The Best Way To Get To Know Someone...

by Funchback 16 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Funchback

  According to current JW teachings (and it has been this way for many years), the BEST way to get to know someone is to work with them in Field Service.

  When you were an "active" JW, what did you think about that statement? How do you feel about it now?

  Personally, those words were uttered by someone from the platform recently. My feelings about that statement PREVIOUSLY (before I became a JDub doubter) were, really, minimal. I just assumed those words were true. If anything, those words caused me to put more pressure on myself to go out in Field Service more often.

  NOW, when I hear those words, I feel like they are wrong. I believe those words are guilt tactics. Sure, you will get to know some things about a particular person if you work with them door-to-door. But there are many more ways to get to know someone BETTER than working with them in Field Service. One way would be to go out to dinner with someone or invite someone over for a Barbeque or have someone come over and watch the game with you or go shopping at a mall with someone or even corresponding with someone using the telephone, pen and paper, e-mail, or "instant messaging". There must be hundreds of ways to get to know someone.

  Any thoughts?
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  Nathan Natas

  The Best Way To Get To Know Someone... is to walk a mile in their underwear.
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  minimus

  The best way to get to know someone is to live with them.
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  Matty

  I get to know all the gossip in the congregation by going out on the ministry with any one of our regular pioneers. I don't get to know them, but I do get to know everybody else's business in the congregation!
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  Funchback

  Matty-

  You are SO right. The Pioneers will tell someone's business in a heartbeat!
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  yucca

  back in the early 70s before 1975 i was out in field service with other women. they were talking about going out and picking up men. i was shocked and i said where do you go? arent you afraid of being found out? no they went up to hollywood to night clubs. i was new witness divorced with one child 10 yrs old at home. i said well i would like to meet a brother and get married give my daughter a good father and maybe i could pioneer. well to my surprise days later 2 elders showed up at my door and i asked them in. well they asked me why did i want to get married with armagadden coming. did i have a sexual problem.i was mortified and the only ones i had said this to were those women who were having a good old time going to hollywood nightclubbing. so i found out early about gossiping. and how it worked. it was a game they did not care if god knew what they did in secret just not the elders. i never told on them but i was getting wiser. then when 1975 did not happen i was getting smarter. other things but this is enough for now. thankfully i never married again and i believe this was what god wanted for me . i have had a happy life. i am so glad i did not marry a jw. thanks yucca
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  Matty

  I have heard this "widening out" kinda stuff many times and I also believe that it's basically a way to get people out more and get them to work with different ones in the congregation. This is something that is perceived by CO's as something that makes a more robust and effective congregation, good and ready for the great trib!

  Many brothers and sisters are reluctant to be more open, try different styles of ministry and different styles of presentation. I don't think many naturally want to work with different people. They know that their presentations are poor and under-rehearsed, but they don't want some brother or sister criticising them. Better to get to know someone away from the ministry, and find out whether they are the fussy type that would make you feel uncomfortable partnering them or someone who is more laid back. You can get away with being staid if you go out with the same person week in week out; it gets kinda comfortable.

  If you get one of these "the best way to get to know someone is to work with them on the service" type of talks, you may subsequently sense that you are missing something, you then feel obliged to work with others, get into the cliques, maybe work harder on your preparation, else you could start to sense that you are drifting to the outside edge of the congregation - and we all know Satan's wolves get the ones on the periphery, don't we?
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  Matty

  Yucca! That just goes to show what happens when you talk about yourself in between doors! You can't give anything away about yourself, else it gets used as ammo against you. That's just sickening, but I'm hardly surprised.
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  Scully

  I know people who have an even better method:

  Sift through someone else's garbage for a couple of weeks. You see what they eat, what they drink, how many toilet paper rolls they go through, and maybe if you're lucky fortunate, you'll even find some credit card statements with how much they owe. You can read notes they write, and even see if they toss out perfectly good clothing rather than donate it to charity.

  Love, Scully (owns a paper shredder class)
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  Funchback

  yucca-

  I'm glad that you ultimately ended up being happy! Field Service is a good way to get to know about other peoples' personal issues.

  Matty-

  Do you live inside of my head?