How do I tell my family I'm no longer a JW? (page 2)

caligirl

I never outright told my parents anything regarding my position. I think they know, since they once stopped by my house and I forgot that I had a few decorations out, and have had it confirmed since my son is also vocal about his birthday or christmas gifts. They never say anything to me about it, and have never berated my son for saying anything about it or tried to tell him that it is wrong. I do wish I could have been a fly on the wall when my son told them at dinner when he was visiting them one evening that he had "seen Santa and he's real!" That little tidbit came courtesy of my brother, who was there. I decided a long time ago that it is my decision to raise my child as I see fit and that I would not try to prevent my son from talking about things that are important to him.

It has been a long time since you went to meetings, your parents probably already at least suspect. Unless you feel a burning need to test the waters, I would say just let it go and live your life. If they are curious because of something your son says, they will ask or maybe you will be lucky like I am and they will just play the don't ask, don't tell game and you can live in peace without the confrontation.

Elsewhere

They never say anything to me about it, and have never berated my son for saying anything about it or tried to tell him that it is wrong

I think you have something good going on here. I also like Carmel's advice.

Just don't make any sudden movements... JW's tend to pounce when ya do that.

happyout

Hi, Yellowlab,

It's hard to decide what to tell and not tell, but the fact is, you are an adult, and since it's obvious your "family" isn't close enough to you to know your daily moves, perhaps it won't be as difficult as you think. They probably suspect, and I would really leave it to them to ask. Depending on how they approach you, you could say you don't feel comfortable discussing religion, or you could just say you love God, and are trying to please him and only him. Whatever you decide, please know that you have a ton of support here, and be grateful that you are seeing with clear eyes. Good luck and much love.

Happy (of the don't ask, don't tell class)

dedalus

LOL @ Six!

Dedalus

SwordOfJah

I say don't be a coward and disassociate yourself. Quit deceaving your JW family. Get on with your life and let them go on with theirs, of course theirs will be much long that yours. All those living double lives are just kidding themselves. Gal. 6:7 tells you why.

Gerard

Just tell them: I claim my freedom"

ashitaka

SOJ-Go bowl your head.

Y-I think you should just let them draw their own conclusions and not make an issue of the JWs. Just be there for your family, and show love to them. That's the only real way to keep them.....if you want to.

ash

LoneWolf

This is one of those circumstances where there are few pat answers, except perhaps this one: Your own circumstances should dictate how to handle it. Each case should have an answer tailor made for that case.

For instance, do you still have faith and love in Jehovah? Then explain quietly that due to that love, you cannot in good conscience associate with an organization that defiles His name in the manner that they have. Then drop it. Allowing them to take the initiative in pursuing the question further will forestall their getting the idea that you are trying to stumble them. That also leaves you the moral highground.

Prepare some examples of what you are referring to, but don't volunteer them. Wait for them to ask and then quietly quote facts and figures. DON'T overfeed them.

Show no shame or timidity. You have made the decision on a moral basis, so act like it. Outrage at what the Society is doing will drive them away. However, disappointment and sadness at their duplicity will go much further and is not so frightening to those you speak to. Sometimes it isn't even necessary to express it. Just manifest it in your attitude.

Should they get nasty, simply ask them, "Why are you trying to make me break my integrity?" They will probably ignore it, so repeat it and keep repeating it until they deal with it. That way you will refuse to be put on the defensive. Again, you have done nothing shameful. Don't act like it.

If your faith in Jehovah has been shaken, variations on the above theme can still be useful. Use your head and don't be fearful.

LoneWolf

Country Girl

Ummm.. whatre you gonna do? Tell the 3 year old to lie? I think it woudl just be better for you to make your beliefs known and just get it over with.

CG

Elsewhere

I say don't be a coward and disassociate yourself. Quit deceaving your JW family. Get on with your life and let them go on with theirs, of course theirs will be much long that yours. All those living double lives are just kidding themselves. Gal. 6:7 tells you why.

Are you really so willing to destroy a family like that?

I have spent over four years trying to get my family back. I'm not asking them to stop worshiping their god. I am more than willing to respect their beliefs... all I ask is the same respect in return. There is no reason a family must be torn apart simply because we have different religious beliefs.

I don't think that is too much to ask.

Edited by - Elsewhere on 8 January 2003 15:20:45

How do I tell my family I'm no longer a JW?

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