I got an e-mail for a long-lost dub friend

by Mackin 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mackin

    There is this woman I used to correspond with back in my dub days but lost contact with several years ago. Anyway just the other day she sent me an e-mail out of the blue.

    She wanted to know if I was "in" or "out" as she was planning a trip to Australia and if I was still "in" possibly we could meet (obviously I would have to travel to Oz). She had heard I wasn't going to the meetings any more.

    I replied that I was definitely not "in" any longer but that I wasn't DA'd or DF'd and if she wanted to read my story I provided her a link to my story on this site. I let her know that I'd be happy to meet up with her and catch up on old times.

    WELL, the next day I had a brief and very curt message back from her that since I was obviously now an apostate she wanted nothing more to do with me and that she was going to delete all the e-mails I had ever sent her as well as destroy the gifts I had sent years ago that she still had. And she was going to delete any references to my e-mail address on her system. As far as she is concerned I am now dead. So even though I have not been DF'd, she has decided to shun me anyway.

    Even though I should know better, I am constantly amazed by the callous attitude that dubs have towards anyone who leaves. Friendship is totally conditional upon following the borg rules. I used to have a great deal of affection for this woman, and I still do, kinda, but that affection was never, and will never be, conditional on what religion she follows. It's so sad that they can't see how unloving and unchristian their hypocritical beliefs are!!!

    I am SOOOOOO glad to be out of that dreadful organisation.


  • Stephanus

    What's her email address, Mackin? <evil laughter>

  • Prisca

    Awwww... she'd still kept your emails from all that time ago? And the gifts you'd given her? She must have still had a thing for you, and was hoping to get re-united.

    Sorry to hear that she's personally df'd you. It's her loss more than yours.

    I was obviously now an apostate
    You are??? Thanks for telling me, I never would have known it!
  • Banshee

    Boy did you ever bring back some painful memories for me! I remember being rejected by many "friends" in the Borg when I chose to leave it. I am so grateful that today I have real friends who will stick by regardless of my religious beliefs or lack thereof.

  • DIM

    11 months after getting out, none of my former JW "friends" want anything to do with me either.

  • Mackin


    Sorry, I'd been meaning to tell you I was an apostate for a while.


    Don't tempt me.

    DIM & Banshee:

    Thanks for your comments.


  • Mackin

    I just got another e-mail from her and it was the classic dub "it's all your fault, you've turned your back on Jehovah, you need to humble yourself and come back, yada, yada yada... barf.

    I really get pissed at the way dubs turn everything around on people. You know, the "weve been lying to you for years and it's upset you so that shows you obviously don't have enough faith in Jehovah" routine. Sickening!!!!

    Pity really, I'd kinda have liked to meet up with her again to "witness" to her. Guess it won't be now.


  • Gizmo

    You know mackin, I can sorta understand the e-mails being deleted, but the gifts???? What are they demonic all of a sudden? Maybe she just doesn't want to be reminded of the friendship or feelings she once had for you?

    After what I did as a kid to a dissed person well completely ignoring an elderly lady, I never treated anyone dissed badly ever again, whatever the (b)org says, they are still human beings and I always greeted them in the street if I happened to see them.

    One day she may surprise you and e-mail you again, telling you she's out...lol...how do you think she found out you were out?

  • gsx1138

    Macklin wrote:

    Friendship is totally conditional upon following the borg rules.

    Im really sorry to hear this happened to you. And it is an unfortunate truth about dub-ville. My kids stopped talking to me before I was disfellowshipped. My jw friends (so-called) shunned me before I became dfd. Conditional love. . . I will be your friend ONLY if you are a j-dub. I will love you ONLY if you are a j-dub. Guess it is what the dubs call marking.

    I just call a spade a spade - - - Your friend JUDGED you.



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