So there was a fish swimming along...

by Zoos 16 Replies latest social humour

  • Zoos

    ... and it bumped into a concrete wall. You know what he said?


  • Village Idiot
  • cognac
  • Sabin
    there was these 2 ugly blokes who couldn't get a shag. they went to all the bars & clubs & yet no joy, the girls didn't want to know. so they decided to split up. The next day over a beer bloke 1 said "well, I got no joy & it wasn't for not trying. What about you" bloke 2 said" well I thought my night was gonna be a waste of time, then on the way home I found this girl with a body like heaven tied to the railway line. So I untied her took her home & warmed her up. She was so grateful that she gave it to me, in any position I wanted. It was amazing". bloke 1 said "I don't believe it, how lucky can you get, did she give you a blow job?". bloke 2 " she would have except I couldn't find her head.
  • Sabin

    I`m so sorry if I`ve offended anyone. My husband told it to me & I found it so funny I nearly peed my pants.

  • apostrate


    That is sick!!! You know any other good'uns??

  • Pete Zahut
    Pete Zahut

    A Grasshopper walks into a bar and the Bartender exclaims,

    "Hey Grasshopper....did you know we have a drink named after you ??"

    With a puzzled look on his face the Grasshopper asks, " Why would anyone name a drink, Larry ?? "

  • apostrate

    Why was the blonde standing in the kitchen staring at the orange juice for over two hours?

    Because it said "CONCENTRATE" on the label.

  • Driving Force
    Driving Force

    A piece of string went into a pub and asked for a beer.

    The barkeeper asked, "Are you a piece of string?"

    "yes" said the piece of string.

    The barkeeper looked at him sternly and said, "F*** off, we don't serve pieces of string here". So off he wiggled to the next pub.

    He went up to the bar and kindly requested a beer.

    The barkeeper looked at him suspiciously and asked, "Are you a piece of string?", "yes" was the reply.

    "Then piss off, pieces of string are not allowed in here." So off he wiggled out of the pub.

    He was wiggling along the road and he stopped at the corner of a building, he tangled himself up into a knot and rub himself against the corner of the building until he was straggled at the edges.

    He wiggled his way to the next pub, went up to the bar and asked for a beer.

    The barkeeper looked at him and asked, "Are you a piece of string?"

    "No, I'm a frayed knot".

  • Zoos
    "No, I'm a frayed knot".

    Ouch! :)

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