A First Date

by Dutchie 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dutchie
    Dutchie

    Its been almost two years since my husband passed away. I never really though about going out with anyone romantically until just recently.

    I was born into the truth. I married a brother when I was 17 years old, had four children, pioneered and later became inactive and enrolled in law school. I never really dated in the true sense of the word. And it never dawned on me at anytime that I would ever date a worldly man.

    Worldly men were something to be feared. Something to be avoided at all costs. All men who were not Jehovahs Witnesses were after the sisters for only one thing. They were all demonized and any sister who ever associated with them romantically was doomed for sure.

    All of these warnings had been instilled in me since birth. Lessons learned that early in life are not so easily unlearned and I was a good pupil. Even during the years I went to school I was a married woman with children so it was easy to thwart all advances with the explanation of my status. Lately though it hasnt been so easy to turn men away because I dont really have a good excuse any more and I think it would sound strange if I explained that I dont trust men who are not or who have never been witnesses. It was even hard admitting this to myself.

    Anyway, I decided to take the plunge.

    There is a lawyer that I see all the time in Court and he always makes it a point to compliment me on my appearance and to chat me up for a few minutes. Last Friday he asked me out by saying that he had tickets to a play on Sunday and if I wanted to go. I hesitated. I was nervous. Then I decided that I had to take the plunge sometime and so I said yes. The play was Sunday and so I spend all day Saturday practicing how I would call him up and cancel. I must have picked up the phone 20 times to make the call, but finally stuck with my decision to go.

    Well, guess what? I had a wonderful time and my companion was marvelous company. We saw Hairspray and then later ate at Mars 2010. It was rather a weird restaurant with Martians serving the food but we had a lot of fun and I laughed a lot.

    My date, even though a worldly man did not offer me drugs, did not suggest a sexual orgy and did not invite me to partake in satanic rituals.

    I feel like Ive broken a barrier and now I can envision myself living a life completely free from the witnesses.

    Yes, there is life after leaving the organization.

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    " My date, even though a worldly man did not offer me drugs, did not suggest a sexual orgy and did not invite me to partake in satanic rituals" (but did you offer him those things???)

    Glad to hear you are getting out and about, Dutchie. Loved reading your account. Keep us posted when you do get to your first Satanic ritual, k?

    Hugs,

    j2bf

  • PopeOfEruke
    PopeOfEruke

    Dutchie, nice post!

    Satanic rituals are ok, just be careful not to let any chickens blood spurt on your dress....

    Pope

  • Dutchie
    Dutchie

    Joy and Pope,

    Very funny you guys!

  • Solace
    Solace

    Dutchie,

    This is so sweet! Im glad you had a good time!

  • crownboy
    crownboy

    Happy to hear that you had a good time, Dutchie.

    Obviously, the JW mindset can be hard to break after many years of indoctrination (for you, a life time), and also your having to deal with your husband's passing probably had something to do with not dating for a while. Hopefully, you'll have more positive experiences to come. Besides, all the stuff you mentioned only happens on the second date .

    I'm probably going into the legal profession myself (undecided on exact field). Did you get any flack about going to law school as a JW? What type of law do you specalize in? Is it in the for profit or government/ non profit sector?

    As always, I enjoyed your post.

  • Joyzabel
    Joyzabel

    In all seriousness, Dutchie, you make some very good points about the mindset of being raised in the WTBTS. It takes time to learn to trust people or trust your instinct about people. We never developed that skill because it was always "us vs. them".

    I'm glad you made the first step and had a wonderful time. Trust yourself, Dutchie and have fun.

    Hugs,

    j2bf

    doh! still can't spell.

    Edited by - joy2bfree on 4 November 2002 23:33:7

  • COMF
    COMF

    Yaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy Dutchie! Welcome to life! Glad to have you join us.

    And with that said, let me just add:

    did not offer me drugs, did not suggest a sexual orgy and did not invite me to partake in satanic rituals.

    Ah, but Dutchie, some will, some will. Be prepared in advance. Life in the real world demands use of those "perceptive powers trained to distinguish right and wrong" that the society worked so hard to intercept, deaden and replace with its own directives. It doesn't mean they were right about the world, it just means there are, yes, people in it who do those things.

    Hope you have many more happy dates. Congratulations!

  • Dutchie
    Dutchie

    Thanks Comp. I appreciate the encouragemnt. Yes, I know some probably will, but to be forewarned is to be forearmed and I won't let anyone talk me into anything I don't want to do.

    Crownboy, I work in a firm that practices general law. That means that we will do almost anything that we can charge a fee for.

    Thanks Joy and Heaven, you are both such wonderful women.

  • hamptonite21
    hamptonite21

    Enjoy your self!

    Are you from NY? I live on LI.

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