All right- all those out there who own pets, or have owned pets will hopefully see my point of view and understand. The rest of you can point and laugh at my weakness...
My cat is dying. She is 119 in people years, I guess it's to be expected that she go sometime, but still it sucks! I am sitting here tonight and she is sitting next to me and I can't help but burst into tears every time I look at my poor old kitty. This week she has given up eating. She nibbles but walks away. She sleeps a lot, I mean more than normal for a cat. She only walks short distances then sits down to rest. She weighs next to nothing, her back legs shake when she walks and today she lost all bladder control. Tomorrow I am taking her to the vet. I know there is nothing they can do, and will most likely tuck her in for the long sleep good night so tonight is my last night with her. Ooops there I go crying again.
I feel stupid on the one hand, she is just a pet, nothing lasts forever, she's very old, we had lots of years together etc. But I can't help it. I'm a blubbering mess over a ball of fur. It's just I've never had a pet live this long. They were usually done in as kittens by cars, neighbors, or ran away, or got some weird liver disease. I mean I have had her since I was 8.
And she was my cat. She only crawled into my bed, she only liked me. She was just as crabby and mean as me, and we bonded. I like to think we had a bitchy understanding of each other. She follwed me everywhere. She would always come and "talk" to me in the mornings, and if I just made eye contact with her I could get her to purr. I can pat my leg and she'd come running. She always bashed her head into my shin, and laid on my books to make it impossible for me to study. Whenever times were tough I always felt like she was the one little creature who cared about my existance, probably cuz I supplied her with food and emptied the litter box, but if felt like unconditional love at the time. Hahaha!
So anyway, I am a mess and dreading tomorrow. Life sucks.