I'm the Dad of a Silent Lamb...

by CoonDawg 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • CoonDawg

    I never thought that they could be this dumb. I called an elder in the cong. where my daughter's abuser lives. I began speaking with Brother "Y" (we'll call him). After some initial pleasantries (I am still a brother in "good standing", after all) I asked him if he was involved in or knew of a Judicial committee...before I could finish he said "there isn't a committee, but we are aware of the situation and are in contact with HQ about it." I said....really? Have you notified the authorities. He says "Well, we are still investigating. Right now it's his word against hers. We have no proof"...etc.
    Still remaining cool...(yes, you all can pat me on the back at this point...) I said "So, how long have you all been aware of this situation? I really would like to know so that I have some kind of timeline of events." so he answers..."Well, I'd have to look at our notes to be sure, but 1 1/2 to 2 months ago."

    Obviously, the wheels are turning at this point and I'm starting to get steamed. So, I say to him..."Oh, okay...well, I'm just curious why I, as the girl's father...after all, wasn't brought in on this. You know, I'm only just now finding out about all this. I just figured I'd let you know that I don't really care what you see fit to do congregationally to him. It's not any of my concern, and I coulnd't care less. I will let you know, however that I have no intention of letting the matter drop and I can promise you that I will be pusing this issue from a legal standpoint as far as the law allows."

    After some more departing pleasantries, I hung up.

    I sat there in stunned silence at the stupidity of these men. I mean...didn't they get the same B.O.E. letter that everyone else did...stating that in reporting states they don't hesitate to go to the authorities? Jeez these guys are some sanctimonious self-righteous bastards! My wife (still 'dub) is so mad about it SHE's talking civil suit as well as criminal charges against all of them.

    I'll let you know when I know more. Y'all wish me luck because I'm goin to war!


  • MrMoe

    I am so so very sorry.

  • expatbrit

    Unbelievable. You're in a reporting state and they haven't reported it for two months? And they didn't tell you, the Father?

    I hope you're talking with Kim Norris, buddy! This has law$uit written all over it!


  • Bendrr

    Coon, I'm sorry. I don't know the whole story, but from what I gather from your post....damn. No child should have to go through this and no parent should be made to stand by helplessly. Fu*k the elders and congregation. Call the police. Get everyone with a badge and gun involved you can. If that fails, go find the son of a bitch and put a bullet in his head.


  • Francois

    Death is too good for the bastard. I say emasculate the sumbitch.


  • Kismet

    You didn't mention the age of your daughter but if she is able than she should report this to the authorities.

    Talk with her yourself, and determine what is best for her. If she is too young to make that determination, get her help and you report it yourself. When doing so, you might want to mention to the child welfare folks that the clergy of such and such congregation have known about this for over a month and you only found out yourself.

    Regardless if it is reported or not, whether or not the Society catches crap for this or not, please get your daughter whatever help she needs.

    Her health and mental well-being is far more important than 'getting' the Society. That can always be done later.

    I wish you and your daughter well.


  • RubyTuesday

    So sorry and pissed that you have to go through this.This will probably be the hardest thing your family will have to cope with. I am deeply saddend for your daughter.I am not surprised by what brother Y said to you....not after what we went through. My family had to deal with this also several years ago and it was the worst thing we ever had to endure.Wish I could tell you it will be easy..at least you do have an advantage..with all the recent media coverage . If there is ANYthing I can do ...PLEASE let me know. If you don't know about Kim Norris here is her wed site. http://www.lovenorrisattorneys.com/

    The best of luck. Keep us posted.

    Edited by - rubytuesday on 31 December 2002 20:38:32

  • CoonDawg

    Thanks you guys. I just want you to be assured that Children's Services have been contacted in all 3 states involved and the ball is rolling. If you all have Kim Norris's info, I'd be grateful for it. I tried to get to the Silentlambs website today, but it wouldn't load on my 'puter. My 'dub wife is all for a civil suit as well as prosecuting the elders who are involved criminally. I did tell children's services the names and phone numbers of two of the elders involved. I'd love to listen in when they get that visit. Let me hear how they try to reason away THIS!

    Missouri Judicial Statutes

    210.115. 1. When any physician, medical examiner, coroner, dentist, chiropractor, optometrist, podiatrist, resident, intern, nurse, hospital or clinic personnel that are engaged in the examination, care, treatment or research of persons, and any other health practitioner, psychologist, mental health professional, social worker, day care center worker or other child-care worker, juvenile officer, probation or parole officer, jail or detention center personnel, teacher, principal or other school official, minister as provided by section 352.400, RSMo, Christian Science practitioner, peace officer or law enforcement official, or other person with responsibility for the care of children has reasonable cause to suspect that a child has been or may be subjected to abuse or neglect or observes a child being subjected to conditions or circumstances which would reasonably result in abuse or neglect, that person shall immediately report or cause a report to be made to the division in accordance with the provisions of sections 210.109 to 210.183. As used in this section, the term "abuse" is not limited to abuse inflicted by a person responsible for the child's care, custody and control as specified in section 210.110, but shall also include abuse inflicted by any other person.

    2. Whenever such person is required to report pursuant to sections 210.109 to 210.183 in an official capacity as a staff member of a medical institution, school facility, or other agency, whether public or private, the person in charge or a designated agent shall be notified immediately. The person in charge or a designated agent shall then become responsible for immediately making or causing such report to be made to the division. Nothing in this section, however, is meant to preclude any person from reporting abuse or neglect.

    Privileged communication not recognized, exception.

    210.140. Any legally recognized privileged communication, except that between attorney and client or involving communications made to a minister or clergyperson, shall not apply to situations involving known or suspected child abuse or neglect and shall not constitute grounds for failure to report as required or permitted by sections 210.110 to 210.165, to cooperate with the division in any of its activities pursuant to sections 210.110 to 210.165, or to give or accept evidence in any judicial proceeding relating to child abuse or neglect.

    Ministers, duty to report child abuse and neglect--definitions--designation of an agent.

    352.400. 1. As used in this section, the following words and phrases shall mean:

    (1) "Abuse", any physical injury, sexual abuse, or emotional abuse, injury or harm to a child under circumstances required to be reported pursuant to sections 210.109 to 210.183, RSMo;

    (2) "Child", any person regardless of physical or mental condition, under eighteen years of age;

    (3) "Minister", any person while practicing as a minister of the gospel, clergyperson, priest, rabbi, or other person serving in a similar capacity for any religious organization who is responsible for or who has supervisory authority over one who is responsible for the care, custody, and control of a child or has access to a child;

    (4) "Neglect", failure to provide the proper or necessary support or services by those responsible for the care, custody, and control of a child, under circumstances required to be reported pursuant to sections 210.109 to 210.183, RSMo;

    (5) "Religious organization", any society, sect, persuasion, mission, church, parish, congregation, temple, convention or association of any of the foregoing, diocese or presbytery, or other organization, whether or not incorporated, that meets at more or less regular intervals for worship of a supreme being or higher power, or for mutual support or edification in piety or with respect to the idea that a minimum standard of behavior from the standpoint of overall morality is to be observed, or for the sharing of common religious bonds and convictions;

    (6) "Report", the communication of an allegation of abuse or neglect pursuant to sections 210.109 to 210.183, RSMo.

    2. When a minister or agent designated pursuant to subsection 3 of this section has reasonable cause to suspect that a child has been or may be subjected to abuse or neglect under circumstances required to be* reported pursuant to sections 210.109 to 210.183, RSMo, the minister or designated agent shall immediately report or cause a report to be made as provided in sections 210.109 to 210.183, RSMo. Notwithstanding any other provision of this section or sections 210.109 to 210.183, RSMo, a minister shall not be required to report concerning a privileged communication made to him or her in his or her professional capacity.

    3. A religious organization may designate an agent or agents required to report pursuant to sections 210.109 to 210.183, RSMo, in an official capacity on behalf of the religious organization. In the event a minister, official or staff member of a religious organization has probable cause to believe that the child has been subjected to abuse or neglect under circumstances required to be reported pursuant to sections 210.109 to 213.183, RSMo, and the minister, official or staff member of the religious organization does not personally make a report pursuant to sections 210.109 to 210.183, RSMo, the designated agent of the religious organization shall be notified. The designated agent shall then become responsible for making or causing the report to be made pursuant to sections 210.109 to 210.183, RSMo. This section shall not preclude any person from reporting abuse or neglect as otherwise provided by law.


  • Swan

    Oh Coon! I'm so sorry.

    As if the injury isn't enough they just add insult to it. Of course the parents of a minor child should always be informed! In a reporting state the authorities need to be contacted immediately whenever there is any allegation. Why is that is so difficult for them to understand?

    I know all this because I am in a job that requires me to report allegations. Fortunately I have never had to, but would do so immediately if such an allegation arose. In my opinion it is my civic, moral, and ethical responsibility, not just a legal one. I would be scared to death, but I would do it for the child more than anyone. Always the child's welfare should be paramount.

    My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family.


    Edited by - Swan on 31 December 2002 20:35:34

  • RubyTuesday

    Coon...check my post above yours...also i suggest you tape record any further discussions with the elders and document Everything.

    . http://www.lovenorrisattorneys.com/

    Edited by - rubytuesday on 31 December 2002 20:39:48

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