The recent Royal Commission hearings have stirred up my emotions ....

by troubled mind 12 Replies latest jw experiences

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    I hope the Royal commission will be able to force the JW organization to take a serious look at itself ,and will cause some much needed changes.

    I have been following the trial faithfully ,and unfortunately it has dredged up some deep pains from years ago . Do you know how that is ? You think some of that old baggage is neatly packed away never meant to see the light of day again .....but then BOOM there it is again .

    Hearing what BCG had to go through, and how she felt trying to get help from the Elders was heart-wrenching.

    I remember the terrible way young women were treated in the 1970's . I honestly don't think much has changed ...or at least not enough has changed .

    I know what it was like to be a very young impressionable girl (14-15 yrs of age) ,and to sit in front of a committee of three older men being asked deeply personal questions about sexual matters . How humiliating that is traumatizing it is to think these men are directed by God ,but are asking such embarrassing private questions.

    I was not even baptized yet ,but I was a publisher .

    Do you understand what it feels like to be beaten down and disgusted with yourself inside ,and then have this supposed religious leader say to you ,"If you were baptized you would be disfellowshipped ! You show no remorse at all .Don't you care that you hurt your Mother ,that you hurt God by your immoral choices ."..... All of this because I acted numb instead of crying and bawling in front of them . I remember thinking to myself then ,'How dare you assume I have no remorse ! You don't know me ,you don't know what I have been through so far in my life .'

    These men ,my Mother trusted so emphatically as worthy to judge her daughter . This was suppose to be a spiritual healing ?

    They told me that I was now damaged goods ......Yes they actually said 'damaged'.

    They told me that when I dated again that it was my duty to inform any future suitor that I was no longer a virgin ....because he had the right to know . I should be grateful if the young man decided to accept me. ( Yes I really believed I was somehow broken and unworthy .This is how brain washing works)

    These men caused more trauma than they know . They had no right to speak to me that way . Elders then ,and NOW are not trained to deal with these sensitive matters . They are not educated on why young girls that have been abused may act out .They certainly have no clue on how to appropriately address what emotional ,mental problems she may be dealing with .

    When it comes to sexual matters ,and underage children ,they need to leave it to Professionals .

    Hearing the testimonies of these sniveling liars makes me sick ,but reaffirms my belief that they are in a cult . I am so glad to be free of all that now.

    I will go now ,and neatly pack away the hurtful memories ,and move on into the glorious freedom of accepting myself.

  • WingCommander

    Wow.....the way those Elders spoke to you is really F*cked! I hope Karma caught up to them in a BIG way. I couldn't imagine such treatment. Oh wait.....yes I can! ( I was raised in this mind-f*ck of a cult also)

  • wannaexit
    Sending you a hug.
  • Dagney

    I feel you troubled mind.

    Hearing those women's testimonies took me back as well, and left me sad and a little lost for a few days. It reminds me how little female lives matter in the organization as well as the world.

    Back to the WT, I concur 100%. A clergy/overseer class filled with uneducated yes men is what they wanted and that is what they got. Finally the veil is drawn and they can now pay for the arrangement with a damaged reputation, loss of followers and $$$.

  • Oubliette

    It's no wonder you have a troubled mind the way you've been treated.

    Window washers and janitors have no business pretending to be counselors. The damage they cause is untold. Stories like yours give us a tiny glimpse in to the needless trauma JW elders have inflicted on so many people. Multiply your experience by millions and we can just begin to get a sense of it. I have come to believe that this should be criminalized. Sadly it is not. It's certainly a form of abuse.

    The real culprits are the leaders of this cult. Sadly, millions of "elders" believe they are somehow qualified to be "counselors" because they spent a few hours being "instructed" by bigots like Sam Herd and Anthony Morris or an imbecile like Stephen Lett.

    TM, I'm sorry you've had to go through this. I wish you peace and future where your mind is no longer troubled.


    With you in Spirit !

    The greatest Fear is the Fear of Fear itself - you have nothing to FEAR !

  • TheWonderofYou

    Good Luck on your way out into the Wonderful life! former elders educated me insofar....that a hymen , virgen membrane is a blessing of J*H G$D and a sign that girls have to wait til marriage of course, even the creation of de hymennn thus gives widness fo de druth. An inspection certainly would be indicated in a cult.

  • Heaven

    (((( troubled mind )))) The misogyny in the Bible and in religions makes them unpalatable to me and I suspect a lot of women. Religion has a veneer of moral righteousness that when pulled back exposes self-righteousness and abuse. Patriarchy doesn't work and is harmful. I am hoping the Borg gets its a$$ handed to them.

    TheWonderofYou said: former elders educated me insofar....that a hymen , virgen membrane is a blessing of J*H G$D and a sign that girls have to wait til marriage of course, even the creation of de hymennn thus gives widness fo de druth.

    Some women are born without a hymen. So much for elders knowing what they are talking about.

  • under the radar
    under the radar

    Dear troubled mind,

    I am appalled by the way you were treated! If you were my daughter, I'd (verbally) rip those guys a new one and report them to the police for indecencies with a minor. At the very least, that would cause them a lot of trouble and aggravation.

    I am so proud of you for handling things so well and eventually escaping from the cult.

    Good luck to you, and have a great life!


  • Vidiot

    troubled mind - "The recent Royal Commission hearings have stirred up my emotions..."

    Pretty sure you're not the only one.

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