Ways "THEY" Controlled You

by minimus 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    "THEY" refers to the Watchtower Society, the elders, the brothers and sisters, etc. When you look at how much control has been exerted over us over the years, you can't help but be amazed. For example, if we had a major snowstorm in the area and the entire state was told by the Governor to "please not go out", unless the call was made by the elders, the meeting was still on and you were expected to attend. If "they" said that a certain person that you really liked was not the best of association, you were made to feel that they were "bad association" and you would have to limit association. If your congregation was visited by the Circuit Overseer and he said that he expected 100% out in the field service on Saturday morning, you felt obliged to go out, even if it was just to make a short appearance.........Any others ways "THEY" exert control???

  • Shakita

    Hi Minimus,

    The elders also exert control over wedding ceremonies. They say who can and who can't be in the wedding party. That is, if the bride and groom want their wedding conducted in the kingdom hall by an elder. It was the elders overbearing intrusiveness in my daughter's and son-in-laws wedding that spelled the end of my association with the JW's. What a bunch of anal retentive morons. The elders gave my kids such hell over having my oldest son and daughter-in-law in the wedding party, that eventually they weren't in the wedding party at all. Of course, my kids could have said, "screw you" to the elders, we'll have in the wedding party whoever we want to have in it. However, since we all have spent most of our lives in association with mostly JW's, that shortens the wedding invitations considerably.

    The actions of the elders in this case shows that they are willing to hold the bride and groom hostage until they get their way. If they don't get their way, then the bride and groom are labeled bad association and many loser JW's won't show up for the wedding and reception. However, I have known weddings that included individuals that would be considered bad association because of their chosen lifestyle. Because the elder was influential and had some pull, sometimes these people were allowed to be in the wedding party or at least to walk their daughter down the aisle. So, by kissing elder booty, some were allowed to be in the wedding party that otherwise they wouldn't be allowed to. In conclusion, most elders are control freak losers that rarely follow their own advice. My advice for any young people contemplating marriage among the JW's, run for the hills.

    Mr. Shakita

  • minimus

    Good post Mr. Shakita, a very true commentary. When weddings are at the KH, all involved have to go through a list of questions to make sure that the wedding qualifies to be in Jehovah's House. Other questions the elders need to ask the couple involve their being clean before Jehovah, with no hanky-panky going on before the wedding. {Some elders get very personal}. If you leave the Hall, you're still obliged to conform to "their" standards. " Who might be at the reception, who's in charge of the festivities, will the drinking be controlled, will there be disfellowshipped relatives there, will there be music that could be stumbling, on&on..." Yup, they LOVE control.

  • Witch Child
    Witch Child

    I was always being approached by elders wives and counseled about my clothes and hair and make-up. I am a pretty attractive woman, so I am told, by the time I was done following all their rules I was dressed dowdier than any grandmother... I noticed lots of other women wearing clothes that were like the ones I got counseled on and they were left in peace. WTF? I knew a woman in another hall that was also constantly counselled while others were left alone... What is with that?


  • AnotherEscapee

    I was once councelled by a PO in front of 8 people at a dinner party, my sin - wearing a dress that showed my knees and bare arms. My reply to him when he asked if I thought it was appropriate wear for a christian sister and wife of an elder was - "I'm wearing it arn't I and its a darn sight more appropriate than your wife's dress with her big old bosum hanging out!". I thought he was going to self destruct he was so angry, unfortunately, he didn't! I always fought against their control, I stayed for my family but now I realise the only way to help them is to be free of the borg and hope I can help them see the real truth about the WTS.

  • ugg


  • SheilaM

    Witch Child Mr. Shakita:

    OH can I relate first WC if your attractive in a congregation that errr doesn't have a lot of attractive women it is HORRIBLE when I was in the Southern MO congregation they treated me like a harlot. The pioneer sister kept telling me I was to "into" fashion. TRUE HOW TRUE this was the friggin late 80's and she was dressed like the 50's geesh.They hated that I dressed my daughter nicely. When I moved to Mass they at least didn't harp on that there were many attractive sisters so it was much easier

    Mr.Shakita I thought when I was ready to get married in 1984 I was going to kill the elders, I didn't have any idea they thought they had control over my wedding,,,well I guess they did, two strangers were my Matron and Maid of honor I had known them for about six months. I always wanted my oldest sister to stand with me, I was five when I was her flower girl (in her first wedding) and my cousins who I had grown up with well that was a BIG HELL NO on the elders partand now they were telling me what song to have I wanted the Carpenter's The Wedding Song a beautiful SPIRITUAL song, I had to go through the thing lyric by lyric well finally I was so pissed I told them "ya know what were not having it in the kingdom hall (how does one coordinate anything with avacodo green?) so if you don't want to conduct the ceremony I'm sure I can find a minister who will I was a member of the baptist church" So we ended up fighting again about something in rehearsl caused my hubby and I too bicker I was so upset I almost called off the wedding. So ended up with the two strangers the friggin longass wedding talk SNOOOOOOOOOREEEEEEEE and MY GRANNY AND FAMILY ALL THERE LOL The control they exert is so stupid they didn't even want us to dance at the reception, I stood my ground and kept saying ya know this is not at the KH. I have been to sooooo many witness weddings that make funerals look happy!

  • wildfire

    BOY TALK ABOUT DOUBLE STANDARD S. WHEN I WAS MARRIED FOR THE FIRST TIME.... my husband and i were only studying ,,,,not even baptized we were allowed to get married at the KingDummmb Hall my non witness sister was the maid of honor, and its th e only time my parents were in the Hall...... also not witnesses....that was in 1973 --------- many moons ago,, hehe.,,, anyway I knew of a situation where two witnesses couldnt get married at the kingdum hall because of the worldly brother wanting to be the best man...... this was in 1999.......my the new light just keeps getting freaking brite..... TALK ABOUT CONTROL FREAKS....... FOR SURE,,,, AND DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE COLLEGE THING..... HOW IT WAS A HORRIBLE THING NOT THAT LONG AGO,,, BUT NOW IT SSSS JUST FINE.......GEORGE ORWELL YOU WERE RIGHT ,,,, DOUBLESPEAK,,,,FACECRIME,,,, BIG BROTHE R IS WATCHING.....DO AS WE SAY NOT AS WE DO........ ( 1984 THE BOOK) LOVED IT ,,,,,

  • JH

    They exerted control on the car you should have had. They told you what kind of films you could not watch. Once they said 95% of films are not for christians. They didn't like people dressed to tight, so that you would not show your shape. If you would hit yourself with a hammer on your finger, you were not aloud to scream %?&*((). You could not get married with a person you love, if she wasn't a witness. The list is too long to continue.

  • SillyPutty

    Who is it at the Society that does all the research, watching the R rated films, reading the trash novels and such? They all know what's going on in this world and our bedrooms. They want to have all the fun, they HAVE to be having fun while researching, and we can't have any.

Share this