I was born in and naturally never exposed to any other way of thinking. Nearly my whole family is still in and therefore I don't wish to be da'd. It makes it really hard because I still attend meetings once in a great while just because of the pressure and the guilt trips from my family. But I don't want to go at all, yet I can't seem to get the courage to break away. I attend so infrequently that most JW's don't socialize with me anyway, other than family. I don't fit in with JW's, and I don't fit in with anyone else either. It's hard making worldly friends because I feel so different. Then when everyone starts talking about the holidays I sit there like a bump on a log and feel like such a weirdo because I can't participate in the conversation. Then someone says "What church do you go to?" I don't want to say JW because I certainly don't feel like one anymore, but I don't go to other churches either, so again. . . WEIRDO. And I would LOVE to celebrate holidays and do all the normal stuff, especially now that I have kids, but I don't want to get "found out", so I either don't participate or if I do participate, then I have to hide it from my family and the congregation. What a weird, weird life when you have to lie to your mom about buying a Christmas present for your kids. Yes, I think it's definitely harder to leave if you were born in, unless all your family leaves too, which rarely ever happens. Someone on this site put it well when they said "it's like they're holding family members for ransom." It makes me sick and miserable, but I stay in because I can't stand to even imagine the look on my 70-year-old mothers face if I ever told her I was going to leave. I was already DF'd once and then reinstated and she told me if i didn't get reinstated it would KILL her.
Were you born into the jw faith?
by nakedmvistar 38 Replies latest jw friends
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reubenfine
Wow, by my count on this thread, it's 13 born/raised in it to 2 that weren't. Make mine 14. I think (but can't relate to ones who joined) that it's harder if you're raised it in because you have no other point of reference. It took me awhile to leave, but once I made the decision I was outta there never to go back.
My kids are raised and I can't get interested in the Holidays. They just have no meaning to me so I move on to something that does. My heart goes out to the ones who needed therapy. Thank God you got help in time! God's organization my A**!!
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Beans
I was putting my hand up at the Watchtower study in the womb man!
Beans
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Alligator Wisdom
I was basically born into the JW faith (if you count first stepping into a KH at the age of 5). Now trying to do a "submarine witness" and "submerge". It's quite difficult accomplishing that, being that most of my family are currently active JW's and I'm a MS (who declined appointment for eldership twice). I wasn't (and still not) very socially inept because of the indoctrination of the world being "evil".
Making my best attempt to have a firm hold on the "real life" at the age of 35.
Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother "NOT" Exerting Vigorously")
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ugg
i came into it.....i don't think it makes a difference....you get great big scars either way...
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PurpleV
I was born and raised a JW. I had a horrible childhood, my mother was depressed and life was nothing more than humiliation after humiliation at school (I was in the pariah clique), topped off with humiliating door-to-door work and 5 hours of mind-numbing boring meetings.
To top it off we weren't the most 'theo' family, my father only went on Sunday to placate my mother, and she preferred getting her own territory and dragging me out in service rather than go with the study groups. So I was a pariah at the KH too.
It's interesting how many of us left because we couldn't imagine living forever with only JWs. I would rather be dead, so I left.
It wasn't hard for me to assimilate myself into the "world." I reveled in my freedom, I loved the holidays and singing the national anthem and voting and being like everyone else. The worst thing about being a JW was how abnormal I felt. It was a real relief to become 'normal.' I'm not a pariah anymore.
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Lin
I was born and raised in it, third generation. Leaving the org was a tough decision to make, considering it meant losing everyone I ever knew and basically thrown into a world I was taught to fear. Surprisingly though, it wasn't difficult to make good friends with "worldly people", even though as a witness I was taught there are only true friendships in the jw org...gag choke laughing sarcastically!!!
Some things I've felt rather naive about, not having had experience with before. I love the holidays, yet I didn't know what to DO!, how to decorate or even how to "trim a tree". I used to copy what I saw in magazines, LOL. I really like celebrating friends birthdays and my kids birthdays, yet none of them ever remember mine or send a card, etc. But, I really enjoy Christmas time the most, and love driving around looking at all the lights and yard art, etc.
It was a difficult yet easy decision to make to leave, and I'm not regretting it one bit!
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cruzanheart
My parents were studying when I was born & Mom "took her stand on the blood issue" to have me. Dad was in the Navy and stationed in Honolulu, so Mom would have had me at Tripler Army Hospital EXCEPT they told her she'd need a Caesarian and that they would give her blood as a matter of course (this was 1955, after all - didn't everyone need a blood transfusion?). So Mom, who used to tell this story with great drama and flair, had me at a little back street hospital (now a huge one) called the Kapiolani Maternity Hospital. Had a healthy kid and didn't need blood.
It was very difficult to leave - I required therapy to get me through the initial stages - but I am completely gobsmacked at how kind my "worldly" friends and neighbors have been. They are trying very hard to help through the transition and gently show me how normal people do things. It's wonderful!
Love to all,
Nina
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aarque
I was born and raised a JW. Because my dad was not a believer, my mom and the five of us were treated differently by the PO than were families who were not "divided households". I could never accept the fact that my dad, who taught us about honesty and respect, worked hard all his life and supported us the best he could, rarely drinks, has never looked at another woman, has been by mom's side for more than 55 years will die at Armageddon because he is not a JW. More than 20 years ago, I was having a problem and went to the elders for help. They ignored me. I did a fade and they never bothered to contact me. My siblings are no longer members, either. My mom doesn't get around very well any more and seldom attends meetings. The elders never call on her, have never made arrangements for someone to pick her up so she can attend; no one bothers. She has been a JW for over 50 years.
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LittleToe
Born in - 3rd Gen. of elders.