I cried for the past

by joelbear 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • joelbear

    I cried for a long time today, very deeply, sobbing heavily for those I have lost in my life. Mostly due to Watchtower rules.

    I am developing a new set of bear friends and look forward to good times with them.

    The suicidal thoughts have subsided.

    I have never really tried to make a concrete set of friends here. I think its time to do so. Many have reached out. I hope some of these will turn into lasting friendships.

    If I can just keep my head from turning around and looking back. Maybe the pillar of salt Lot's wife turned into was in truth made up of her tears.



  • waiting

    Hey sweetpea,

    Keep looking to the sunshine, it works, even if the warmth from it comes slowly over our bodies. It will warm you and refresh you.....but you gotta get out in it first.

    ((((((((((((((((((warm hug to Joel Bear))))))))))))))))


  • freedom96

    Hang in there.... there is an awesome life ahead of you. Go out and surround yourself with some real true friends.

  • riz

    (((((joelbear))))) i'll be your friend!

    here's something to cheer you up.

    love, riz

    Research has shown that if Hoss is your favorite Cartwright then:

  • You enjoy a pleasant and calm environment.
  • You dislike tension and conflict.
  • You prefer natural to artificial.
  • Gentle, relaxed, and self-assured, you are capable of being everyone's friend
  • You are relatively conservative and appreciate beautiful surroundings, especially in nature.
  • You are natural and easy-going.
  • You try to bring relief to stressful situations.
  • You are attracted to the outdoors. You have a refined sense of beauty and find the most beautiful sights in nature.
  • You are calm and try not to "rock the boat".
  • You can be very productive when focused on a course of action.
  • You are uncomfortable with undue attention. You prefer to let others take credit for good deeds and to remain anonymous.
  • You fight for what you believe in.
  • You are a loyal friend.
  • happyout

    I know exactly how you feel. I was in for almost 20 years, and leaving meant I lost most of my lifelong "friends". Plus, my family is still in, and devoted. I am happy to say that the new friends I have made have been wonderful, and I won't lose them if I decide to change my religion. That's how I know they are true friends. When someone loves you for you, regardless of your beliefs, that is a peaceful and wonderful feeling. Feel free to write me anytime, at [email protected]. I only check e-mail a few times a day, and never at night or on the weekends, so don't worry if I don't reply immediately. But I promise to answer as soon as I can. I hope you will find comfort in the love and support I have found on these boards.

  • Bendrr

    Hey big guy glad to see you back.

    Start counting friends you've made with the replies to this thread. We're yer peeps bro!


  • WildHorses

    Joel, I've known you since my very first day in the AOL chat rooms. One thing I know about you is that you have always proven yourself to be a very kind hearted person.

    I have one thing to ask of you. Do not be afraid to let people get to know you. Try not to put up that wall you seem to put up all the time. You are a loveable person, so open up enough to let those new friends see that. OK? Once you do, you will see that it is also easy to return that love.


  • Mary

    Hi Joel;

    I'm glad to see that you seem to be doing a bit better........crying for those who were part of your life in the Borg is absolutely normal - especially knowing that this isn't the "one true religion" like we were always taught. The hurt will be with you for a long while, but the best part is discovering that there is a whole world of potential friends out there, who don't judge someone by their religious beliefs. There are alot of good "worldly" people who can prove to be good, solid, reliable friends who won't abandon you on a whim.

    I'm fortunate in that I have an outgoing personality and make friends easily.......I find that taking courses at a college, getting involved in voluntary programs, going to a different church (not sure if that's on your agenda or not), and social clubs at work, can all help you meet new people and make new friends.

  • LyinEyes

    That is really great Joel that you are going to seek out new friends, to me it has been such a big help. When I was a witness, I didnt have many friends and really felt I didnt need them. We were in a rural congregation with some very old folks, whom I loved, but there wasnt much interaction. We were the only young ones in our congregation and the only ones with kids too. The kids were very lonely, and I never made them stop having kids to play with in the neighborhood, thank God.

    Joel, you will probably always cry at times for those you have lost, that is natural and actually says alot about you. It seems so easy for some of our blood relatives to throw us away because of the WT, but at least it makes us feel better that we would not be that way. We can't make people love us or even make them choose between us and the WT, we all know who they will usually choose.

    I have been so hurt over losing my mom and dad, that I was living in the past and crying all the time, I got seriously depressed and couldnt see what was right in front of me. The family I have now, has always been there and will always be there, I see that I have enough in this house to make me happy. I am moving back to a little town that we lived in for years and the kids will be back with all of their friends and I hope to try to make some new friends with my neighbors that I never associated with before. Maybe I will even go to a church to socialize with some of them, I just feel a need to be around more people too.

    I thank God for my friends here, and without them, leaving the JW would have been almost impossible. They gave me strength, understanding, friendship, advice, and have listened to all my crys. This is something new to me, I never had such unconditional love as I have now.

    Keep up the forward thinking Joel, and don't feel too bad if you cry still for those you miss, you will from time to time, and that is ok. As long as you make at least 3 steps forward and one back every now and then, you are still moving on , and that is what matters.

    Hugsssssss and wishing you all the happiness in the world,,,,,,,,,,,,dede

  • wednesday

    Oh u made me cry-he was such a nice and loveable person. I was so sad when he died.

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