Were you born into the jw faith?

by nakedmvistar 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • MadMax

    I was born a JW, and me thinks it is hard either way, however more difficult if family members are active still. My wife and kids are still active and I haven't had any yearning for the Christmas crap etc. I think it is too commercailised anyway. (Many of you cringe)

    Now I'm thinking is this reasoning because of years of conditioning as a JW or would I have been like this anyway. Well I will never know, will I. I've been inactive 3 yrs but still have occasional association with those close to my family and relatives.

    I think a christmas tree might give away too much to my family if you know what I mean.

  • Jade

    I was born and raised in it, married in it. My leaving basically caused my divorce. I think it's harder for those like us becuause we don't really build a life outside the borg, then when you leave, you have to start all over as adults. I have a very hard time trusting people since basically all of my witness friends disowned me. Thank goodness one of my brothers and my youngest sister have left as well.


  • garybuss

    I am a COW. Child Of Witnesses. It was hard to leave and impossible to stay.

    I have learned to live life in spite of being trained not to learn to live life. gary

  • onacruse
    It was hard to leave and impossible to stay.

    Exactly. Born into it, in it for 38 years, 17-yr marriage ended because I left it. All my fam is still in it, except for my new and lovely wife (also an ex-lifer).

    Being in this forum is making a HUGE difference in my recovery and reconstruction, but for me the bottom line is rather like the Nike slogan:



  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Nope. But I started studying on my own when I was 9.

    Yes I know, but I've never claimed to be that smart.

  • Aztec

    Unfortunatly yes I was. I think it's definatly rougher on those born into it. I still get confused by holidays but I have to say it's a welcome hurdle nakedmvistar, one I am enjoying trying to overcome! When you have a belief system rammed down your throat from birth it's very hard to let it go. This is why I am trying to raise my son free from any religious programming.


    Edited by - Aztec on 2 January 2003 22:19:50

    Edited by - Aztec on 2 January 2003 22:20:20

  • seedy3

    Hello folks,

    I was born, raised, and married as a JW, but I didn't find it as difficult to leave as many of the stories I have heard here. I pretty much had a whole new set of friends and such when I had made my move to leave and had been inactive for about 4 years before they caught up to me and DF'd me. Heck I wasn't even living in the same state as the congregation that DF'd me. All but one of my siblings had left the Borg before I had, and so I didn't have the family problems many have. My parents were still active right till the day they passed, but they never shunned me, so I actually had it easy. Even if my parents would have shunned me it would not have made it more difficult, I for the most part was ticked off at my parents anyway for interfearing with my raising my daughter and getting inbetween my ex and myself, so I had not talked to them in about 2 years. I guess I was the one doing the shunning.


  • larc

    I was born in 1940. When I was an infant, my father was drafted and served in the military during World War Two in the Philipines. While he was gone, my mother started studying with two of her Jehovah's Witness aunts. By the time my father returned home, my mother was converted. My father came home to a very different wife. After that, they are pretty much allienated. My mother raised me and my sister, and my father worked overtime to take his mind off his home life and provide a little more for his family. While I was raised as a Witness, the rules in those days were softer. I played with wordly kids as a boy, and I had good friends in high school that were not of the Witness persuasion. Amongst the Witness adolescents life was easyer as well. We had parties, where we danced to slow songs and to rock and roll. We were encouraged to date several people to figure out who we might marry some day. Besides that, my mother allowed me to play baseball in high school, go to football and basketball games on meeting nights. Despite all of these deviancies, I pioneered after high school and gave the one hour public talk. I also had a minister's classifcation from the draft board and was eligible to go to Bethel. I thought about going, but did not because I had the hots for the woman I married. We left together and are still married.


    Yes, I was born into the jw faith. It was a horrible disadvantage for me, I believe. The propaganda was internalized in me very deeply. I was in therapy for nine years. I left almost four years ago, through the course of being disfellowshipped.

    It is impossible to stay and almost as difficult to leave. I had to de-program myself - - - tear out all the old beliefs - - - and rebuild my entire belief structure. (An exceedingly painful process) It took me nine years of therapy to examine my beliefs. I didnt know when I was getting into therapy that the jw philosophy was notever going to work for me again. I have lost everything, starting with my marriage almost seven years ago, (because I did not want to be a submissive doormat-of-a-wife anymore). It did not make sense for me to go in service anymore, since I no longer believed the jw philosophy. Instead I saw people of all religions having loving relationships with their families and spiritual experiences within their churches and with their god. These people were happy - - - and I was miserable and lonely.

    Since my disfellowshipping, my children will not speak with me, nor will two "fleshly" jw brothers. This year especially has been very painful. I lost my job, due to layoff. I moved out of my apartment since I could no longer afford the rent. At this present time I feel like I am a pile of ashes. Nothing is the same. I feel so alone.

    Then I remembered the Phoenix, the great bird that rose from nothing out of the ashes to be a magnificent creature! And I know that I will rise out of the jw ashes and I will be magnificent in my new life!

    We all will be magnificent in our renewal!

    ESTEE <-------- of the "still-better-off-on-the-outside" class

    The Phoenix

    A mythical bird that never dies, the phoenix flies far ahead to the front, always scanning the landscape and distant space. It represents our capacity for vision, for collecting sensory information about our environment and the events unfolding within it.

    The phoenix, with its great beauty, creates intense excitement and deathless inspiration."

    The Feng Shui Handbook, feng shui Master Lam Kam Chuen

    The Phoenix Bird

    In the Garden of Paradise,

    beneath the Tree of Knowledge, bloomed a rose bush.

    Here, in the first rose, a bird was born.

    His flight was like the flashing of light, his plumage was beauteous,

    and his song ravishing.

    But when Eve plucked the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil,

    when she and Adam were driven from Paradise,

    there fell from the flaming sword of the cherub

    a spark into the nest of the bird, which blazed up forthwith.

    The bird perished in the flames;

    but from the red egg in the nest there fluttered aloft a new one

    the one solitary Phoenix bird.

    The fable tells that he dwells in Arabia,

    and that every hundred years, he burns himself to death in his nest;

    But each time a new Phoenix,

    the only one in the world, rises up from the red egg.

    The bird flutters round us, swift as light, beauteous in color, charming in song.

    When a mother sits by her infant's cradle, he stands on the pillow,

    and, with his wings, forms a glory around the infant's head.

    He flies through the chamber of content, and brings sunshine into it,

    and the violets on the humble table smell doubly sweet.

    But the Phoenix is not the bird of Arabia alone.

    He wings his way in the glimmer of the Northern Lights

    over the plains of Lapland,

    and hops among the yellow flowers in the short Greenland summer.

    Beneath the copper mountains of Fablun, and England's coal mines, he flies,

    in the shape of a dusty moth, over the hymnbook

    that rests on the knees of the pious miner.

    On a lotus leaf he floats down the sacred waters of the Ganges,

    and the eye of the Hindu maid gleams bright when she beholds him.

    The Phoenix bird, dost thou not know him?

    The Bird of Paradise, the holy swan of song!

    On the car of Thespis he sat in the guise of a chattering raven,

    and flapped his black wings, smeared with the lees of wine;

    over the sounding harp of Iceland swept the swan's red beak;

    on Shakespeare's shoulder he sat in the guise of Odin's raven,

    and whispered in the poet's ear, Immortality!

    and at the minstrels' feast he fluttered through the halls of the Wartburg.

    The Phoenix bird, dost thou not know him?

    He sang to thee the Marseillaise,

    and thou kissedst the pen that fell from his wing;

    he came in the radiance of Paradise,

    and perchance thou didst turn away from him,

    towards the sparrow who sat with tinsel on his wings.

    The Bird of Paradise, renewed each century

    born in flame, ending in flame!

    Thy picture, in a golden frame, hangs in the halls of the rich,

    but thou thyself often fliest around, lonely and disregarded,

    a myth ---

    The Phoenix of Arabia.

    In Paradise, when thou wert born in the first rose,

    beneath the Tree of Knowledge, thou receivedst a kiss,

    and thy right name was given thee - - - thy name,


    by Hans Christian Andersen

    Edited by - ESTEE on 2 January 2003 23:47:9

  • wednesday

    Born and raised a JW, third genration. During my earlyyears, my family was not active, rarely attended meetings, but would not join the "world". So the experience of living in purgatory is not a new one. Eventually, i joined actively & studied with and hurried into a baptism. The teen years were not so bad, I was active, and generally well regarded (unlike my family) but b/c of my family, and not having a proper jw upbringing, well, i was just not a part of "the proper group"I had friends, but the real social climbers shunned me .I lacked a good family, proper upbringing, and we were poor. I married a jw, with much the same background.

    Leaving has been a nightmare. This is the only religion i've ever known. JWS have put a fear of other religions into me.All of our friends are jws, as one who walked the straight and narrow and did not make worldly friends.As i began to see the hypocrisy in the the jws, i spoke out. I was marked. Only a few would assocaite with me. I became depressed and was told i was spiritaully weak.Lack of assocaiton only increased the depression, to the point of suicide. I gave up and just quit living. Finally i found a theraist and after 2 years of working with me, he finally was able to break through the jw mindset. Finally i began to see the jws had done a grave injustice to me and my family. I saw others commiting sins, sins for which i had been discipled, but they walked away scott free. I just one day , after a meeting, got up and said,'i'll never come back". and for the most part, i have only attended the memorial. recenlty an elder asked me to come back to he KH. (the only one in 6 years.) I told him, that when jws apologize for ruining my life, i might consider it. He said i must forgive the elders. Don't think i will. No one has asked for forgiveness.

    I hope with all my heart, that my jw hubby( inactive and depressed) will see the light and leave mentally also. He rarely goes, but mentally he is still there. It is causing a lot of strain between us ,b/c as i learn more about the org, i want to share with him.he is somewhat sympathic to the silent lambs movement, but he thinks it may be jsut a few people and not widespread. He is also fearful with the world situation , that the big A is coming. he does not want to be found opposing jehovah.

    I had a householder tell me at the door once 'if u people are going to be in the new world, i don't want to be there". I sort of agree, if for some reason, this is the org that jehovah has chosen, i don't think i would want to be with these people. If this is the kind of people he chooses , i guess i'd rather go down with the rest of the world at the big A.

    Edited by - wednesday on 3 January 2003 0:9:8

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