If You were God? (page 2)

Smoldering Wick

IF GOD WERE A WOMAN...

Sex would smell like chocolate

Farts would smell like roses

Dogs would smell spring fresh

Babies would come from vending machines

Men would be born with a permanent erection

All women would have the same size breasts

There would be no cellulite

Every food on the planet would be FAT FREE

Men would be born with an "OFF" switch

There would be no "Tittie Bars"....Male Revue would continue

Every man's paycheck would be made payable to his wife

All menstrual cycles would be replaced with a 5-8 day vacation in Hawaii

Men would inherit the menstrual cycle

Men would come with software to be custom designed

Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location by wife

Men would have built in lie detector on forehead for instant verification of truth

Men would be intelligent enough to tell the difference between six inches and three inches

Sex would last longer than 30 seconds

Foreplay would not be a quick slap on the fanny and a kiss on the cheek

Viagra would be an over the counter drug

SmolderingWick, I have a few thoughts about your choices. You say, 'Men would be born with a 'permanent erection' and then you say, 'Men would be born with an 'off' switch and 'Men would be intelligent to tell (I assume you mean to admit) to tell the difference between six inches. Sex would last longer that 30 seconds'.

Would you kindly explain the 'permanent' erection and an 'off' switch also lasting longer than 30 seconds. OK, so his 'ding a ling' isn't six inches but at least it doesn't look as though he has a coat hanger bulging from pants whenever he's walking around, especially if he's giving an hour talk. As for the 3 inches, they say 'it's the motion in the ocean' that counts. How could sex last ONLY 30 seconds if a man had a 'permanent' erection? Your describing a dangerous 'critter'.

Guest 77

Realist

conclusion: the bible is huge pile of BS

breeze

Guest...

I think she just described a vibrator...??

BREEZE

JH

Lets go back 6000 years now. Who sinned first? Adam and Eve? The first sin to me, came from the spiritual world. Didn't Satan tempt Eve, when he took the form of a snake. To me the first sinner, which is Satan, should have immediately been taken care of, right there. Waiting over 6000 years, and making innocent victims, is why people don't believe in God's justice and love.

Buster

Life would suck for everyone - 'cept me

Iwasyoungonce

I don't need to be God. And a god can not "give" people happiness who have free will. They have to choose to be happy. They have to be greatful for today. To many people are not. So not much would change. (If I were)

Having to worry about the afterlife is a bitchly stupid of a way to live this one.

God can be God as I am going to be me. I do not want to be anyone else. Not even God.

If You were God?