Starry Starry Night....

by TheSurvivor 13 Replies latest jw experiences

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  TheSurvivor

  How many people here have had close friends or aquaintances in the truth take their own life? I know that this may be a very deep subject, and I do not mean to dredge up bad memories, but I just ran across the lyrics to Vincent aka Starry Starry Night. It was the first time that I ever actually read the words and it made me think of the JW friends that I have lost due to suicide. Somehow I think for the average person to have 3 old friends kill themselves is NOT normal, and it says a lot about how some people feel hopelessly trapped by the WTBTS. Again, I do not take this subject lightly. Tears came to my eyes as I thought about my old friends and wondered if they ever tried to tell me anything, that I just could not hear at the time..............I just had second thoughts about even posting this, considering how upset it has made me.

  TheSurvivor

  Vincent-Don McClean

  Starry, starry night

  Paint your palette blue and gray

  Look out on a summer's day

  With eyes that know the darkness in my soul

  Shadows on the hills

  Sketch the trees and the daffodils

  Catch the breeze and the winter chills

  In colors on the snowy linen land

  (Chorus)

  Now I understand

  What you tried to say to me

  How you suffered for your sanity

  How you tried to set them free

  They would not listen they did not how

  Perhaps they'll listen now

  Starry, starry night

  Flaming flowers that brightly blaze

  Swirling clouds in violet haze

  Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue

  Colors changing hue

  Morning fields of amber grain

  Weathered faces lined in pain

  Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

  (Chorus)

  For they could not love you

  But still your love was true

  And when no hope was left inside

  On that starry, starry night

  You took your life as lovers often do

  But I could have told you Vincent

  This world was never meant for one as

  beautiful as you

  Starry, starry night

  Portraits hung in empty halls

  Frameless heads on nameless walls

  With eyes that watch the world and can't forget

  Like the strangers that you've met

  The ragged men in ragged clothes

  The silver thorn of bloody rose

  Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

  Now I think I know

  What you tried to say to me

  How you suffered for your sanity

  How you tried to set them free

  They did not listen they're not listening still

  Perhaps they never will
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  Sentinel

  Survivor,

  I was really touched by your post. This is a very tender subject with me. I lost my first husband to suicide. Prior to that, I knew at least six people who were in our group of friends that took that route. Although none of these individuals were involved with JW's, I can truthfully say, that my husband was definitely influenced by some of the teachings. He was a very confused and unhappy person, who could not seem to find his way.

  I have been very close to the edge myself, as a JW in spiritual torment. It is not a happy place in which to exist. Fortunately, I choose life over the other option. Life is beautiful. But, for some, they cannot see past the pain of living.

  Thanks for the words to the song. It seems like this is the way life is. We do not always see the pain in another individual. Even though we may know someone very well, it is not always easy to see. But, we are not to blame for the choice of someone else. Although, I know so well, exactly what you mean. If only's .........they can really make one think can't they?

  Sentinel
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  Joyzabel

  Thank you, Survivor, for sharing the words to that song. Starry, Starry Night is one of my favorite songs.

  It is hard to think back on loved ones or friends we have had that are no longer with us, either by suicide or murders (Freemans) and not feel sad for ourselves that we may have been able to help them differently with what we now know.

  All we can do is the best that we can with the circumstances we have and with who we are. I just hope I have grown to accept who I am and what my best means, i.e. not being perfect or living up to standards someone else sets.

  Hugs,

  J2bf

  ps ((((((((Sentinel))))))))
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  Sentinel

  I can't understand why you aren't getting more post replies to this wonderful thread.

  Don't be discouraged. I really thought it was sensitive and caring to make an expression like that.

  Sentinel
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  teejay

  Don McCleans Vincent is a classic.

  Thankfully I dont have any friends or family who have ever taken their own life, but there was a time once in MY life when things got pretty low. I never considered it myself but for the first time I understood why people take that path out.

  Life is sometimes very hard... so hard and the problems so heavy that not only does there seem to be no solution NOW, it seems like there will *never* be one. Without trying real hard, I remember that feeling. Very well.

  Very nice remembrance of your friends, TheSurvivor.
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  Mac

  I've not had any close friends accelerate their demise but was personally aquainted with three individuals who took their own lives that were Witnesses or studying to become one. I,ve twice rushed my own sister to the hospital for a suicide attempt, while she was an active Witness! About 3 years ago we had a young man, friend of my sons, drown himself in our pond. It's all quite sad!
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  Dismembered

  A little music trivia

  That song was about Vincent van Gogh. Truly a classic!
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  Englishman

  I don't know of any JW or ex-JW who has succesfully taken their own life. However, on 3 occasions I have been involved in a dash to the hospital with ex's who have over-dosed, and there was another time when someone who I will not name actually jumped from a cliff and survived.

  All these incidents took place within a 2 year period of them leaving the witnesses. The saddest thing was listening to the parents / relatives sat around the patients bedside telling them that this would not have happened if they had not "turned their back on Jehovah".

  Englishman.
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  Tzu

  How sad Survivor,

  I personally do not know anyone who has done this. However I do have a brother who has suffered some kind of breakdown over time, lost everything actually and we do worry he may do this. To my horror I heard the other day, that witnesses are now studying with him! Unfortunately, I have no more contact with him due to difficult circumstances. He is really down and out and amazing how they seem to step into a person's life just at the correct time. However, I doubt they will convert him as he is a difficult character and I never managed while I was in the watchtower (hard as I tried), and of course I have since explained to him why it is wrong. It is such a wicked religion and the Bible does say if I recall correctly, that Satan comes to rob, steal and destroy. The Watchtower really does rob people of their happiness, destroys families and steals lives just as you mention here. It is all very sad, and hard to believe that many of us were once blinded by their cruel teachings. I can honestly say these days when I see them going door to door, "there but for the grace of God, goes I", because I prayed and prayed to God to help me and to guide me, and many others were also praying for our salvation (my husband and children were all in and have come out). He answered those prayers!
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  COMF