spiritual conversation with an elder yesterday

by ugg 25 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  ugg

  i am writing this more for myself than anything..it just hurt so deeply..

  my hubby has been an elder for 20+ years..my status is baptized,,no
  meetings, association ect for over one year now..

  we were watching the news,,and Pres. Bush was talking about the U.N.
  with genuine concern and in all honesty i stated that i did not know how
  the witnesses could be involved with the U.N.??

  Hubby responds>>> there are not!

  I stated>>> yes they are,,,they were involved for over 10 years??

  Hubby states>>> that was only so they could use the United Nations
  Library...they needed to sign so they could get a library card..

  I asked>>>How do you know this????

  Hubby glares at me and states>>>BECAUSE THATS HOW IT WAS EXPLAINED!!!

  our conversation ended...he did not know the answer,,did not try to
  reason,,and did not care one bit about my concern...

  where is he today???? out of town giving a spiritually uplifting talk
  to a congregation!! (PUKE!)

  PS.. thank you,,,i just wanted to vent..
• 

  Windchaser

  Ugg, all I can say is that it must be very, very difficult to be married to a jw and feel the way you do. He is so blinded (as we all were) and just accepts things, without question, that are so unreasonable. And, all you can do is keep quiet and let him.

  Love to you,

  Dottie
• 

  CornerStone

  Sorry about your problems Ugg,

  I'm kinda opposite you. My wife was born into the "troof" and I've been inactive for over a year now. She's feeling sad cause I won't go to meetings and stuff, but I can't go back to a world of ignorance no more. Even if I wanted to.

  If you stay strong, he'll come around, in time.

  CornerStone
• 

  LyinEyes

  Ugg, you are in a bad situation, it must be hard.

  I am glad my hubby got me to see the truth about the JW doctrine and all their lies.

  What really hit me hard , when I finally looked at what was coming between us, ( apostate material) I was shocked. I was a die hard JW, but I was sympathic to how others who were d/f or not JW's may survive armeggedon. Even as a witness I thougth surely God will be just and not kill everyone but JW's.

  The first thing my hubby showed me that shocked me was Russell's paremids, the measurements he used etc. My jaw hit the ground. I was raised JW and never looked back at those old magazines, and thought My God, what am I into here.

  We have only been out a year, and d/a for just a couple of months, but I never would have thought I would be where I am today. Good thing too, for I was a miserable JW, I was never a good enough JW in my own eyes. So I am thankful my husband , used the JW's own literature to get me to open my eyes.

  Maybe you can get your hands on some old stuff , the really ridiculos stuff( ok all of it is, but some of it is way out there , like demonized baking disihes, ) and simply ask him about it.

  Ask him why they thought that and where can you find a retraction to what was said, just keep planting seeds of doubt in his mind.

  That is what my husband did and it worked. I for one started to use my own mind, even thou he put the doubt there. If he would have told me to read an apostate site, i would have balked and ran. He was slick ,,,,,,,,,,LOL..
• 

  ugg

  jjrizo,,,,
  my hubby is abusive,,,but mentally not at all physically...i could bring him "down" in a minute...i have a tape recording of one the spiritual
  abuse "sessons"....he would be disfellowshipped for a long time should
  i ever reveal it...

  why don't i do it??? i am not physically or mentally in a position to
  be on my own..also,,,i do not wish to hurt my daughter...it would be
  devistating to her...

  i am under a doctors care,,and in therapy,,,i have improved so much...
  although the progress is slow,,,it is non the less,,progressive..
  some day,,i would like to walk out the door,,as a whole person,,and
  be me,,,with a new life...

  will,,that day ever come??? i do not know..but for now,,i still need
  him...i am 50 years old,,lots of physical health problems,,mentally
  not strong,,ect ect..you get the picture...

  how is he still an elder??? hahahahahahaha...god, that is so funny!!!
  it is a very small hall...he is very "popular" (everybodies friend)
  he tells them i am violent and mentally ill...they believe him!! he
  is "doing his best". he is faithful,,and after all,,he is not
  responsible for a "crazy persons actions"...

  ok,,i am really venting today...i don't do this often,,you think this
  is bad,,,you should hear me in therapy!!! but it is so nice to talk
  here and with a therapist because there is no punishment,,,

  i am very truthful...so it is a nice "release" for me...thank you.
• 

  ugg

  thanks lyin,,,,i am just having a crap day today...(PMS) thought i would go public with it!!
  
  i have been married almost 30 years,,,,not all of it bad...but truth wise it has been a nite mare!!!

  is it me?? is it him?? is it what the organization teaches?? doubts,,guilt,,,insecurities,,more guilt,, seems like a damn roller coaster from hell...i just cannot take it...i do not know how he cannot understand??? all that matters to him is,,"the organization"...nothing else exists>nothing!!

  i cannot go back to it...i threw my book bag out today!!! mad me feel better..i do not mean to whine and cry so much,,,,i am just,,,,yadda yadda,,,i know you understand...thank you. tomorrow will be better...."sigh"
• 

  Been there

  ((((((((((Ugg)))))))))

  Vent away Ugg. It may help you feel better, physically and mentally. Feeling alittle trapped are you? It can cause a great deal of frustration. I speak from experiance. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Best Wishes to you.
• 

  back2dafront

  *biggest, warmest hug EVER to Ugg*

  excuse my french, but the shit women put up with pisses me OFF. All these so-called "elders" "spiritual men" blah-blah-blah make me SICK.

  I'd love to walk into that Hall, look him straight in the eye and say, "Your wife told me ALL about the way you treat her, PUNK."

  Think that would scare him?! :-)

  take care my friend,

  jay
• 

  ugg

  i already feel better...thank you all so much...rough day,,,but then everybody here has them...how

  can you have anything to do with witnesses and not have bad days!!
• 

  LyinEyes

  Ugg, you go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  LOL, at you enjoying throwing away your bookbag. Such a little thing, but such a big thing, I know.

  I guess I am having a day like that too. My sister is ill, and most of it is deep rooted saddness and she doenst even know why. We were raised JW, but she never gave her life to it really, unlike me who did it all. But we are in the same boat as far as trying to figure our childhoods and how to move on. She is going thru alot in her marriage and her hubby just doesnt know how to deal with her , she doesnt tell him everything. I think because she doenst know herself . But she has called me alot this weekend and brought alot of emotions of our dad , to the surface again. She is to have surgery for an ulcer problem and has left me her will. God, what that religion has done to so many, mainly in her case, the religion itself didnt hold her, but it sure did our dad and he is hurting us all because of it. She and I don't even want him notified if we die. So she was telling me all this , this weekend, and so I am venting too. Just don't know what eles to do,,,,, but vent until we feel better.

  I am lucky and yeah I mean damn lucky to have a husband who is with me on every level. I feel so sorry for my sister and for those whose husband/wife are entrapped in the JW.

  Hang in there Ugg, and vent all you want and take great pride in the small defeats,,,,,,,,like throwing that damn bookbag away........ maybe go burn the live forever book....... might even make ya feel better.......... hugs,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,dede