were you forced to give up your fleshly family

by nightwarrior 12 Replies latest jw experiences

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  nightwarrior

  Please take note.

  When i first started studying with jehovahs witnesses ,over a period they lead you to beleive that your family are serving satan ,therfore hidden pressure is put upon you to ditch your family ,if your weak you will do as you are told but as allways they make you think your doing it for god,its so they can start to control you slowly ,your familys gone your old friends are gone you have nothing else be warned then comes the reliance upon every single word the elders say to you hypnotismn comes allso through the literature ,

  i kept my family at a distance i never allowed man to dictate ,pluss i had no opposition from my family in times of need i was there to support my greater family and now i still have them if needed why make yourself miserable.

  THANK GOD I NEVER BOWED TO THE PRESURE OF RELINQUISHING MY FAMILY TIES
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  Beck_Melbourne

  No I was born into it. But I know people who converted later in life and so they consequently followed the WT teachings and reduced the time and energy normally invested in non-jw family things.

  However, on the other side of things, I gave up my jw-fleshly family when I left the borg. They were all baptised and active dubs, all except one brother...and so my jw relatives would say 'she's gone to be with our other brother on the DARK side'

  Their stand has relaxed a lot since then...its just a matter of time and they will all be on the DARK side .... muuwaaahhahahahaha!

  ~Beck~
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  shera

  Yes,very slowly.When I began studing I lived with an inactive family,the people who introduced me to the meetings...( why did I listen)

  They were a nice family tho,but they smoked and drank.When I was living there,some "loving" brothers and sister would say suttle things about my sprituality(sp?) I moved out because I felt they would put a damper on my relationship with Jehovah.I moved back with my mother and a few yrs later they started with my mother...She is one of the best people in the world...she is soooooo GOOD!So I moved out with my daughter..quit school ,went on welfare(how stoopid..didnt need an education...blahhhhh)

  Had to keep me away from my "worldly" mother...lol When I think of that word...worldly...how stoopid it sounds to classify people like that.
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  jurs

  No, I was never pressured or encouraged to give up my fleshly family but I saw others who did. Maybe it was because my fleshly family lived 800 miles away and I wasn't closely connected with them anyway.

  One thing that stands out in my mind in reguards to this subject is how so many witnesses made a point to go to meetings and out in service when their family from out of town came to visit. I knew of seversl situations where a sister would miss occasional meeting to go ride horses but made a big production about how she wouldn't miss a meeting when her husbands mother came to visit. I knew another sister who went out in service generally on just Saturdays, but when her or her husbands fleshly family came to visit she would be out and brag about how she was out even though she had company!!!!

  jurs
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  yard dog

  I was born into the Catholic religion but my mother converted to Jehovah's Witnesses when i was about 6. I can remember it being all out war as my mother attemted to convert her brother as well(she was successful). Within a short period of time my mother had alienated her longtime boyfriend,all friends and family and adopted the KH as her new home. She remarried not long after coming into the "truth" and waalaa a brand new life. I've been disfellowshipped for 17 years now and I have seen my mom once in the last 5 years. All I can say is that I could never do to my children what my mother has done to me. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom beyond what words can describe but I struggle daily with this. Its always there and it takes work for me not to let hate take over. Maybe someday love will win out-I don't know.
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  Dia

  I always felt they had a LOT in common with criminals of domestic violence.

  You prove my point.
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  Scully

  The JWs have a very clever, sneaky way of convincing a person that the Devil is responsible for any friends or family rejecting their new-found religious convictions.... very often it's never stated openly to cut off those relationships, but the ever-present "danger" of "bad associations" is pounded into the person's brain over and over and over to the point where the new JW makes the decision to detach themselves from outsiders all by themselves. Nobody ever holds a gun to the head of their Bible student and says "You can't talk to your [mother/father/sister/brother/next door neighbour] anymore unless they become a JW too." It's never overtly "forced". But it is an expectation, and your level of spirituality is measured by how closely you live up to the expectations.

  Love, Scully
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  JohnR

  Beck,

  Funny you should mention the "Dark Side". I usually refer to my JW brother as having gone over to the "Dark Side". I guess it is a matter of perspective.

  John
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  jws

  I was born into it, but we were never close to any of my aunts or uncles. Until the past couple of years, I couldn't name more than about half of my cousins. Both of my mother's sisters were JWs, though one lived out of state. The aunt in-town was the only one we visited regularly, hence the cousins I know the best.

  My mother's 2 brothers I remember liking as a kid (they were always friendly and making us laugh). But growing up, I hardly saw them. Some cousins I remember meeting for the first time at my mother's funeral. My mother explained once that her brothers were having marriage problems, so we didn't go visit much. This was true enough and maybe that's all there was to it. I always suspected JW reasons, but I may be wrong. I'm still convinced JWs played some roll, even if a small one.

  At my wedding, I got my uncle's e-mail address. Since then all of my aunts and uncles have come on-line and even though we're scattered in 3 areas across the country, we're coming closer together. I'm even in touch with some of those cousins I never met until age 18.

  After making contact with the out-of-state aunt, I was afraid she'd ask whether I was still JW and our reconnecting would be short-lived. Turns out, both her and her children (who were real into it last I remember) have all dropped out 8-10 years ago (that's how long it's been since I've been in touch). And she tells me the other aunt back home dropped out too!

  Starting with and including my parents, 14 people became JWs in my family (some through birth). Since that time, 2 died JWs and now only 3 are left. Tracks pretty well with the 2/3rds fall away figure I saw quoted once.
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  ozziepost

  were you forced to give up your fleshly family?

  Yes, about 60 of them. Or should I clarify, they did the "giving up", not us.