"This morning's instruction is for all you New Bethelites. We're going to talk about going to the bathroom without touching your weenie."
"Brother Flippy, you're not looking very Spiritual this morning. Is something wrong? Did you squeak the ewok again last night? Remember we talked about that?"
"Damn, 3 day old bread rolls! I haven't had 'em that fresh in YEARS!"
"Don't look now, but we have to stand up and clap when the meal is over!"
"Bethel, the only place where we rehash the Watchtower TWICE! Once every morning, then on Monday nights!"
Suffering severe glaucoma, Brother Knorr got up to address the table. Looking down the length of it, he suddenly realized that Sister Forgetalot had dressed in a regrettable shade of lilac, and sat down again rapidly from the shock to his system.
"All right, who spiked the coffee with non-decaf? I can see those grins! You're all tripping out of your skulls, aren't ya? Own up!"
As he finished reading the last paragraph, Brother Flippy felt a toe rubbing his crotch. Unfortunately, there was no Sister sitting across from him, and the Sisters at the table were not known for their athletic leg-bending abilities.