Hello, my name is Tina and I am a DB whore. I need to enter a 12 step program....Adult Children Who Were JW's.
I would like to clarify some things and I figure this is as good a time as any.
I post under puffsrule. As my first DB I was in a state of panic when I had to pick a name. I was terrified someone might figure out who I was. I looked around the room and saw as box of Puffs tissues. We always purchased Puffs. My husband's account at work was P & G and if I were noticed purchasing a Kleenex brand anything, we would be in trouble. Seriously. Support your own brand and all that.
Anyway, I posted in September, after lurking for quite a while. I had to see if you were all crazy or if I was. I decided you really were ex-jw's and WTF, I might as well get involved. I had been an agnostic until last fall. I now am an aethist.
I grew up as a 3rd gen dub. All my mother's side. You can read my story under all my posts.
Since I started posting here, there have been many flame wars. Many names called and many things can are now broken, might never get fixed because of what was said. I need to tell you why I have tried to never get involved with these. Call me a coward, call me what you will, however, I have seen the devestation that words cause.
My sister met a "worldly" guy at a dub wedding, it was spring of 1977. He was the cousin of one of my mother's dub friends. He was from Baltimore. We lived in the Chicago suburbs.
My sister dated him against my mother's wishes. They fought constantly about this. One night, my sister told my mother to F---off, she was going on her date no matter what. My mother, having a JW wine tasting party that night, told her "if you go, don't ever come back, you will never be welcome in my house again."
My sister left, never to come back. She got married that fall to the guy and she was pregnant. The elders, up to that point, left her alone. When she had her kid in December, she was DFd for fornication. They determined that there was no way a baby conceived in the fall could come out in December weighing 9 + pounds.
She and my mother began an uneasy truce. Lots of words being yelled. Lots of "if you_____, don't ever come back or ask for help."
My sister and her husband (total scumbag to this day, but that is another thread) moved to Baltimore when the kid was about 3 1/2. The Chicago mafia was after my BIL for unpaid "bills." Not rocket science to figure out he was selling drugs for them and did not pay. He and she admitted it years later.
Anyway, over the years my Mother (M) had nothing but negative things to say about BIL (K). She and my sister have had 5 fallings out that I can count. These are the "don't ever call me again, you ______". Fill in the blank with names.
The last time occured about 5 years ago. I have had limited contact with my sister over the years because she always starts on about our mother and how bad her childhood was. I don't want to hear it. I have heard it for 25 years!
I have been put in the middle of these fights my whole life. I was 14 when my sister left. I am sick of being put into the middle of a stupid fight. When two or three or however many people cannot communicate without telling the other "don't ever come back" I get a sick feeling. It hit me tonight. As I thought of the thread expat started, it hit me.
I won't do it. I am sick and tired of being asked to choose sides.
I like many posters on many boards. Since I have been unemployed until recently, I had nothing to do but clean, cook and read boards. I have to stop.
Anyway, I will be posting under a new name and picture. I had my hair cut and straightened. You can see me on bboy's site under "teenyuck." Simon said I could if I let him know. puffsrule will be thrown in the trash.
Many people have made disparaging remarks about those who sat on the sidelines watching the flame wars go on. You need to understand my side. I would guess that there are many more like me on this board.