My short time WITH and AS a JW

pincushion

My name is 'Pincushion', I reside in Alberta. In 1989 I started studying with the JW's. I was really drawn to the 'truth' and after much trial and tribulation I was baptised in 1991 during a Lethbridge assembly. It was then my life started falling apart. Because my family was worldly people, I took the steps to have as little as possible to do with them. I also took a night job at 7-11 i, so I could Witness during the day. I have always been a very outgoing and friendly person, whom when I make a friend we are friends for life. During the 80's I served in the Canadian Armed Forces, and made a lot of male friends. Strictly plutonic, but good friends. After I was baptised I was forever being called in front of the elders, for associating with males. The elders and the congregation could not understand that a woman can be friends with men and not be sexually involved. Also during that time, two young men came to visit me in my home, both were males I was exceptionally close to, as they grew up on a neighbouring ranch, I used to babysit them and was very close to the family. When the elders found out I had men alone with me in my basement suit, I was in big trouble. When a person is worldly and has worldly friends for 24 years of their life its hard to say goodbye to them do to religious beliefs. I have always had strong values through my life..even before I was brought into the 'truth'. In fact, even though I had a lot of male friends, I was not sexually active until my wedding night, 8 years ago. That is probably too much information but it is part of my story. So here I am, being shunned by the congregation, shunned by my family and friends, working 12 hour shifts 10 nights a week, and living like a hermit through the day light hours, with no one to talk to. Family wouldn't come visit me because I was a JW, JW's wouldn't come visit me because I was associating with worldy people and men, and friends I would not allow in my home for I was trying to make things right in Jehovah's and the Congregations eyes. I was worn out, alone, and afraid. I ended up in a nervous breakdown in 1993, which seen me 6 months hospitalization in the Psych hospital..being treated for depression and suicidal thoughts. 2 attempts at suicide. During my six month stay, the brothers and sisters came to visit me 3 times. Their last vist which was approximately my 5th month being hospitalized, found me smoking and dating a younger guy. So all of a sudden I was woth attention from the Elders, to be repremanded. Upon my discharge in September 1993, i wrote a dissassocition letter. I met my now husband 5 months later. The elders kept hounding me to come back, mend my ways, and also started hounding my husband. One night my husband and I went to a local restaurant and as we sat there, a 'Brother' came in and sat next to my husband, witnessing to him and not even acknowledging me, my presence or my being. When he did turn my way, I blew cigarrette smoke in his face and walked out. The next day we put a restraining order on the entire congregation. Today I am happier then I haveever been. I now work in the Mental health Field, and settled in. However the days with the JW's still haunts me to the point I have nightmares about it, literally. I feel like I was betrayed in a way I have never been betrayed before. the hurt I went through is beyond imagination. It has taked 8 years to be close to my family again, but worldly friends of those days are no longer my friends. I have had to make a new life. Although it is a very good life now, I just can't get over the past.

VeniceIT

WOW pin my heart goes out to you. I'm glad you have found us and hope we can help to brighten your day, and hear what you have to share/

Ven

nilfun

Hi Pincushion I sounds like you have been through the wringer.

The next day we put a restraining order on the entire congregation.

Wow, that was pretty brave, good for you both. Yeah, the past can be hard to get over, but sometimes it helps to talk about it. Glad you're here.

TR

Hi Pin! Welcome!

Unfortunately, your experience has all the earmarks of a well-established 'hovah nightmare. Glad your back from hell and doing well. Hopefully, the past horrors will dim with time.

TR

Satanus

Wow. It's like you spent a few years passing through a nightmare. Congratulations on waking up. I was a zealous dub in edmonton for 10 yrs, until 1980, at which time i became a zealous dub in georgetown, then later montreal.

SS

DakotaRed

Hello and welcome, Pincushion.

Blew smoke in their face??? LOL, all I did was physically kick them out of my house.

Sorry for all you have been through, but we all have been pretty much there ourselves. Feel free to vent a much as you feel here, we are here to listen.

Cyn

Hello Pincushion....

NY name is Cynthia...we met on the chat......I admire your bravery........You stood up to them!

I stood up in my OWN WAY........I was also isolated......family were not JWS I had a history of depression and was dealing with meanspritedness ...mind games .......slander and shunning "MARKING'' I was not even certain it was "MARKING" my crime was spekaing out about depression and how many people were UNLOVING having me question if GOd had removed his spirit

I was told recently by a JW ( she did ot know I am OUT 3YRS OFFICIALLY) that "they" were jealous I had a good job attractive ( that was PRE BREAKDOWN)......I played by the rules only to the point that I was sincere....never made WORLDY friends.......family was distant and congregation COLD............... remember the scripture that states they should not OVERCORRECT ?????? anyway.........I was depressed suicidal NO meds no docs....... 14 yrs it got worse and worse and I continued to ask the elders WHY??? Went to Bethel even spoke to a former counselor there .. Funny Bethelites were sent to see therapists on occasion.....

Memories are hard........ you sound as If you have PTSD ( Post traumatic stres sydrome) I beleive I have as well.......

But Pincushion...you have a person that loves you and that you love..that is a great gift.........

Cyn..............

Tish

Wow Pin,

Yet another victim!! Hope you are getting over your experiences of a Jab Dubb.

Luv

Tish

marked1

do you want to know why that happened? it is because they are wrong wrong wrong. Jesus never taught anything close to what they are doing to you..... you need to break free from them and come to a bible preachin and teachin church that teaches the word of the Lord . Love and forgiveness is what Jesus taught and i see none of that with the group your in.

blessings to you

scumrat

Hey Pin, good for the restraining order. That's taking control !!!!!

My short time WITH and AS a JW

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