Welcome.
If you are in fact a teenager, get occupied with your education and getting set up financially in the world prior to making any quick decisions on leaving the Org. Get as much education as you can.
SL
Im ready to leave
by SpunkedTeen 35 Replies latest jw friends
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OneEyedJoe
First off, I'm sorry to hear that you've lost your father, that's difficult and really complicates the process of waking up from this cult. If you do (and it's your decision, and one I would encourage you to consider thoroughly) tell your mother what you've decided, it might be beneficial to state explicitly that you're not abandoning her personally. This might be difficult to hear because the cult has been designed such that she will take it personally, but it will probably help to be said outright.
I too would encourage you to seek higher education once you graduate highschool. It's tremendously valuable in exposing you to different ways of thinking, along with different cultures and philosophies. It'll also give you a good chance to start making new friends and building a support network, which you're likely to need in the coming years (assuming that most of your existing friends/family are in the cult as is often the case).
You know your mother better than we do, so only you can tell when the right time is (if ever) to tell her that you want out. I suppose it also depends on how much of the cult you can put up with in your life. If you expect that she'll withdraw any financial support for your education or housing, then it might be wise to wait a little while if you can.
If you were baptized as a minor and never pioneered or had any special privileges after you turn 18 (sounds like you're not going to be doing any of that anytime soon haha) then it might be worth looking into trying to get your baptism annulled. There's some information around here on some that have done this and it might be worth looking into (I haven't looked into it much since I was baptized at 19).
Lastly, I think it's important for someone just learning TTATT and summoning the strength to do something about it to remember that you can trust yourself. So much of the cult is designed to instill self-doubt, and it's tremendously damaging. I wish you the best of luck with this ridiculously difficult situation.
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freemindfade
Since you are baptised take a deep breath and take some time. You have to deal with this with patience and precision. -
FayeDunaway
If I was you I wouldn't tell my mother yet. Just slack off with witness stuff little by little. And occasionally try to ask questions to get her to think. This will make her worry, but won't completely break her heart all of a sudden, and who knows you might help her start thinking.
I am really sorry you lost your father.
As I said before, use your last year in high school to do the best you can, save money, and talk to counsellors (there are way too many ways to spell that word and I don't know which is right and am unwilling to look it up!)
Definitely get involved socially in school this last year. Heck even try to go to prom if you can. Start living your life. But be very gentle with your mom.
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steve2
Hi Spunked Teen. Time is on your side. Fading is the way to go. I can imagine the sense of family obligation you feel, especially having lost your father and your concern about your mother's wellbeing.
Even in nonreligious households there can be tangles of obligations and guilt over appropriate courses of action. And when it comes to growing towards normal adult independence, fraught with difficulties.
Be assured you àre not alone. Your mother may need gentle assurance in time you are not leaving her but as others have wisely suggested, proceed with caution. There is no rush, despite what your fears may tell you. You will find the many posts on this forum thought-provoking and at times possibly unsettling - because the Witness environment is tightly managed with a very low tolerance for diversity.
I note your comments about finding it hard to develop real friendships in your local congregation - a very common experience indeed which leads people to question, at first themselves then ultimately the organization.
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SpunkedTeen
Thank you everyone