My heart goes out to you. Treasure the conversations you have with your mom. Try not to dwell on the past if it makes you unhappy.
Perhaps your mother should never have told you some of the things she has. Those things might have best been left unsaid. At any rate, if learning these things helped you to understand the reasons why your life was the way it was, then maybe it wasn't a bad thing. Who knows.
My father and mother never hugged each other or showed affection. My father never showed me any tender love. He never hugged me or had any kind of interest in me when I was a child--or ever, for that matter. I've learned that this was because he was immature, and was still a kid at 26, when they had me. I was in the way. He was jealous of me, jealous of his own child! He also dealt with me in sexually inappropriate ways. It wasn't until the first part of this year, that I prayed to find out what had gone wrong with "us", and why he just abandoned me emotionally when I was about five. It was then that I remembered a "dream" I had when I was that age. A grown up person that I loved was behaving in a bad way with me and telling me to be quiet and not make a sound. Suddenly everything made sense in a very sick way. I can't go into this any further, but at that point I understood why he distanced himself from me, and why I felt like he didn't love me. The thing is, my own mother quite possibly knew of the occurance(s), and never did a thing.
Parents can damage their children. We can be damaged and still survive. We can be damaged ourselves and be the best parents in the world when we have our own dear babies. Your father was a sick man to hate you. It isn't natural. No child should have to live in a home without love, but it happens all the time. Perhaps they were never loved when they were young, and just don't know how to reach out.
Parents grow up with many unresolved issues themselves. Many issues never become resolved, and other issues are resolved and there is healing. I hope this can happen for you.
A hug can go such a long way.((((((((((((((flower)))))))))))))