by joelbear 25 Replies latest jw experiences
Good to hear from you joel. I don't know the solution for a predicament like yours. I may have something similar. It's so hard to let go. I know that there are easy outs: other cults, drugs, suicide, compulsions. It seems that the way to continue is to live a day at a time, like a child, in a way. If it's any comfort, that is the type of living that enlightened eastern gurus talk about.
Best wishes
SS
I just wanted to start this post of,as I am fine and I have dealt with it.When I was a JW,I was forced to have sex with a non-JW.To keep the story short,I went to the elders for some support and comfort.I felt guilty and ashamed for what happened.They asked me if I screamed and fought.I said no..a lot but he still kept doing what he wanted.I knew the guy enough to know he was a jerk and he had no problems hitting a females.There was circumstances going on that we had to be around each other and he abused that moment to do that.He was angry at his woman and drunk.
Well back to the story....they told me where I didn't scream enough and fight him enough.I sinned and to ask Jehovah for forgivness.I was like fine and went home...that was another reason I left the JW's.That hurt..I thought these men were suppose to give me loving counsel but thery just made me feel horrible and that mabey I was asking for it.I know I didn't,I said no. Like I said I am strong and have moved on.
((((((((((((((((((((((Joel))))))))))))))))))))) Hang in there hun. Tell your doctor to see about changing your prescription until he finds one that works for you.
My wife had a stoke a month ago. No, it isn't fun, but she and I have to go on from where we are. For either of us to bemoan the situation and whallow in self pity will do no good. The only thing that will work for us is to go on from where we are and make the most of the situation. That is true in everyone's life. To stew over what happened and what could have been is not healthy. I would suggest that those of you who regret your past to forget about it, and make the most of your present and your future.
Hugs to you Joelbear !!!
jurs,
Joelbear
You sound as if you are in a very black place and I am sorry for what they did to you. You, and the young man you were, deserved better. When I was in therapy my psychologist used to tell me that the universe is divided into good and evil. Evil rejoices in your pain and if you attach your feelings to that part, then you will continue to experience it again and again, never escaping. However, good grieves for your pain. She told me once that even the walls cried. Good heals and nurtures.
I can empathize a little with you. You see, all my life I've been the outsider, the nerd and the weird kid who's off by himself. I've also been in that black place where you seem to be right now. But after 6 years in therapy, some medication, a great woman and lots of pain and tears, I was able to claw my way out. I discovered I wanted to live and prove those bastards wrong. I still have bad days, but not like it used to be. If I can do it, so can you.
Realize and believe that there are others, including many here, who love you for the person you are; warts and all. Perhaps if you can draw yourself forward, instead of backward, the black place will not trap you so often. It won't change what happened to you, but it might affect how you feel about yourself. Grieve for the life that could have been without letting it overwhelm you. But keep your focus ahead and on the person you want to be. I hope I haven't offended or hurt; if so, I do apologize. Please, take care.
Peace
Chris
Do you have a doggy Joelbear?
We were never jws, but we live next to them and they hate us, with a smile. But it didn't just happen once, it's ongoing, and they are about as upsetting as the law (rather, the enforced law) will allow. You see, we were catholics, on paper. Of course the whole thing upset my wife no end, she had worked for years to start that home, and so then she didn't have that baby, which really grieved her mother, who then died of cancer, and I went through the process of questioning everything, and whether or not it would be best kill them so they couldn't do that shit to someone else, etc etc, there's more, but that's a picture...........evil pervades.
BUT, the Lord gave us this little doggy, who is our little ball of undying friendship, who loves us and loves us, and we are learning to live more now, despite that issue. I have changed carreers to a job where I get to help the sick all day, which is sooo fun, and whilst we didn't know a lot about God and religion, an overwhelming sort of spirituality is pervading us, and yada yada yada. They still do that wicked shit, which I suppose is upsetting.........but you should see the face on our little doggy! It's enough, and it kept us together, and we can move into something else, some other life, long or short as it may be - we have no idea-we don't want to - some of that's the fun.
paduan
Edited by - a paduan on 25 October 2002 4:13:0
So sorry to hear of your story. Many of us have suffered these feelings, I was on medication for years suffering from depression brought on by the guilt I was made to feel. I know no-one is perfect, but I was constantly striving for some perfection in everything that I did. People took advantage of me alot with this. When I to look back I see how I was drawn in to all of this, and it still hurts to see how used I was.
Now years later down the line, sack the medication, sought help, was on ward after ward. Finaly my thoughts are in order, alot stronger, take no nonsense from no-one, and most of all my personality is on track. My best quaility, my humour was stifeled in case I said a word wrong, or something that someone may take as an offence. I am happy now. I hope and I am sure that you to will regain this happinessCherish what you have now, try and forget what you may have had in the past. If you do not, it will screw you up more, and they are still wining. In time people will take you once again as they see you, and you will get back more than you lost. Take care of yourself. You are not on your own. Lisa
((((((((((((((( Joelbear )))))))))))))))))
