Welcome and concentrate on being happy and doing what you want to do. People have wasted thier lives on worshipping a god that doesn't answer prayers and doesn't manifest himself. I spoke to a friend last night and found out that his new born baby had died. What did this baby do to deserve death? Live your life like there's no tomorrow.
Getting it out of my system, a VERY long introduction/outpouring..
by adimmedlight 51 Replies latest jw experiences
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joe134cd
The thing that stands out to me here is that you are only 23. Be thankful you came to the conclusion when you did. Just imagine how we feel having the best years pass is by and just rebuilding our lives after decades of missed opportunities and indoctrination. -
The Searcher
Welcome to the forum ADIMMEDLIGHT.
You'll find a treasure trove of information & insights here which will help you on whatever road you choose.
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adimmedlight
Thank you everyone for your kind words and the warm welcome! I was nervous at first, especially when it all started sounding like a sob story. I didn't write for pity, but I know everyone can relate. Of course, there is much more to this, but it doesn't really matter! The love here is familiar, but much more refreshing! Thank you again...and also thank you webmaster for allowing guests to lurk about without membership. A lot of places, you usually can't access forums without joining. -
cha ching
Dear Dimmed....
So sorry for you, but happy you are now able to express yourself without fear... That's the way it should be, isn't it? People should be able to ask questions, get answers, make decisions... without guilt. After growing up as a witness (I too was the oldest of five, and was told "we are no longer celebrating birthdays or Christmas at five", dang!) and now at a very old age, I look back at the methods used to keep people believing, going, holding on....
I describe it as a hamster wheel.... While you are on it, or "in", there is always something to DO, and no time for YOU.... no time to just "think", "breathe", relax or enjoy... Always going somewhere, never getting anywhere, right?
You always feel guilty that you are not doing something else. Try to let yourself enjoy the moment... Make memories, and congratulate yourself when you do... You are only 23! Awesome! I was in my 50's!
Build up your self esteem, meet new people, build new relationships, go places, experience "life".... and smile... oh yes, and dance.... definitely dance... ;-)
Let us know how it goes! I also, am grateful for the people here, and other places who have given their time and energies to help us through these hard times, trying to find ourselves... But enjoy it, it is an adventure!
Cha Ching!
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StarTrekAngel
Welcome,! The way I removed all guilt was by reading New Testament from end to end, analyzing the whole thing without bias. Believing that my understanding of it was all I needed. You could say that the bias was there but I can swear it was not. Yet every time I read Jesus condemning the "organization of his time and its leaders", I felt an ever growing sensation of relief that did not stop growing until I was done reading. For the first time in my life I felt god was talking to me and guiding me. -
James Mixon
Welcome adimmedlight: Indeed a very moving story.
"Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can". Arthur Ashe.
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adimmedlight
I describe it as a hamster wheel.... While you are on it, or "in", there is always something to DO, and no time for YOU.... no time to just "think", "breathe", relax or enjoy... Always going somewhere, never getting anywhere, right?
Yes, I totally agree! And I've been spending the past few years finding out who I am, relearning things I love and finding there was nothing wrong with a lot of them in the first place!
The way I removed all guilt was by reading New Testament from end to end, analyzing the whole thing without bias. Believing that my understanding of it was all I needed.
I have been doing this for a few months now and even without reading all the other oft mentioned books and references, the Word itself provides the answers to most questions. All the studying we do as JWs, and yet the obvious escapes us. I sort of laugh about it a little. We never needed to complicate things with all the extra resources and books and "speculation." I spoke recently to the pioneer couple who took care of me all those years as I felt I at least owed them some sort of explanation. They say it is easy for me to be unsure of recent changes because I have been away so long. I don't want to influence their beliefs, or anyone else's for that matter, but it's as if they couldn't even listen to me. I didn't really expect them to understand, but I tried. On a sidenote, I received a tract at work the other day that appears more like an advertisement than anything. It asks life's big questions, but says the answers can be found on the jw.org website. Why not refer them to the NT? :)
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clarity
Hello & a huge welcome to you! Thank you for your story, you have probably noticed that all of our stories are quite similar. That's because we have been programmed & mind controlled by the same messages & activities. I just want to say to you sweety, plse take the pressure off youself. Try to relax about this life you were given. Start to enjoy yourself and stop looking to 7 very imperfect controlling men who call themselves the governing body. They are laughable!!!! They only have power because people are being fooled. Don't let that person be you!
When you feel stronger expose this WT society to yourself. They are a dangerous cult and blood guilty.
Plse stay in touch ok......... all the best to you. You are on a path of freedom!
clarity
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DesirousOfChange
The thing that stands out to me here is that you are only 23.
Yep............your life is still ahead of you.
Doc
The greatest revenge is living a happy and successful life!