Where do I go for support???

by scaredyetresolved 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Welcome, Scared Yet Resolved.

    For information on how to help your children, check out Amazing's website. He got his entire family out in a gentle and loving way. You have already taken the biggest step, and made a mental separation from the society.

    I take it you know where you don't want to be, but are not sure where you are going. Give yourself time and breathing room. It is indeed fortunate that your partner is alongside with you. As head of the household, why not have him start some independent bible studies at home? Try using the bible alone, and pick a topic that interests you like Love, Family Living, the Beatitudes? Such activity should not rouse suspicion down at the hall, and will give your whole family time to adjust.

  • Latte
    Latte

    Scaredyetresolved,

    Welcome!

    Yes, there are many very loving people on this board, and the 'sound reasoning' of many is...well....just great!

    I too, was brought up in the 'trooth'. My hubby and I, made the break about two years ago, so I can really relate to many of the feeling's which you are experiencing. There were tears, relief, triumph, sadness, extreme happiness at realizing that the FEAR which had been instilled from being a child....was lifting. Relief that I will not have to put my kids through what I went through.

    Two years on, many things have changed. Life is precious, more so than I ever realized before.

    Could you let us know if you are in the UK/US?

    {{{{{Sending hugs and peace your way!}}}}}

    Latte

  • bay64me
    bay64me

    Hello scaredbutresolved.

    You said you were aching inside for your kids. I can almost feel the anguish in your post.

    L.B. made a good point about you and your husband both leaving together. That is a bonus.

    I am taking the same journey as yourself with my children but not my husband.

    No pearls of wisdom to offer you i'm afraid, but I know you will gain strength and momentum as you keep coming here and reading others posts. I have found this site to be very valuable to myself, both in gaining insight and just the sense of knowing that I am not on this journey all alone.

    Hope to hear more from you.

    Bay64me.

  • Sentinel
    Sentinel

    Wow,

    You are definitely at a turning point. I would seriously consider making a physical move...the entire family. Start the kids out in a new school, with new beginnings and new friends. Establish yourself in a new neighborhood and make new friends. I don't know how tied down you are to your present employers, but perhaps you could make a change.

    This will be shaky grounds at first, but you just need to just go places and meet people. Normal people. People that are not actively connected to JW's.

    I sure wish you all the best. You have made a very wise decision for yourselves. Change is difficult, but it always seems to turn out so well in the long run. You are free now. There are no restrictions, only those you place upon yourselves. If you have unfulfilled dreams, rethink careers and start over. If you still have young children, that is a real possiblity.

    This forum is a great place to be, and we welcome you.

  • Dogpatch
    Dogpatch

    Hi scared,

    You might also consider help from an expert exit counselor such as Steven Hassan. He is doing a seminar in Los Angeles in March:

    http://www.freeminds.org/exitissues.htm

    There are some good files to consider at:

    http://www.freeminds.org/psych/psych.htm

    and also:

    http://www.freedomofmind.com

    Randy Watters

    http://www.freeminds.org

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    Mouthy:

    Which is your audio on the site?

    Country Girl

  • Farkel
    Farkel

    cruzan,

    : Believe in the loving God of the Bible and the mercy of Jesus Christ and realize that they will not judge you harshly, as the Witnesses do.

    There is so much wisdom in this statement. The simple fact that the leaders of Jehovah's Witnesses have anointed themselves as judge, jury and executioner over people's lives betrays the very Christianity they claim to exclusively represent. They are too arrogant to even acknowledge this basic and simple fact.

    scared,

    You will find a family here you could never find in WatchtowerWorld. Likely you will make genuine friends for life if you stick around for a while.

    I've been out thirty years. Nonetheless, you can leave the Watchtower, but the Watchtower never leaves you. Recovery is a life-long process. The damage done by the Watchtower to people is permanent. One can only mitigate it.

    Once you realize this, you can begin the journey of recovery and will be less likely to blame yourself on the bumpy road ahead.

    I offer my best wishes to you and yours as you begin to build your lives anew.

    Farkel

    Edited by - Farkel on 19 December 2002 12:50:3

  • Focus
    Focus

    What everyone else above said (with Farkel's taken twice), plus:

    scaredyetresolved wrote:

    I am really aching inside for our kids

    Of course. Now brace yourself. And that is exactly why getting away from a Mind Control Cult founded on and crafted on and run via a set of LIES, DECEPTION and WEASEL-WORDING must be done as soon as practicable.

    Before it damages the kids (further?).

    Would you think twice of removing your kids from a source of disease? The spreading of Watchtowerinsanity has all the hallmarks of a contagion.

    That is not to say most JWs are bad. They are not. But they are vectors for a particularly disgusting form of illness that destroys families better than does any other "big-numbers" cult/creed.

    Here is an insight. 95%+ OF THE PURPOSE OF THE SHUNNING DOCTRINE IS TO PREVENT WHISTLE-BLOWING. Who else practises shunning, eh? And what does that tell you? Keeping the congo clean, rubbish! Keep truth out, that is it instead.

    And beware allowing any unsupervised contact between your kids and the disease-carriers (which is not to say be unkind to the disease-carriers: you were of this Class until recently, right?) unless you want poison to be delivered. Remember, they will think they are saving your kids, not screwing them up.

    The Watchtower fulfils the scriptural criteria/definitions, however much it shamelessly denies this, of:
    1. An Anti-Christ.
    2. The Disgusting Thing.
    3. A False Prophet.
    4. The Great Whore of Babylon.
    5. A Liar in God's Name who speaks with Arrogance and Extreme Presumptuousness.

    The Watchtower makes God into a Lying Whore for whom they Pimp.

    The Watchtower Society and the Jehovah's Witnesses Cult is an embodiment of SPIRITUAL PORNOGRAPHY, a WOLFISH TRICK, a MOST FILTHY LIE, a CHEAT, a SCAM, a DISGUSTING ABOMINATION, a BLASPHEMOUS INSULT, a WICKED FRAUD, a DISGRACE, a SCANDAL, a PEDOPHILE PARADISE - and a DAMNED OUTRAGE from start to finish.

    Here, find a little of my work:
    http://www.freeminds.org/history/part1.htm
    Read it and laugh at what utter fools the Gibbering Baboons of Crooklyn have made of you with their make-believe terror "Gawd" and their endless lies and prevarication.

    "LAUGHTER IS HEALING, AND SELF-SUPPORTS. IT IS THE BEST MEDICINE."

    It is FULLY IN ACCORDANCE with the teachings of the WATCHTOWER Bible &
    Tract Society (WTBTS) for every member of JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES to Carefully
    Study the LIST mentioned above, which comprises truly fine scriptural food
    from its own publications. Remember the WTBTS told you to confirm whether
    what was taught by the WTBTS was in harmony with the Bible - and if not,
    not to circulate it {WT Mar 1 1894 repr p1629}, to confirm WT teachings
    against the Bible {WT May 1 1934 p131}, to invite critical examination of
    your faith {WT Aug 15 1950 p263}, that, far from being wrong, it is your
    duty to examine religion to see if it is true or false {WT Nov 15 1963
    p688}, that you should actively examine your own religion {The Truth That
    Leads To Eternal Life 1968 p13, a WTBTS publication}, that you should check
    and examine BOTH sides of a matter {Awake! Oct 22 1973 p6}, that your
    religion was in no way afraid of being exposed to scrutiny {WT Aug 1 1978
    p12}, that you should to be willing to submit everything to scrutiny
    {Awake! Aug 22 1984 p22/28}, that you should not have a closed mind {WT Nov
    22 1984 p3-4}, that you should actively refer to the older publications {WT
    Jun 15 1985 p12}, that all people are encouraged to examine other religions
    and with an open mind {WT Apr 1 1991 p17} and that you are encouraged to
    exhibit freedom of thought {Awake! Jun 8 1994 p21}. So, please follow this
    advice of the WTBTS, and study that LIST very carefully. "You will know the
    Truth and the Truth will set you free."(John 8:32). Fine advice indeed!

    THE LIST IS PRODUCED IN DIRECT RESPONSE TO A RECENT REQUEST BY THE WTBTS in
    {WT Dec 1 1990 p19}, where it quotes {WT Dec 15 1914 p377-8}: "If any one
    knows anything better, let him take it. If any of you ever find anything
    better, we hope you will tell us." Kindly, Prominent Bethelite has duly
    obliged. Having read it, if you find the WTBTS has ever told falsehoods,
    follow the WTBTS advice clearly given in {WT Dec 1 1991 p7} "A religion
    that teaches lies cannot be true."; if you find the WTBTS has even made one
    false prophecy, follow the WTBTS advice clearly given in {WT Feb 1 1992 p3}
    "Beware of False Prophets!" - and cut yourself off from these Foul Cheats.

    --
    Focus
    (Anti-LIARS Class)

    Edited by - Focus on 19 December 2002 14:14:7

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    May I just add my words of support and friendship. The other posters have said it all. You will not be scared for long.

  • NewLight2
    NewLight2

    Someone mentioned having your husband start independent bible studies at home using the bible alone. Here is a good outline to use.

    A Bible Study Outline
    http://www.geocities.com/newlight_2/BibleStudyOutline.html

    You also ask for suggestions on how you could begin to celebrate the holidays - why not try doing some holiday baking that matches your Cultural Heritage. For instance, Germans, Swedish, and Norwegians all have very distinct cookies and other backed holiday recipes. Search the internet for information and holiday recipes. Here are just a few I came up with.

    Cultural Heritage Holiday Links:

    http://www.holidays.net/christmas/

    http://www.rats2u.com/christmas/christmas_recipes.htm

    http://clipart.usscouts.org/ScoutDoc/Holidays/dec_holi.pdf

    If you want to begin making Christmas memories this year, you could begin by having your kids bake and make decorations that matched your cultural heritage.

    Hope this helps,

    NewLight2

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