to hear from you all. *hugs*

    Edited by - Dolphin57 on 8 January 2003 17:49:28

  • email

    Welcome Laurita!!!!

    I am sooooo happy to see people that I used to know as JWs are now here!!

    You'll find that you're not alone... and that there are people here that have gone thru similar experiences... I enjoyed your post.

    Enjoy your stay and Keep posting!

    Your friend,



    Edited by - email on 8 January 2003 17:56:13

  • Buster

    Nice story! Welcome!

  • cruzanheart

    Welcome, Laura! Your story was BEAUTIFUL and made my day. I'm so glad you're happy!


  • ApagaLaLuz

    Yeah Laura!!! Finally some positive news, and a great story! I don't know you, but I am so very happy for you. Your engagement story sounds very similar to my own. I long to have a relationship like you do now. Who doesn't love "singing int he rain." (though don't tell anyone I told you that) :)

    Welcome. I can't wait to hear more from you.

  • musky

    welcome Laura

  • onacruse

    Laura, welcome indeed!

    I was going to post a welcome to you on e-mail's thread, but then I saw you started you own! I haven't been around the "Internet block" all that much, but I have been around the "people block" a couple of times, and in my opinion you won't find a better bunch of folks than here.

    Welcome, and enjoy.


  • Jesika

    What a nice story!!!!!!!!

    Welcome and I am looking forward to hearing more from you.


  • jurs




  • D8TA
    D8TA's Bettie Page!

    We demand your secret to eternal youth, in which we hope a reply in forthcoming posts.

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