So, I became very ill ... what did my loving brothers do?

by EdenOne 32 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • EdenOne

    Recently I have fallen ill with a serious case of chickenpox (shingles). Three weeks down, high fevers, and the blisters attacked mostly my scalp and face, but then also my whole upper body. I looked horrid, truly like a mutant monster out of a nuclear disaster. Then, some other complications followed. While I'm recovering and back to work, I suspect my face won't be left without a significant amount of scars. So much for winning that beauty pageant...

    As you know, after my JC I have become inactive, and I don't go to meetings anymore. Last one I attended was this years' memorial. Through my wife I keep getting messages to the effect that the brothers miss me a great deal, etc. But now, through my wife and Facebook, it was known in my congregation that I was ill. So, what did my loving brothers do?


    Apart from two sisters (one in another country) wishing a "get better" on Facebook, there wasn't a single phone call, email or text message. A couple of brothers / sisters, during phone calls with my wife would sometimes inquiry about my well-being, and asked my wife to relay their get well messages, that was it. They could have called if they wanted to, as they also have my number, but they never did. My CO holier-than-thou brother-in-law not once called or inquired about my well-being. My wife's sister only started asking about me when my wife questioned in her face after a long phone call to discuss other family matters "well, aren't you going to ask anything about my husband or wish for his recovery?", and she was caught by the comment because she wasn't even going to touch the subject.

    No Elder from my former congregation or from my wife's new neighboring congregation bothered to ask anything or even offered to do a "shepherding call", or even bothered to call or text message or email or Facebook. They absolutely shun me as they would if I had been disfellowshipped. Which proves that they outright LIE when they write on their official website, under the FAQ - "Do Jehovah's Witnesses Shun Former Members?": "Those who were baptized as Jehovah’s Witnesses but no longer preach to others, perhaps even drifting away from association with fellow believers, are not shunned. In fact, we reach out to them and try to rekindle their spiritual interest."

    B.S. I say. I had "wordly" clients who, when they heard I was ill, picked up the phone, called me from overseas to know how I was and gave words of encouragement. One even took the initiative to send meds for me from overseas. These are truly compassionate people - not the plasticky, "feel-good-about-myself" fake friends, fake brethren from the congregation. Hurtful was to listen to my wife defend them, saying that I shouldn't expect any other treatment because I was the one who decided to leave the congregation. WTF, one cannot win against this mentality, can it?

    I remember the irony of the words of Jesus in the parable of the lambs and goats: (Matthew 25) : "Then He will also say to those on the left, Depart from Me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the Devil and his angels! For I was hungry and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger and you didn't take Me in; I was naked and you didn't clothe Me, sick and in prison and you didn't take care of Me.' "Then they too will answer, Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or without clothes, or sick, or in prison, and not help You?' "Then He will answer them, I assure you: Whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me either.'

    Funny how it never crosses her self-righteous minds that this fits them so well.


  • Tazemanian-devil

    I feel for you man. Whenever my wife tells me so-and-so said to say hi, or ask me how I am, I always respond "They have my phone number, don't they?"

    To which she just laughs, and changes the subject.

    These poor people simply do not have the capacity for compassion. Their brains have been washed clean of any substantial emotion.

    Hang in there, glad you're feeling better.

  • Oubliette

    Chicken pox sucks, especially as an adult. I know, I got them when I was in college.

    Glad you're better. Sorry you're getting yet another lesson that JWs are not what they really claim to be.

  • notoneoftheboys

    This is a worldwide problem. If you are in the elite group then you will get limited support. If you are in the R&F tough. I was sick with a fractured leg in plaster, reg mtg attender, reg in service but not elite. 6 weeks went by the only call I got was for my field service report. No elder MS or anyone else asked me if I needed anything, the catholic family next door did more for me in a week than my so called loving brothers did in the years I was there.

    The elders did come round to find out why I had grown a beard in my time away from the meetings when I explained I had a face rash from the painkillers the reaction I got was have it shaved off before you get back to meetings. So where is this worldwide brotherhood??????

  • PaintedToeNail

    EdenOne-I am wishing you a SPEEDY recovery from a painful condition!

  • EdenOne

    Yeah, it sucked big time. And it deals a blow on your self-esteem when your face is left heavily marked too. I took a selfie during the early days of it, and when I show it to anyone, no one can even recognize me at first. But yes, it's another lesson on how JW's aren't even close to what they claim to be. As if any more lessons were needed. The upside of this is that, when you go through it and experience it yourself, it strengthens your determination to stay out of it all, because it's not just hearsay. They don't know what compassion really is because all they know about being compassionate to others is to bring them the "good news of the kingdom"...

    noneoftheboys - that's an astonishing lack of care, even though you were an active witness. wow!

    Thank you for the get well wishes. I still find it hard to do much anything, as I get very tired easily, but I'm on the mend.


  • brandnew
    Take two of these..🍺🍺 and call me in the morning.☺ get well soon friend.
  • brandnew
    @ not 1..... I think its very girly, for man to tell another man to shave.....i dunno....just awkward.😂assholes!!!
  • Dumplin

    Dear Eden - It must be horrible to go through that. My son-in-law just went thru it and it left him scarred. My wife keeps hounding me to go get my shot, so after your reminder, I think I will. Thanks. Hope you're doing better now. But then to be IGNORED in your hour of need is unexplainable. I think we picked the wrong religion, man. But at least you had SOMEONE who showed concern. Many of us don't.

    In the movie St. Vincent (2014) - after bill murray lost his wife, his friend came over and said, "sorry for your loss". bill murray replied, "I never understood why people said that?" His friend said, "they don't know what else to say". Bill said, "how'bout - what was she like... do you miss her... or what are you gonna do now?" ...the friend had no reply, but after a long pause, Bill told his friend: "do yourself a favor - Get a Life, and stop living mine." Good advice for all exJubs i think. We can't expect anything from them and we already know that.

    I too feel isolated most of the time from my JW family - like I'm not really even welcome . And I spent the best decades of my life doing hard manual labor to provide for them, raise them, listen to them, read to them, play with them, nurse them back to health when sick, put up with their sassy attitudes as teenagers, & on and on....

    I remember when my wife and I lost our full-term son a week before due-date (a knot in the cord), I felt I should tell someone. So I called one of our elders from the hospital to inform him (and the cong). The first thing out of his mouth was: "He probably won't be resurrected" (and then went on to explain the WT understanding on that). I coudn't BELIEVE it. I trusted that brother with my heart in my hour of need - and he let me down. I told another elder about it sometime later and he just dismissively said: He probably didn't know what else to say ( like the old "they're only imperfect men" excuse). So - there you go. Make of it what you will. But we both know the WT is NOT making followers of JC. Too many accumulated experiences like yours and mine to just pass it off.

    Normal humans show compassion. Jesus did. I told the CO when I left the cong that I'd been here since 1973 and had RARELY felt Jehovahs' spirit. He snapped back: "THAT'S A SERIOUS ACCUSATION" in a very threatening manner. I just looked straight at him calmly and shook my head yes w/out saying a word. He looked sheepish. He KNEW i was right.

    Take care of yourself, Eden. We suffer together.

  • Tornintwo

    Don't forget they shun to show their love and motivate you to come associate with them again (lol), I bet you're dying to go back to the meetings now!!

    shingles is horrible and very painful. Rest as much as possible because it can come back if you don't recover properly. Also me and my mum in law both found the homeopathic medicine rhus-tox very beneficial in treating and preventing reoccurrence, it's cheap too. Get well soon x

Share this