I hope this is a friendly place

by truman 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • truman


    I hope this is a friendly place, because I could sure use some friends. This is my first try at posting on a discussion board, though I have been lurking here and at a few others on the same subject for a few weeks now. About 4 weeks ago I took the plunge and decided to see just what all the mystery and danger of reading "apostate" material was all about. It was a "revelation"! In just about 2 hours of reading, mainly at the Freeminds site, almost 30 years of "faith" evaporated before my eyes. I had taken the red pill. The curtain had been pulled aside, so that instead of the great and powerful, I percieved only a funny little old man pulling my levers. I was stunned and am still reeling. Most days I barely make it through. And I am in agony about what to do about my son. The one who always did just the right thing and what was expected of him. The one who pioneered out of highschool, went to Bethel, and is now a MS in our cong. I have a BOOK STUDY IN MY HOME! My best friend is the presiding overseer's wife. Where do I go from here?

  • zev

    First of all....
    I joined here in February...and have come back many times a day to read whats going on. We have alot in common. 30 years plus here also "in". This is for the most part a nice place. Emotions can flow strong, on certain subjects, but there are alot of kind and understanding people here who are seeking truth, understanding, and support. And many who will help. My eyes were opened by this : http://www.silentlambs.org Check it out. And then I read a book by a former governing body member, ray franz. Crisis of concience. Its a good read. Check it out. Tell us your story, and I hope you find what you want. Your new life has just begun. I know...Because mine has also. Again, welcome...

    Sitting on the Wrong Side of the Fence Class

  • expatbrit

    Hi Truman:


    You'll find this an interesting and thought provoking forum. There are a LOT of very nice people who come together here to support one another and enjoy the freedom of unfettered discussion. We can get a bit tetchy at times, but hey, that's real life!

    Where do you go from here? Once the emperor is revealed as having no clothes, the only way is forward. Forward to freedom and responsibility for yourself. But, like a lot of us who have family still in the WT, the way best way forward is probably gradually.

    Sometimes I find myself bursting to tell my wife and family all of the things I'm learning about the WTS. But I cannot, since that will merely close them off, make them put up defenses I cannot breach.

    So take things slowly, one day and one step at a time.

    Again, welcome to the board. I look forward to your future posts!


  • patio34

    Hi Truman and Welcome!

    I just started posting here recently.

    I reached the fork in the road, oddly enough, from watching the movie "Dinasour" with my grandson a month ago and haven't been to a mtg since. I just thought those terrible creatures did not harmonize with Gen. 1:30 where all living things eat vegetation.

    Well, I called my jw sister long distance and asked her her status. She left a year ago! Due to her kind assistance and box of books, I have been doing much reading and spending time on the Internet.

    I love your references to taking the red pill! From the movie "Matrix"? And finding a little old man pulling the levers.

    I have found this to be a very kind, supportive group and it has meant so much to me to TALK to people who understand my doubts. When you're a jw, who can you discuss doubts with? Can you imagine a car group reaction in service if you said "I really wonder whether evolution is possible" or "Do you really believe the world is going to end"?

    So, welcome and keep in touch. I've found more fellowship here than in the last 18 years as a jw.

    Patio (: (That's meant to be a smile!)

  • Had Enough
    Had Enough

    Welcome Truman:

    You are among friends here! I too have been over 40 years in the org. from birth, and have a daughter doing all the "right" things too. Pioneering from high school, married a pioneering brother, still pioneering etc. We understand how easily all that you knew, believed, lived, breathed just evapourated.

    Many, many of us were or still are in you position, and welcome you wholeheartedly. I sat on the sidelines for a couple of weeks before having the courage to join in fearing rejection but have found only the opposite. You are only beginning on your road to discovery. Friends here advised me I'd be on a rollercoaster ride for a while but just to give it time and the pieces will fall into place. If you have questions, comments, jump in. You'll find help, support, encouragement and love.

    Take comfort in all your welcomes!

    Had Enough

  • Prisca

    Hi Truman,

    welcome to the DB.

    You are certainly not alone in your journey, and at this site you have discovered many fellow travellers. We are all at different levels of learning the truth about the "truth" so you will read and learn much here.

    As you have only just begun your journey, take it slowly. You have family in the org, as do many of us, and it's a fine line to tread. Don't rush in anything. Take everything one step at a time, while you sort out your thoughts on things. It is a long road ahead of you.

    And you're not alone.

  • larc

    Welcome Truman,

    I have been coming here for four months, though I've been out a long time, and I find this to be a really good community of people. I think you will get good advice on any problem that comes up.

    I know it's tough when you have family, and I agree with the advice given to take it slowly. The best advice I've heard was by Peter Gregorson. (When you read Carisis of Conscience you will learn about him). At a conference he talked about what he did when he was in your situation. He did not bring up doctrine or argue. He would plant seeds of doubt by saying that he was puzzled by something to get his family to think for themselves about different issues. Slowly, over time he was able get his family out.

    There are no guarantees, but I think this is a good approach. Also, I think it is very important to demonstrate love for your family especially when there is conflict and/or disagreement.... some thoughts to consider.

  • truman

    Thank you all for your kind words of welcome! Patio34- I am glad someone(you) got my movie references. Zev, I have the book you mentioned on order to arrive any day, along with several others. I am also reading R. Franz' 2nd book "Christian Freedom" , and have spent many many hours reading online as well. I am sure you are all correct in saying that gradually is the way to go. I have to work on it. I would very much like to tell my story as Zev suggested, as I have found writing to be very theraputic. Please excuse the newbie dumb questions, but do I do something like that in "Main" or is there someplace else that is better etiquette-wise.

  • Farkel

    : Please excuse the newbie dumb questions, but do I do something like that in "Main" or is there someplace else that is better etiquette-wise.

    No question is dumb when you don't know the answer. Ask away! And, welcome!


  • Gopher


    Welcome home. This is the place to help you know that what you feel is real & valid, and so it helps you "move on" to a more free, meaningful, productive life!

    I'm fairly new here. Like you, I lurked uncertainly before joining in. But people have taken me in. Little 'ol me.

    So have no fear. You can "be yourself" and be welcome here. (I know we sometimes have to 'put on a show' as JW's. Couldn't really be yourself, love & friendships were CONDITIONAL.)

    So continue on with your wit, maybe you will be the one known for making eclectic references to movie scenes! Whatever your style is, it will be a welcome part of the mix.

    p.s. For some reason, when I first saw your name, I thought of Jim Carrey's "The Truman Show", and how he broke free from his totally controlled existence. Sounds like you're climbing up that ladder to the outside world!


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