When talking to someone who never was a Jw, and they say to you how could you ever fall for all that?
It does bother me, cause I think it is some what condescending?
How do you feel about these questions?
Do you think its talking down to you?
by WildTurkey 25 Replies latest jw friends
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DakotaRed
WT, I too think it is condescending. They haven't a clue how any, even they, could fall for it. Many of us who were found by the dubs, were at a low point when they found us, I was. Their packaging of God and salvation sounds wonderful, at first, until we realize the cost involved and the false packaging.
When asked something like that, I just reply that my crystal ball was out for claibration at the time and I couldn't consult it. Then, I remind them how grand 20/20 hindsight is, but that doesn't change matters. What is important is that we wake up and get away from the nightmare.
Lew W
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maximumflash
Personally, since I am a "never been", when I ask anyone that has been a JW a question about the religion, I ask it so that I can try to understand where that person is coming from. I usually try to look at it from there shoes which is hard for me sometimes since I have never worn them. But, anytime that I bother anyone on this board about the questions that I may ask, please let me know and I appoligize in advance if I offend anyone.
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xenawarrior
WT-
Anyone who was never a JW who would say something like that is just plain insensitive!!!! I have never been JW but I can still empathize and understand. IMHO, someone who would ask such things is being rude.
My 2 cents
XW
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DakotaRed
Max, you've never come across in a condescending manner that I've seen.
Lew W
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WildTurkey
Dear Max and XenaW, I did not have yall in mind at all when i made this post. You two are great.
And Lew you hit the nail on the head.
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freedom96
People making those comments, even if they are sincere, are speaking out of ignorance. There is no way for anyone to truly understand unless they were in our shoes.
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Lin
No one can truly understand what it's like unless they've been there themselves. Just look at Steve Hassan as one example, and his story of being recruited into the Moonies. He said himself that he never imagined that HE could possibly be lured into something like that. I was born and raised into it, rather than being approached at a "low point" in my life. Dubs are taught to ask questions and look for areas where the "householder" is possibly in need of encouragement or help, and they use that to their advantage; all it takes is one minor comment, someone is ill, someone just died, someone can't find a job, etc and Dubs jump right on it painting a picture that anyone would find appealing. The world is full of cults, with lots and lots of members, and they don't even know it.
I can't recall a situation where I felt like someone was being truly condescending, but I have been asked, "Why don't people just leave?" Which brings up a long conversation, which sometimes I tire of. I just try to help them understand how no one can truly understand what happens unless they've been through it themselves and tell them how fortunate they are that they were not lured into it. If you've never experienced something personally, like a miscarriage, wife abuse, etc then there's no way for true understanding.
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xenawarrior
(((WT)))) thanks- I knew that- and thanks.
It just irritates me that folks would act like that in the first place. Like ex-JW's haven't been through enough already!!!
While we're at it though, there is something that I see here sometimes that puzzles me. The way that some folks who have been JW will look with such disdain at people believing the same things they once bought into so totally themselves. To me, people who used to live in glass houses still shouldn't throw stones. Just MO though.
XW