We have shown an abhorrence to pedophiles, and rightfully so, but how would you view pedophilia if your own son or daughter was either a known pedophile or displayed abnormal feelings for children?
If YOUR Child Was A Pedophile, What Would You Do?
For me I would feel the same way as I would if my child murdered or raped someone I DIDN'T raise my child that way and if I found out before they were arrested I WOULD TURN them in. They have had love and support and the best of life, for them to turn to something such as pedophilia would be the end of me, I'm sure. Buyif I had information to help the victiom I would testify against them and NO I wouldn't visit them. I don't condone it in others, why should I in children I raised. Would I love them, that is a question I can't answer honestly, I have not been put into that situation. But as a Mother my children would HOPE the police got to them first ....
edited because I got so emotional I forgot punctuation
Edited by - SheilaM on 3 January 2003 0:4:42
If any of my sons were to harm a child they would be better off turning themselves in. Life wouldn't work out for them any longer.
Minimus, what would you do?
I know of a woman that had a son that was disfellowshipped for pedophilia. She took him back home to live with her and thereafter got disfellowshipped for immorality (with a priest). She would NEVER stop loving her flesh and blood, her son. Do you think that you could actually stop loving your child because of any crime that they might commit, whether it be murder, rape or pedophilia? ........I have a daughter that I believe I would love unconditionally.I would try to get her the best of help but I really don't think that I could cut her out of my life.
Edited by - minimus on 3 January 2003 0:22:9
My first question would be, "Do you want me to call the police or will you turn yourself in?" I would cooperate with the police to the fullest extent I could. I would turn over any and all evidence I could lay my hands on. However, I would attend the trial and I would visit him (or her) in prison. I would do everything I could to help my child get help during and after the prison term.
I would not turn my back on him. The only way I would not be involved in his life is if he cut me out. Maybe I'm just a bleeding heart liberal save-the-whales pinko commie, but I know what it feels like to have your father throw you away and I could not in good conscience ever do that to my children, no matter what they do.
Do you think that you could actually stop loving your child because of any crime that they might commit, whether it be murder, rape or pedophilia?
Being able to stop loving your child, mother, father or sibling is not a very easy thing to do for most. You would have to be conditioned (like a good JW) to just stop loving a person , imo.
Minimus, I asked you a very direct question that you did not answer. The question is and was, What Would You Do? You are very good at bringing up interesting questions. However, you are very bad at answering your own questions. Hey Minimus, I hate to lay shit on your head, but I think you are practicing the defense mechanism of "Intellectualisation". Yes Minimus, you can sit on the sidelines and ask about other people's lives, but you still have to deal with your own. Doing so, is not fun, but it has to be done.
This thread describes MY situation. My second child, now 21, was the victim of an M.S. when he was in second grade. He then became a teenager who molested my youngest daughter. So now I have a son/victim/molester and a daughter/victim. My son molested my youngest daughter. Both molester and victims are my own children.
When I first found out, my son had just moved to Chicago with his father. Good thing too, because the rage I felt was tremendous, and I probably would have beat him down real bad. Mind you, my son did not reveal what happened to him until after he was sent to jail, so dealing with that didn't come until later.
The police had been informed by a school counselor and then they called me in to tell me. The police then informed my ex to get my son back to Dallas for the trial. I had to testify against my son, and so did my daughter in sickening detail. My son spent the entire time denying everything and was very defiant in his attitude, which the judge was very angry about needless to say. Before the trial began and we were all seated in the courtroom, we could hear my son ranting and raving at his defense lawyer that his sister will have to testify against him and that he's not admitting nothing.
Do I still love my son, as the original question asked? Yeah, it's there. But it's also not the same sense from before. He's my son and he was hurt, but he also hurt my daughter. Her life is changed now too, because of him. If my own daughter wasn't the victim of my son, it would probably be different in some respects than what others have already posted. But my feelings are torn about my son. I love him, yet it's different now. Maybe as time goes by things will get better. He's just been released after serving four years and has several years of parole to do. I guess to be open and honest, I would have to say my love for my son is as if he were my nephew; I love him but it's different.
My son is a habitual liar and manipulator, one not to be trusted. This was finally discovered by his counselors while in jail, and he ended up serving an xtra year than what he would have had to. The original sentence was twelve years with a minimum of three served. He was caught stealing and selling someone's prescription meds while in jail, so served another year. He's out now, and living in Dallas. I have seen him twice since he got out of jail, and I hope he will create a good life for himself. He just moved out of the Half Way house into a roommate situation, but immediately found the roommate is heavily into drugs, which of course could get my son in serious trouble, guilt by association or something. He told me he feels like he's still 16, which makes sense because his life came to a stop at sixteen when he was arrested and put on trial. He's also making 16 yr old decisions, and no one can suggest or tell him different because he'll get mad if you show even the slightest facial expression indicating disagreement and he won't talk to you for months. So my relationship with my son is strained to say the least.
I hope none of you have to answer the question what would you do if your child molested one of your other children. It's tough, real tough.