Totally happy in your marriage?

by Lost Diamond 63 Replies latest social family

  • Lost Diamond
    Lost Diamond

    How many of you are totally, incredibly happy in your marriage? How many of you feel that your spouse is your absolute soul mate and you couldn't even imagine your being married somebody else?

    Talking with the women at work, I'm surprised at how many are not totally happy. One woman commented on how more men are happier being married that woman are. But, on the other hand I have heard people say how happy they are in their marriages. I like to hear that they are happy because that gives me some hope that there are still some decent people out there.

    I still believe that there are those that just were not meant to be married and are perfectly happy being single and not committed....

    What are your thoughts?

  • LB
    LB

    Talking with the women at work, I'm surprised at how many are not totally happy.

    Well none of those women are married to me. How can you expect them to be happy???

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    I am totally happy, and think Dave is my soulmate. It hasn't all been smooth sailing, but the last few years have been VERY smooth.

    I think we are entering the Golden Years, very contentedly.

  • scootergirl
    scootergirl

    I am happy, and yes, I do feel that my "Filthy" (a.k.a. husband, Jim) is my "soulmate".......

    BUT

    there are days when I think that "till death do us part is a very, very long time!"

  • Sabine
    Sabine

    I am extremely happy in my marriage. I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for my husband.

    Makena is one of the most egoless, genuinely kind, generous people I've ever met. He is extremely intelligent, tallented in music and art. If I'm cooking dinner when he get's home from work, he automatically jumps in and helps (many times I'll say no, you sit down and rest). He has a tremendous work ethic and willingly pitches in anykind of housework that needs to be done. He has no desire to control me in any way. He tells me I'm smart, beautiful, sexy and that he loves me everyday!! Someone pinch me!!!

  • Lost Diamond
    Lost Diamond

    LB,

    Your wife must be very lucky!! Just look at you....you're beaming!!

    Ladies,You are also very lucky to be so happliy married....I don't hear that too much anymore. When you talk about not being so smooth sailing all the time, are these "bumps" serious problems or minor stuff that you can work out over a glass of wine and some good conversation? How much do you give until you finally have to draw the line?

  • bigfloppydog
    bigfloppydog

    I am very happily married (31) years this past September. Mind you we have had some real tuff stuff to deal with, mostly with children. But for the most part we seem to deal with it, we laugh togeather, cry togeather, are happy togeather, know when we get upset, we laugh at each other. Sometimes the glass of wine you speak of could have been used to get us through the day. You have to look on the positive things, which sometimes is not easy to do. I believe committment to each other has something to do with sticking togeather. We know each other so well, we know sometimes what the other is thinking. We even sometimes say the same thing togeather at the same time, scarry! I sometimes know what my man is going to do, before he even does it, then it is like WOW! My man was never a JW, I was, he never gave me any trouble over this, even gave up alot for me, and I am so grateful to have him, he is a real sweetie. When I left the org. I felt guilty for all he had missed in his life because of me, but he took it all with a grain of salt, he still sends me mushy cards and flowers. I raise a glass of wine to my "Hubby."

  • Sentinel
    Sentinel

    The answer for me is "yes". Absolutely. There is mutual trust and respect going on here. We are best friends. I don't know if we will still feel this way tomorrow, or next week. But, for right now, and for the past twenty years, this is where we both choose to be. This is the second time around for both of us. My first marriage ended after fourteen years with a separation, then my husband died before I actually was divorced; and my present husband was married for nine years and divorced after his wife abandoned him and their three small children.

    Both of us thought that our first unions would last forever. Forever is a very long time....

    People change. I would never say never anymore, as just about the time you say that, boom, something happens to change everything. I never want to take him for granted. As we grow older together, we find that we are really bonded on so many levels. That would be difficult to replace. But, in all honesty, one should never depend so much on another, because people do die and leave us. We would have to be strong enough to go on without them--and they would want us to be able to take care of ourselves.

    There is also nothing wrong with being single either. Some of us just choose the single life. Some people lose their mate and don't remarry. There is nothing wrong with that. Just as much as there is nothing wrong with looking for a loving companion once again, and going the marriage route. It's everyone's individual choice. I like being married. Right now, I would find it very difficult to live this life without him next to me. He is my balance. He let's me be me, and loves me still. He also gives me the space I need, to think, to read, to be on this forum, (while he is neglected and lonely watching TV. )

    Sentinel/Karen

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    Most of the "not smooth sailing" for us, had to do with coming out of the WTS, and my not seeing it for so many years. Those were bad years for us.

    In earlier years, one of our sons had some rough times, and was disfellowshipped twice, and the way the congregation dictated we handle it, was very hurtful to us. Those are basically the only things we ever disagreed about.

    Well, there were money problems along the way, but those got ironed out. It was hard for me to curtail spending, since I grew up in an affluent household, and when we got married, we were so young, and had many hard years. It was easy to get in debt, and then blame was tossed around. But we worked it all out.

    Dave is very affectionate with me, and like Makena with Sabine, tells me he loves me every day, and is always ready to help me in the kitchen and even take over completely. I love that about him. He takes a real interest in the cooking. He is also extremely supportive of my interests and my desires to travel all over. Usually he comes too.

    We agree on the fact that we have an incredible family that we made!! It is an amazing feeling.

  • ConnieLynn
    ConnieLynn

    Yes, totally happy. Steve is my best friend and I love him something awful. He's a good man and he's really smart, I respect him and he respects me. We've been married since 1997 and our relationship just keeps getting stronger. We live together, work in the same office and enjoying hanging out and doing the same things for recreation. It's awesome to find someone that you know you want to grow old with.

    One of the things I appreciate about Steve is that he takes my JW past seriously and is supportive of what I need to do to heal. When we were dating he read Crisis of Conscience without my suggestion and did all kinds of research. He's a good guy!

    Edited to spell my own husband's name correctly!

    Edited by - ConnieLynn on 19 September 2002 18:20:44

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