I hope this is a friendly place
Thanks, Patio34. I have not revealed anything to him yet, and am trying to keep on as much of an even keel as I can for as long as I can. I am scared stiff, about everything. Right now it is the middle of the night and I cannot sleep from worrying that I have revealed too much in my messages here and that somehow it will boomerang on me. I came in to edit and delete things I was too worried about. Someone mentioned a rollercoaster. How do I get off this thing? I feel like I have become what the WT says, something evil that complains and beats his brothers. It is all very distressing.
I thinking human mind is not evil. It is one of the wonderful gifts that God gave us. To use it can be scary, but God will not condemn us if we do. Hang in there brother.
please don't think that you are evil. you are certainly not evil. the wt would like you to think that, of course, but rest assured it is not true. you are simply an honest hearted one who can't go on believing the lies that you have been taught. trust me, i have been there and i know what it's like to have a conscience that is racked with guilt. but that is how they try to control you, by indoctrinating you with guilt and fear tactics. once you know in your heart that you are a good person, and you don't need an organization to be close to god, (if you choose to believe in god), your fear will subside and you will begin to think more clearly. you will begin to form your own conclusions and that is so very liberating. and it's not wrong, either. it takes time. lots of time. but the outcome is priceless. please don't let them suck you back in. you've come a long way already. we are all here for you. you may email me if you wish. i am a good listener. take care, truman.
Thanks larc and riz. I sometimes am a reasonably intelligent and sane person. But fear and paranoia founded or unfounded, that is where I am at this moment. I appreciate the encouragement, and of course you are right. By the way, just to clear up any confusion which may be caused due to my user name, I am of the female persuasion. I chose the name Truman because I identified so strongly with the movie character in the Jim Carrey movie, "The Truman Show".I see so many reflections of my present struggle in that story. I was not trying to be fooling anyone. Sorry if there was any misunderstanding.
I have noticed with new people coming here that are in transition, that they are real nervous about making a mistake and feel they have to aplogize for something. You don't have to say "I'm sorry" about your name. You are accepted here, and a slight misunderstanding is not a big deal to us, so just relax and enjoy the new experience.
I think all of us hear can relate to what you are going through. I was totally paranoid before I da'ed myself. It was a big step but it helped me move on and begin a new life.
You do whatever you are comfortable with. Be true to yourself. It does get easier with time.
Take care of yourself, we are all rooting for you!!
Hi Truman ,
You're going through the stages I felt.I'm sure it has happened to all in the same circumstances.It is all about the fear and control they use to keep you in but,believe me,it is worth it to feel free and the control they had over you withers away.You can breathe freely again,choose wisely,and live your life.....Listen to the advice from others who have immediate family.I'm sure it will help you in the long run.You are not beating anyone,it is the Org that will treat you differently.But it is better to live a real life and know the truth....
Almost Thirty Years,
Our heartfelt kongratulations.
ANOTHER success story.
You make me feel better. I only pulled 20!
Yeah, as another poster, Trevor put it:
be TRUe to yourself, MAN.
Mommy Watchtower is on Life Support.
Do the Right Thing and Pull the Plug!