LETTING GO

by Gig 13 Replies latest jw friends

  • Gig
    Gig

    Some of you might remember that I fell in love with a JW. That was two years ago and now I've decided to let her go. I've done everything I know to do including trying to apply most every good thing I learned since meeting her. I tell you friends I gave it my best. I read as many of their books and mags as I could, I studied with a bunch of witnesses...mostly elders, and I attended the meetings.

    At the same time I was researching the WT history, the bare-bones WT doctrine (in present form), a zillion hours pouring through their "proof texts", and a zillion more just trying to figure out where in hell they got some of their foolish ideas.

    Then I looked at the full on anti and ex witness environment. And finally the whole cult/mind control thing. I don't regret taking on the job of learning, but I do wish I could've condensed it into a few months instead of two years. I feel like so much of my time has been wasted, but I guess I should look forward to the next witness at my door...maybe I can make some use of the truth I have.

    I wish there was a point to make, but since I don't have one I had to start this thread. Even if you don't post I appreciate you reading and caring. I figure now is a good time to let it go, give it to God, and start fresh with a new year. I could use a boost if you have one to offer.

    I'm one of those guys that really tries NOT to use anger to get over a bad situation so my recovery will take longer than it might should. Although some of the crap the WT forces the JW's to so carelessly spew really plucks my butt hairs. The irresponsibility, the unaccountability, the unfounded authority, and of all things the deceit that hurts and even kills too many people.

    It's gotten unhealthy for me to continue studying them, it's taking away too much of my life. I care about them but I'm no match for the WTS, one of Satan's better works. They really do have an answer for everything, however untrue, and they are simply good at doing bad. I wish it stopped there but JW's RELY on their identities as JW's.

    I know the Bible speaks about hate but I've always felt that my little pea-brain shouldn't ever think I had the ability or understanding enough to hate. At this point I think I graduated. I hate what the WT does to what would otherwise be really good people. It makes them distrustful, it makes them elevate themselves above others, it makes them try to shoe-box God's love into what only they are worthy of having, it makes them deny their own God given talents and abilities, it keeps them from doing what the Bible says to do: love. I hate that they aren't taught Christian love. That hurts more than anything. The "one true religion" is the ONE that believes, has faith and trust in God, obeys Him, and understands and submits to the perfect system of grace and eternal life through Jesus. He is God in the flesh and our example to follow. And that the Holy Spirit is our comforter and counselor. That's IT! There's nothing to add. I understand people worship and praise differently but who am I, any man for that matter, to judge what is acceptable and pleasing to God? I can't even judge JW's...but I do judge the WTS to be the leaders of a false religion...no, not completely, I agree with most of their teachings...but what they are wrong about is monstrous, dangerous, and evil...mainly because they knowingly do wrong. Repentance not required of the GB? How about an apology...just one? I've never seen a truly compassionate WT article, they're always about fear. Joy my ass, they make 'em say it enough times and they believe it, just like so many other misrepresentations.

    Well, you can see by now why I have to let her go, you can see why I have to let it all go. I don't remember a single day in the past two years that I didn't pull up some sort of WT/JW site or read some related book. I've gotta be done, please give me a push or a prayer.

    I want you all to know that I feel you. I've read so many posts from people with bigger losses than mine and I really do identify with you in my own small way. You don't have to have been a witness to feel it, that unbearable ache on the subject of God. I've been a fool to try and do so much all on my own, I gotta get humble and start anew.

    I hate the message not the messenger...I hate the WTS................you know, that wasn't so bad, maybe I will try a little anger, I might even deserve to be mad. Even Jesus got mad........hmmmm.

  • siegswife
    siegswife

    I'm sorry for your loss, gig. You must love her alot to put yourself through all that. You are so right on regarding the WTS that I can tell you really put your heart into finding out the real deal. Even though you are giving up someone you love, I 'm glad that you didn't end up being sucked into the cult. You may be losing the girl, but you didn't lose your spirit. That's a good thing.

    If it's any consolation, I can't imagine that your girl is untouched by the effort that you made for her. It may not be apparent, but I wouldn't doubt if you planted the seeds that may lead to her freedom at some point in the future. Even if you never see it, or benefit, you can still hope that your love may turn out to be the catalyst that releases her from the prison she lives in.

    In the meantime, I'm sure there's someone out there who can appreciated a devoted person such as yourself. Keep your chin up.

    Lea

  • Mystla
    Mystla

    Sounds to me like you are making a wise choice. A new year is a good time to begin new things, and to let old things go. Be strong, and know that you are making the right choice, the best choice, the one that is in your best interests!

    Good for you!!

    Mystla

  • JT
    JT
    Gig

    I feel like so much of my time has been wasted, .

    I could use a boost if you have one to offer.

    It's gotten unhealthy for me to continue studying them, it's taking away too much of my life.

    WE UNDERSTAND fully-

    yes wt does waste it's members time, but you have learned something that can't be taken away the ablility to take information and not be hoodwinked and bamboozled,

    you now see the need to use Critical Thinking AT ALL TIMES

    YOU will be just fine

    it is good that you realized the things you have before you became a jw

  • Aztec
    Aztec

    Gig, Have you told her what you just told us? She may change her mind if you do. To lose someone who is so willing to compromise may cause her to rethink her standing in the org. If not, you are still better off leaving that so-called religion behind. It may be one of the healthiest things you do. Good luck and keep coming here if you feel the need!

    ~Aztec

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    WOW Gig:

    you said "I hate what the WT does to what would otherwise be really good people. It makes them distrustful, it makes them elevate themselves above others, it makes them try to shoe-box God's love into what only they are worthy of having, it makes them deny their own God given talents and abilities, it keeps them from doing what the Bible says to do: love."

    You did learn about the jws in the time you studied them! You hit it right on the nail.

    I hope your new year will bring you happiness and contentment. Enjoy your freedom and be glad you didn't get "caged".

    Thanks for sharing your observations and I know you will help plant a seed with a jw where ever you can.

    Hugs,

    j2bf

  • no one
    no one

    removed post

    Edited by - no one on 1 January 2003 7:48:6

  • Gizmo
    Gizmo

    I can't even judge JW's...but I do judge the WTS to be the leaders of a false religion...no, not completely, I agree with most of their teachings...but what they are wrong about is monstrous, dangerous, and evil...mainly because they knowingly do wrong.

    WOW..how true the above statement is..what can one say to such a heart felt sigh......my friend in the long run any man that puts forward so much effort in search of truth is worthy of the TRUE Love he is seeking to gain by it. Maybe it's not this girl, and probably more to her loss...one day and i am as sure of this as i am of the sun rising in the east...you will find your true love.

    Today is the time for healing...tommorow your life begins.

    My best wishes are with you.

    PS: with your permission i am going to print your statement out and read it from time to time...is this ok with you?

    Edited by - elderrepents on 30 December 2002 23:2:0

  • nativenyr23
    nativenyr23

    ((((((((Gig)))))))

    amazingly well said. this will probably be the worst part. the disillusionment of it all. and the starting over. but the good thing is....its a new beginning.

    Much love and admiration.

    Native

  • Introspection
    Introspection

    It's just the difference between 'loving' some ideas and real love, isn't it?

    I think when we really love someone, we want them to be free. The thing is, though, that includes being free to deceive yourself and enslave yourself too, free to deny that freedom. Another way of saying letting go is letting be, letting them be themselves, however confused they are. I don't know your story, but it sounds like you've done about all you can do.

    I read a couple of interesting quotes recently, one says "In marriage, you are neither the husband nor the wife, but the love between the two." and the other is "Love is the meaning and purpose of duality." It's always hard when we identify with one pole of the opposite, even if it's in the name of truth. But if you identify with love, even the sadness becomes bearable, because it is whole. To me, what you did isn't so important, it's why you did it - and that you cannot lose.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit