The good thing about working is that I must move one foot in front of the other - and for 8 hours a day, I'll be too occupied to think about this.
I don't like it when the time falls back an hour. This part of the year is never good for me (in the memory department). But I'll be working night shift, working in a brightly lit place, and that's another plus. I'll come home, be with my pets and my daughters, and then sleep. Go through the motions that makes life what it is.
I'm presently washing dishes and making thanksgiving dinner. The day will follow it's path toward evening, when I will study a three inch book for an assessment tomorrow at work. Life goes on. It will just feel incredibly raw for awhile.
It isn't that I never saw this coming. Lloyd has been in his own world for a good year, but when I got the job, he treated me like gold, and now I know why. And it isn't that he won't ever be in my life again. He knows parts of me that I will never tell another soul, and he strongly wants to remain friends. Thats a good thing. No hateful parting. Just sadness. I hate it when there's hate and vengence on a parting of soulmates.
I"m just going through the motions. Just... really sad. If you love something, set it free... if it comes back, its yours...
it's always something aint it?