nagging doubt

by JNS2 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • JNS2

    My journey from lurker to poster was pretty quick. All the posts are addicting to read, this is worse than being a couch potato. I've been fortified to make a clean break & them the little inner voice starts talking back. What if all these grerat folks are just deluding themselves, what if this is just a group of those that are justifying leaving & doing whatever they darn well want to do. What if this is a gathering of elderettes FINALLY having a chance to speak out. What if this is a gathering place for those who want to do anything under the sun, free love, sex, smoking, new age, you name it, I can do it now! I can be a witch or warlock as long as it is not the black kind, I can cuss, I can smoke a pack a day of marlboros, anything & everything FINALLY I can do it all. There, I got that off my mind. Do I really think that's whats going on here? No. It's just the stupid voice coming from somewhere just when I think I'm seeing clearly. HELP

  • Valis

    Are you having doubts about the board or your choice to leave JWland? Think of it this long as you've left the JW organization (for any reason) yes you can do ANYTHING you want. Freedom is a beautiful thing and something that manifests itself in all kinds of ways here and hopefully in your life..

    It's just the stupid voice coming from somewhere just when I think I'm seeing clearly.

    Well, would you rather not have that second thinking? Maybe if you didn't have it you would still be in the borg. Perhaps with more time away your little voice will focus on things more important to you now and slough off some of that baggage. I'm not asking you to wait on Jehovah..*LOL*, but give your experience here some time. You might even try meeting up w/users who live around you, as indeed you will be suprised at how many there can be. In my experience of having met many from here, I've found so many good souls. Those things that were never present 3 times a week for so many years. very good for me indeed. Welcome to the board and be of good cheer.


    District Overbeer

  • ballistic
    I can smoke a pack a day of marlboros

    Some of us did think that way when we left for whatever reason. I smoked them for 8 years while I thought about what I wanted to do, then gave up last Jan 22nd 2002.

    Some people "go off the rails" when they leave. Others don't. It's different for everyone. The important thing is whether it is the truth or not.

  • ugg

    no words of wisdom from me,,,,just wanted to say hi and welcome....give yourself time...go slow...feel free to might like the answers....

  • JNS2

    Thanks valis. I regretted my post as soon as I hit the "add post" button. I know most everybody here has had some soul searching, gut wrenching times trying to get free, but I guess it's really fresh for me. The wounds are still open. I hate thinking about how long I was duped, it is an awful admission to make to myself. I really appreciate all the heartfelt comments made here from the posters when they're being serious. I am trying to conceive of what life is going to be like in the future without being a JW.

  • aojumper


    I am so glad you are here, It will take a while, for those voices to go away, it is the result of so much brainwashing. I know exactly what you mean by an open wound. It is an open wound on your soul, but it will heal, slowly, soon there will be a time when you almost miss the pain becaue it makes you feel alive, it makes you really see things clearly. My comparison to leaving the watchtower is to that of Neo when he turns to Morphius and asks why his eyes hurt..."because youv'e never used them before". That's is partly why you hurt. It's also painful knowing you've been lied to by people whom you've trusted, and leaving friendships, faced with the prospect of recieving the same shunning that you probably gave to other people.

    Things will get better and this is one of the best places to be, It was sucha help to me because you will find out very shortly your's not the only one to have gone through this, we all have had almost the same exit issues. You will also gain a multitude of advice and decisions of other people, there triumphs and regrets, that will help you balance and weigh your next steps, so you don't have to go through this alone, we are all here with you. Email me anytime you have questions or need support, if you live in the Phx, area we can hook up together too.

    take care,


  • SheilaM
    What if this is a gathering place for those who want to do anything under the sun, free love, sex, smoking, new age, you name it

    What if it is you ask, well what if others choose to do that? Freedom is CHOICES they have choices you have choices the thing is you have freewill and a brain. Use it to your own good do I have free love you bet I love my family my hubby and my petsDo I have sex you bet nightly with the thunderrider (my faithful hubby of 18 1/2 years) Smoking (not unless I'm on fire) by the way girls do you KNOW that fake nails are flammable ??? I was lighting a candle and wondered why the friggin flame wouldn't go out it was my FINGERNAIL LOLDo not judge others harshly and relax this place has been nothing but kind to me and my hubby unlike the dub's. If others have a different lifestyle why should I CARE as long as we respect each others CHOICES all is well. I don't care what sexual orientation/color or what they choose to inhale as long as we can be a support system for each other that is ALL that matters in this world.

  • mcpatrick

    Just my two cents here for what it's worth. Personally I think it's great that you're in doubt. Sharp mind there! I've been to a few sites about JW now that aren't made by JW and it's almost hylaric to see that all these sites practice just the things they accuse JW of. I saw some 'smart' sites that will show you some real lines out of JW publications to show a point, but then they are used in a context that they weren't meant for.

    I have read some posts..."horrible stories' about kids being forced to attend family studies for 4 hours a week or more, apart from going to the meetings. And yes, if you one didn't like them it must have been some boring hours. Even JW are just people I guess and every parent does his own thing , does what he or she thinks is right.

    Apart from how individual people fill in their life and how they raise their kids and bring them up in a believe they think is right, I haven't seen a religion that has had so much to endure and has so much opposition as JW. It's almost like JW's are the nagging conscience of the world and the world would like to squash that little voice in their heads (that keeps showing up at their front door) so they can finally do whatever they please.

    Oh, you think..he must be a JW to say these things. And you are right. I am. I'm not proud of it, but I will say that I have been inactive for quite a few years now. In this period there has been absolutely no pressure from anyone to return or anything of the sort. And after all these years it can't be said that I am just a JW because I am being pushed or haven't got the time to stop and look around.

    I have had this pause now and been busy with work and the things that seem to be important in this world, but it doesn't bring real satisfaction. You can say I have had time to see the world outside of JW and I have had my time inside. I have a free will and can choose now. The choice really isn't hard anymore, and the clear untruths that I have read about JW on sites like this have made the decission even easier. Still one shouldn't choose a religion because it is so impopular in the world, even though that in itself already takes a strong character, but based on facts or maybe even more on its results. There are endless wars in the world. Rapes, theft, murders you name them. I cannot honestly think of a religion I could be part of and know in my heart that even though these things go least I know it wasn't one of my fellow believers, other than JW.

    All in all the last little thing I needed was to see sites like this one I guess. It's ironic of course..I will agree, the fact that this anti-JW site can help someone go back or become a JW, but then again I guess someone that really seeks the truth can either directly find it or rule out all the untruthfull places he encounters.

    To make a long story short...if you have a nagging open..take your time..investigate..don't let other people tell you what to do (errr, including me :o) ).

    Have wisdom!

    ps. I'm glad it's a to the first meeting in years again tomorrow and I am looking forward to it!

  • ballistic

    Mcpatrick, I can clearly see you are still in brain washed state. Here you are a non-JW sticking up for your controlled past.

    Have a good think about it, go away and then tell us how you feel.

  • nakedmvistar

    If you want a pat on the back and reasurance that you did the "right" thing by leaving, well this is the forum for you. But if you want an unbiased view, I suggest you look elsewhere. I think we all can agree that this is an "apostate" forum. Sure you'll find varying opinions, but the majority are, as I see it, hostile to anything JW. Also, just because you leave the ORG. doesn't mean you have to dissolve your faith in God. One more thing, I don't think you need to take up smoking, drinking etc.., to declare your "freedom" unless you feel the need to surrender yourself to addiction... //Nakedmvistar//

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