Pathetic Circuit Assembly Experiences

by minimus 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • Realist
    Realist
    But one day, this neighbor got sick and quickly got into his car to rush to the hospital. He drove so quickly, he found himself in the ditch. A number of people, including the brother came to his aid and got him out. He went to the hospital but he kept getting sicker. Eventually, you'll never guess what happened. He died. Then the D.O. concluded with the thought that we should always rely upon Jehovah because He will take care of things in his due time.............Any comments?

    LOL ...that is hilarious!!!

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    I find it interesting how JWs are percieving people DAing themselves. Instead of thinking "Hey, a bunch of people are leaving, someting must be wrong..." They are thinking "Oh good, I'm not alone in knowing someone who left."

  • jaded
    jaded

    I haven't been to an assembly in about seven years. Even back then the experiences were starting to get really lame. Remember when all the experiences were about "bringing someone into the truth"? Guess that doesn't happen much anymore. Thank goodness!

  • Skeptic
    Skeptic

    The first three experiences tell us that if you are going to be a JW, expect to be miserable. I am certain most JWs in the audience can relate to that.

    The last experience tells how Jehovah will just kill off anyone he pleases. I guess Jah couldn't find a way to get the police involved to stop the ringleader, or to maybe bring the ringleader into the "truth".

    JWs won't have any problem with the ringleader being killed. The Bible has many examples where God killed "opposers". Plus, any God that could order the killing of infants simply because they were born into the wrong nation (1 Sam. 15:3) will have no problem killing the ringleader in the experience.

    What is noteworthy is that none of the experiences listed showed a victory (maybe the last one does?). Usually an experience concludes with a bible study started, or someone no longer opposing, or someone getting baptised.

    The ringleader experience sounds both fairy tale-ish and familiar. Wasn't it in a Yearbook? I suspect they are getting old experiences to tell. Interesting that there are not many recent experiences.

    Richard

  • LDH
    LDH

    LOL @ Jaded .....

    too true!

    Now, notice how most of the experiences are about "Enduring" for the sake of the "Truth." LOL.

    Of course, 7-8 years ago I would have been laughing my ass off at the dude who died in the ditch he dug to persecute Jehovah's "Holy Ones."

    Lisa

    Who's Laughing Now? Class

  • Banshee
    Banshee

    No more dressing like hoochie mamas then....AAAAWWWW MAN!!

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    Sheesh! Some SOB digs a ditch around my house, he's gonna get an ass-full of rock salt. <grin> So this guy just dug a ditch around his neighbor's house, and no one thought to call the police? The owner just *let him* dig a ditch around his house? Hell, if the neighbor dug a ditch around the *whole house* and the brother didn't call the police, or try in some way to stop him... well, then he deserves it. Gaw...

    And the chick that got all depressed and prayed for umpteen years cuz her Bible study moved back to the Middle East? Now.. honestly, peeps... how dumb is that? Sounds like she had low-level chronic depression ANYWAY...

    Oh oh OH! The lady that lost all her mentally-regulated well-oiled robototrons for Jehovah? I bet they're all hangin out here. Hi fives to all!

    CG

    P.S. Edited for "the guy that dug the ditch didn't deserve to die... the JW fellow deserved to have the ditch dug around his house cuz he didn't call the bobbies or try to stop the ditcher digger." I am not an evil opposer hater, I swear.

    Edited by - country girl on 5 January 2003 20:37:16

  • blondie
    blondie

    Actually those experiences are adjusted to fit the theme of the assembly and specific details are added or eliminated. On several occasions I have seen those having experiences have their words practically drafted for them. On one occasion a sister had offered a Bible study on the first call with an alcoholic woman. It had been held for a few times but without much progress since the woman was drunk every time the sister came. By the time the experience reached the assembly, the woman was no longer presented as an alcoholic and it was implied that the study was still continuing although it had ended weeks before. The person giving the experience used the theme of the assembly 3 times in her narrative, definitely not her natural way of speaking.

    So don't feel inadequate, it is all a carefully drafted fairytale.

    Blondie

  • minimus
    minimus

    There are no experiences that deal with people coming in the "truth" because no one comes in. The best they can do now is relate how they placed a tract with an opposer and he said "thank you".

  • out4good3
    out4good3

    At every assembly I've ever been to those sharing their "experiences" were basically reading from cue cards anyway.

    real "heartfelt" off the cuff stuff

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