i am getting stronger,,,i am so proud

by ugg 18 Replies latest watchtower medical

  • ugg

    ok,,,i am patting myself on the back!!!! ( i did not take my humble pill today) i am just so happy and proud...

    to anyone who reads this it may seem quite silly...but for me it is such an accomplishment..

    after months of therapy,,i have found the courage to "reveal" myself....i was able to reach out and write personally to 2 friends..IT WAS GREAT!!!! i gave my real name and where i lived and some personal information....I MADE CONTACT with people....

    FEAR!!! a powerful emotion...Sin and the watchtower punishes you,,,sin bad enough and they will take your family away from you....don't think,,,don't speak your opinions,,,,trouble will follow....

    deeply ingrained feelings....who knows,,,,maybe with months more of therapy,,,i might even be brave enough to recieve mail from my friends with out fear of punishment!!!!!!

    each step may sound so small,,,but none the less,,,it IS a step forward....i hope to be a normal whole person some day......i will try my best weather it takes 2 years or 20! i know it is not all the societies fault,,,,,but....the DEEPEST scars are from them...

    gosh,,,,i did not mean to write a novel....the words just came out...thanks!!!!!

  • musky

    Great! I hope everything continues to go good for you

  • jgnat

    Woohoo! Great job, ugg! I am proud of you!

  • COMF

    By doing this, you have taken a huge step toward reclaiming control of your life for yourself. Congratulations! This is really worthy of celebration!

    Edited by - COMF on 4 January 2003 13:0:43

  • Valis

    Way to go ugg! Keep at it...I think, in combination w/mental problems, the lack of social maturation XJWs have to deal with makes it hard to get "on track" and back to living like normal folks do. Keep pushing yourself to meet people. You will be so much the better for it! And remember, there isn't a difference between "the world" and your world. Its your's for the making and the taking. Happy new years uggs...way to go!


    District Overbeer

  • Joyzabel

    Congratulations, Ugg.....

    yep, babysteps. That's what you need to do.

    I can remember just about a year ago that my hubby and I met some from this board for the first time. It was scary at first, then it gets better, more comfortable.

    I really liked what Matty said on another thread...I hope it helps.

    "There's all those memories, the nostalgia, the people you've met, the conventions you've been to - we have a lot of shared history. This sort of warm community feeling is a smokescreen for the irreconcilable doctrinal errors, the shunning, sex abuse, the blood issue, etc Those JW communities seem very cozy on the surface, but there is a frightening undercurrent of rigidity and obedience and any divergence is greeted with an immediate drop of the comfy facade." Matty\

    Now go create your own safe cozy "world".


  • Introspection

    Hey Ugg, that wasn't a novel at all. I did find this one paragraph interesting:

    each step may sound so small,,,but none the less,,,it IS a step forward....i hope to be a normal whole person some day......i will try my best weather it takes 2 years or 20! i know it is not all the societies fault,,,,,but....the DEEPEST scars are from them...
    Who says you're not a whole person now? Sure by some standards (the "normal" one) maybe you're not, but I don't see any reason why someone who might have a nicer life without any of the crap you had to endure is any BETTER than you. Mind you, I've looked into psychology, the wholistic stuff, mind/body approaches and so on, and while appreciating what all of that has to say I say what is whole is simply different for everybody. In fact, those scars just mean you're a deeper individual for it, and some might say that's better than a person who has led a sheltered life. Isn't it true that when you are true to yourself, you can't help but be whole?
  • onacruse

    ugg, you are an inspiration. It's very difficult for us to make an objective self-evaluation of our progress. Oftentimes we tend to emphasize what we perceive as our remaining weaknesses. It remains for others to point out to us the magnitude of improvements we've made.

    Well, in my opinion, you've made tremendous positive changes in the last few months. Compared to the first day you came into chat, you are now much more open and much less apprehensive. And, don't you know, you have a LOT of really good things to say!

    Glad that you're finding your voice. You go, girl!


  • wildfire

    DEAR UGG ,,,,,,I am so proud of you when i first came here a few months back I too was searching for a voice,,, and i am glad to say I feel so free here its just what the doc ordered I too am in therapy,,,, and have been for so long my doc just couldnt believe all the support i got from this board and he is happy for me....but I too have some one still in,,, so its a struggle... day by day.... but I have even gone as far as helping desperate df ones and it makes me feel so good,,, better than any day in field service,,, (never much good at knocking on strangers doors......) so KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK,,,BABY STEPS IS JUST FINE....IT WORKS FOR ME ,,,,,,,,TAKE CARE


    ((((((Hugs for Ugg!!!)))))

    I feel very proud of you Ugg! Glad you are feeling and acknowledging your own baby steps and progress. Wonderful! Keep walkin!! You are among friends here!!


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