Okay, I don't even know where to start. I'm 16, I live in a strict JW household and I know if I am pregnant (which Is a big possibility) ..I know I'm doomed to a life of misery. Not because of my baby but because of my family and the isolation and judgement from the Congregation. My life thus far has been hell being a witness, it has destroyed my brothers and sisters including myself. My family is a wreck and no body around us can see it. Nobody believed me when I asked for help. At this rate I can't wait to get away from It all. If I'm expecting a child soon I just expect to be homeless or bullied by my new congregation (even better, I'm moving) and family. I've been feeling like my life has been pointless and over for a while. I've even contemplated suicide in the past. Now I'm possibly pregnant and being taken away from the only people that cared. Can somebody please give me some advice or something that can help me?
I'm 16 and I might be pregnant In a JW household
Do you have any non-JW relatives you know (or know of)?
Are you in the US? I ask so that I can direct you to some immediate help for your thoughts of suicide. Maybe you're past that now but I'm very concerned for you that it might crop up again if the pressure and shunning begin. Please be well. Know that you are worthy, loved and lovable.
You are worthy of Love and care.
NYSweet16, you are a minor so you should be able to receive community support from social service agencies. Is there a kids-help line where you are?
Please, talk to people who can help you with looking after both your mental and physical health. Agencies outside of the Jehovah's Witnesses. I know there are places that can help young women in your situation. Back in 1973, I was 15 and pregnant. I had a baby boy at 16 years of age. I lived in a home for unwed mothers for the last part of my pregnancy.
Good luck. And a big hug.
* shudder *
If your in the New York City Area check out this site: If not, Google the area you live in. There is a lot of help that you will be eligible for:The City provides a variety of services for young people who are pregnant or parenting.
Assistance is available to help young mothers and fathers under age 21 manage their new concerns, take control of their lives, and learn how to provide better futures for themselves and their children.
Assistance is also available to adolescents who have had a miscarriage or whose child was placed in foster care, as well as to the brothers and sisters of the young parent.
To be eligible for this assistance under the Teen Age Services Act, either the mother-to-be, father-to-be, mother, father, or child must be receiving Medicaid benefits.
Case managers can help pregnant or parenting young people obtain the following:
- Public benefits such as food stamps and WIC (the Women, Infants, and Children program)
- Health services for mother, father, and child, both before and after birth
- Abstinence and family planning services
- Parenting skills training
- Job skills training
Get a list of Referral Centers for High School Alternatives that offer educational help to pregnant students.
I'm sorry to read you're in this predicament NYsweet16. If there are people on this planet who can help with advice, it would certainly be some of the ladies on this forum like OrphanCrow who can identify with your situation. The ladies here are imcredibly smart, compassionate and I believe to be genuine.
Might I suggest you PM them should you feel a little intimidated. That way your conversation can be kept private and you would feel more secure.
I am rooting for you as I'm sure most of us are. Be strong, stay calm and have faith in yourself!
Do not try to do this on your own, get help. You will not get help from JWs.
There are lots of people who are willing to help you.
Just do not go it alone.
What a very stressful situation for you.
Ok I know you feel incredibly alone right now but there are many resources for you.
If you are pregnant, have you told the father, if you know who he is?
Planned Parenthood is all over the u.s., and is not all about abortions as some republicans believe, it can offer you support for whatever you decide to do. Also you can get free birth control pills, if you are not pregnant, or for further down the road.
You are almost back in school, or maybe have already started, go see the school counsellor immediately. She can maybe even help you with getting a pregnancy test.
I like an earlier posters question, do you have ANY non witness relatives? Even tho they may seem distant from you they care about you more than you know. If this was my niece, who is a witness and doesn't talk to me, I would let her come live with me as long as she needed. You have support that you don't realize. You ARE a loved person and you WILL live through this, and this baby may be the treasure of your life, if you are pregnant. If not, please be more careful next time, and you are very fortunate to realize the truth about this religion at such a young age.
When you're young and facing these things it all seems so huge and frightening.
You are where a million young mums-to-be have been, and they've all come out of it well. So will you.
Get some proper help and support and make friends with others in your situation so you can help each other.
Sending you hugs, knowing you'll be just fine.