Ways "THEY" Controlled You

by minimus 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • whyhideit


    Are you wanting to know why I left? If so, it mainly centered around a awakening of my mind to their level of error. There are many details, but for the most part "error" covers it. As for my status, it is that I left on my own terms. There is some control there though. In that I must be controlled to accept their terms of me, I must be controlled to remember what the reasons were for exit, and I must be controlled to learn more about life. Control, as a word and condition, scares people. We all want to think we are 100% free of the control of the religion, but we are not. I give the example of alcohol again. A person can be dry twenty years, yet alcohol still has control over them in their mind. If not, then they could just drink again and not ever have to worry about anything.

    To add, besides internet sites like this one. I never refer to myself as a Ex-Jw. I only do it here, as it explain background to the reason for speaking. Although for the most part, I think participation on these boards automatically shows you are a Ex-Jw of some sort.

  • neyank

    ""THEY" failed miserably in measuring up. That's why "THEY" no longer have my @$$ occupying any of "THEIR" chairs at the Kingdom Hall."


    I like this statement.

    Yes, the WTS did fail miserably in showing Jws that they are Gods chosen org.

    The control factor is one of the main problems ( besides their false teachings)
    that the WTS has.
    They are overbearing in so many ways.
    The list of Dos and Don'ts that the org. has just gets longer and longer as time goes on.
    Everything from what books you can and cannot read to what is apropriate clothes to wear to who you can and cannot asociate with to whether or not college is acceptable to making sure that you and your loved ones spend every free moment you have in the WTS business. ie: being at all the meetings (sales meetings), getting out and trying to sell the WTS (books and teachings) to the unsuspecting public, ect...........

    I think the bottom line is, the WTS does not want their followers to have any kind of enjoyment outside of the WTS.
    It's not surprising that JWS for the most part can't wait for God to come down and wipe humanity out.
    After all, JWS have NO enjoyment here. Nothing to look foward to here.

    They aren't even allowed to have goals outside of WTS goals to reach for.
    What goals does the WTS give them to reach for?
    Pioneer, MS, Elder, Do, Co, ect...
    All for the WTS. FREE labor for a book publishing company.
    It's no wonder that depresion is rampart umong JWs.

    All they can do is be at the meetings and be out in service selling the WTS.

    The WTS has truly shown how unChristian they are.
    But like any club or group, there will always be those that WANT to be told what to do.
    Reminds me somewhat of the trials the goverments had with the German soldiers after WWII. Anyone remember the excuse the soldiers had for commiting the atrocities?



  • blondie

    Abuse (religious) creates toxic shame - the feeling of being flawed and diminished and never measuring up. Toxic shame feels much worse than guilt. With guilt, you've done something wrong; but you can repair that - you can do something about it. With toxic shame there's something wrong with you and there's nothing you can do about it; you are inadequate and defective.

    John Bradshaw ( "Healing the Shame that Binds You")

    quote from Bradshaw's book as he links religious perfectionism with toxic shame:

    "Religion has been a major source of shaming through perfectionism. Moral shoulds, oughts and musts have been sanctioned by subjective interpretations of religious revelation. The Bible has been used to justify all sorts of blaming judgement. Religious perfectionism teaches a kind of behavioral righteousness. There is a religious script, which contains the standards of holiness and righteous behavior. These standards dictate how to talk...dress, walk and behave in almost every situation. Departure from this standard is deemed sinful.

    What a perfectionistic system creates is a 'how to act loving and righteous script.' "In such a script one is taught how to act loving and righteous. It's actually more important to act loving and righteous than to be loving and righteous. The feeling of righteousness and acting sanctimoniously are wonderful ways to mood alter toxic shame. They are often ways to interpersonally transfer one's shame to others...The disciples of any religious system can say we are good and the others those not like us, the sinners, they are bad. This can be exhilarating to the souls of toxically shamed persons."

    Blondie (no longer controlled by toxic shame)

  • Swan

    Any sort of outlet for recreation and socializing was eventually squelched by either the elders or the CO. This included roller skating, skiing, goofy golf, or any other regular activity that they found out about. These were basically activities where several JWs would agree to meet at a particular public place, often on Sunday night, pay their own entrance fees, etc., buy thier own food, and have some good clean fun. Often they grew, and that's when the elders found out and got involved. We weren't drinking, smoking, necking, or petting, but because we weren't home studying our WTs for next Sunday, it was wrong.



  • minimus

    Swan, what's "goofy golf"?.......The ultimate control toward a number of elders that were in a circuit was when the Circuit Overseer found out a large group of Big Shot elders went to an event that required us all (male & female) to dress up in semi to formal attire and PAY a nominal fee for the band, food, and drinks. One certain elder got removed from a plumb position in the Circuit so that an example could be made....NO LARGE GATHERINGS and CERTAINLY, NO CHARGING MONEY FOR CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP.

  • SheilaM
    So tell me, were you baptised? Did you leave "them" or were you removed... Were the rules and regulations too much for you? Did you hate it because you couldn't do "fun things" Did you have a faith in God or were you just going through the motions? Do any of these questions have anything to do with your perception of the term "control" in relations to the org? ////Nakedmvistar////


    I left them, it wasn't so much the rules and regulations it was the rules and regs that pertained only to some and not to others, the backstabbing, the elders wives that knew information about others they shouldn't, the cruelty the lack of love and respect. The elders that scammed and cheated and were wealthy but wanted others to be poor with no means to take care of their family. The abuse of wives and children that was considered normal....

    Shall I go on I was baptized in 84 and left after their cruelty to my hubby in 95 or so.......

  • Swan


    Goofy golf is another term for miniature golf, like when you put the ball through windmills and into a clown's mouth.


  • minimus

    Thank You Swan, Now I understand why the elders wanted to ban "GOOFY GOLF".It sounds like it could lead to DEMONISM.

  • nakedmvistar

    John Bradshaw: New-Age Recovery Prophet
    by Debbie Dewart


    Many people say that places like Disneyland bring out the "child" in all of us. If that were all the expression "inner child" ever meant, I would not be writing this article. But to John Bradshaw, the so-called innocent "inner child" is the foundation of a psycho-logical recovery system that demolishes basic biblical truths while attracting many Christians.

    Bradshaws prolific writing career has spawned several best-selling books and lengthy video productions. His most recent book, Family Secrets, is currently being promoted through a series on cable TV. Some Christians have never heard the name John Bradshaw, while others are either enraged or enthralled by his teachings. But almost everyone has heard the ideas contained in his messagedangerous, unbiblical ideas that appear clothed with Scriptures in the ever popular Love is a Choice, authored by Christian psychologists Frank Minirth and Paul Meier.

    Original Sin and the Inner Child. The biblical teaching on original sin is flatly denied by Bradshaw, who calls it "mythical." He sees young children, and many adults, as "premoral" and "shame-based," lacking moral capacity. The Bible affirms that sin has corrupted the entire human race (Genesis 3, Romans 5:12-21, Psalm 51:5). Bradshaw redefines mans fundamental problem as separation from self rather than separation from God (Isaiah 59:2). His counsel involves the "reclaiming" of your "wounded inner child" rather than reconciliation with your Creator.

    Self as "god." God alone is the great "I AM" (Exodus 3:14), but Bradshaw wants you to discover your "I AMness," also defined as your "true self," "core godlikeness," and "true meaning of perfection." Meanwhile, in his book Creating Love, he is unwilling to acknowledge the sinlessness of our Lord, Jesus Christ! He calls such a doctrine "inhuman mystification." The Bible abhors such confusion between God the Creator and man the creature. The Christian has Gods promise of a new self in Christ, recreated to be conformed to His image in righteousness and true holiness (Ephesians 4:22-24, Romans 8:28-30, Galatians 2:20, 2 Corinthians 5:17).

    Trust in self. God promises the believer that He will "never leave you nor forsake you" (Joshua 1:5, Deuteronomy 31:16, Hebrews 13:5). Trust in self is declared to be foolishness (Proverbs 28:26, Jeremiah 17:5-8). Bradshaw, however, recommends that trust be placed solely in self. He says to tell your "inner child" that "you are the only person he will never lose, and that you will never leave him."

    Meditation on nothingness. Meditation on Gods Word is a wonderful and important activity for Christians (Psalm 1:1). Bradshaw reveals his New Age pantheism, characteristic of Hinduism rather than Christianity, in the lengthy sections of his books where he advises his readers to "meditate on nothingness" or on "just being."

    "Being" or "Doing"? Bradshaw admits that his teaching in Homecoming is a "secularized" version of the Christian concept of justification by faith. He laments that so many of our "wounded inner kids" were taught that we could matter only by "doing," never by merely "being." Salvation is indeed the free gift of God (Ephesians 2:8-9), but Bradshaw suppresses all of the biblical teachings about the work of Christ that merits that gift on our behalf. He also fails to see that God intends good works to be the fruit of genuine saving faith (Ephesians 2:8-10).

    Eternal Laws. In his ongoing rebellion against God, Bradshaw denies the existence of eternal laws, saying that "such a worldview has been refuted many times over." He teaches (inconsistently!) that we should not have "shoulds," recommending instead that you formulate "your own Ten Commandments." This violates innumerable passages of Scripture and is fundamentally irrational as well. (His teaching is itself a "should"!)

    All too often, these anti-biblical teachings appeal even to Christians who are struggling with the problems of life. Its easy to believe that youre a victim of others, and its not so easy to acknowledge that youre a sinner. But Bradshaw places all of the burden on self, while Jesus promises rest to the weary and heavy laden. Self, in all its sin and frailty, is the cornerstone of Bradshaws system, a way that "seems right but leads to death" (Proverbs 14:12). Jesus Christ is the chief cornerstone of the true, biblical way to life, both here and in eternity.

    (From PAL V4N3)


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