Yes, I was born-in. By JW parents who were JWs about a dozen years before I was even born. So it's all I knew in my formative years.
Smart is not just a self-delusional opinion. I am a member of a famous high IQ organization that I won't mention so it can't be searched on and used to identify me.
I feel my particular expertise is in math and logic (IMO, makes me a good programmer). Yet it wasn't me that came to any of these logical realizations about JWs. I had a curiosity about Franz's book and apostates in general. A worldly person and I watched a show about JWs where I could order Franz's book at the end and I was encouraged to and did. And it smacked of the truth and I decided JWs weren't special and left.
Granted, this was before the internet and search engines. So it's not like I could have just pondered a question and gotten very far. Research is time consuming and some things difficult to find like Franz's book. I'd probably give up before finding answers. There was no google. Even in the early days of the net, some info was scarce. In any event, it took somebody else (Franz) showing me it was wrong. Ulike others (even born-ins on this site) who said "this doesn't make sense" when they were still teens or younger. It was me just going along and accepting BS, not actively searching.
Losing faith in the Bible was somewhat easier, but a lot was due to others. By that time, the internet was around and Noah's ark got me thinking and I started to research that and read more. And things started to fall like dominoes. Although again, I must admit, a lot of the reasoning came from others and I just saw the truth in it. I am proud of things I saw on my own though.
I just can't get over that I never pondered these thoughts before. It took help. It took being taught. If I had never encountered Franz, when would I have left? Would I have? I've got to admit my curiosities about "what were the apostates saying?" would have been satisfied by the time the internet arrived. And being a programmer, I would have ignored bans on the internet just like I did about college. So I would have looked and would have found a way out.
And I know it's somewhat a matter of jealousy and self-pride. Me thinking so highly of myself yet so oblivious.
OnTheWayOut, I love reading your posts over the years and have a lot of respect for your wisdom and point of view. And feel we might be similar in ways. I do feel you're right. A child trusts and learns what their parents teach. It's probably a survival instinct. I realize how I got in. It's just why did I believe for so long?
Parents were a big influence. It was just something I never questioned. Maybe for me, like soap, I had a brand and didn't have to think about it. Maybe I didn't care. I liked people telling me I was in the "right" one. And I know I felt lucky about that. If I'd been born to other parents I wouldn't be JW. I'd be in a "false" religion.
Don't worry about me, I think it's mostly behind me. My father and mother have passed away. Most of my family that was in are out, except for my sisters. Neither of which I've talked to in about 5 years. When my father was alive, that's the most contact I've had with it. I think for some people the fact of being a former JW stays for life and that's why I check in here (and for signs of it's demise).
It's just that nagging feeling that I could have used my wits to get out sooner. Don't get me wrong. I'm not sitting cursing myself daily, "oh why didn't I see this when I was 10"? It's just a curious thought that comes up from time to time. And something I ask myself. But, whatever turns the journey took, I am where I am now. And I'm OK with that. A sort of, wish the past was different, but can't change it, so learn for the future and to help others.
