Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 10 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work.
Get a copy of the written review, run out screaming "Bill, Bill I've got the secret documents!!"
Make paper airplanes out of the written review. Aim them at the elders left nostril.
Talk the entire way through the written review. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the elder is.
Bring cheerleaders.
Walk in, get the review, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the School Overseer, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every meeting! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular School Overseer ?"
Bring a Game Boy (or Game Gear, etc...). Play with the volume at max level.
On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
Bring pets.
Run into the Kingdom Hall looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the School overseer, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
Fifteen minutes into the review, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the review. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
Do the review with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.
Come into the review wearing a pair of birkenstocks, and nothing else.
Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the review. Be as vulgar as possible.
Bring things to throw at the School overseer when he is not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
Walk into the review with an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the review. Try to get the elders to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the them to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the review.
Get the review. Twenty minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.
Arrange a protest before the review starts
Show up completely drunk.
Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. When the elders asks why, tell them in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
Comment on how sexy the School overseer is looking that day.
Come to the review wearing a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
Bring a water pistol with you. Nuff said.
From the moment the review begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the Elders requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
Start a brawl in the middle of the review.
Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.
Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the review. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.
When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.
One word: Wrestlemania.
Bring balloons, blow them up, start throwing them around like they do before concerts start.
Try to get people in the room to do the wave.
Play Frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.
Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the review.
Edited by - WildTurkey on 1 November 2002 10:46:23
Edited by - WildTurkey on 1 November 2002 10:48:9