Nikita's Story! It was a time long ago...the drama

by Nikita 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Nikita

    Hi all! I had this posted in another topic and it kinda got buried, so I thought I would create a thread all my own!

    Re: POLL: New to This Board? Please Sign In Here!!Jul 20, 200212:35

    Hi all, my name is Leslie but I go by Nikita. I am Mr. Biggs & Quincy's older sis, an old friend of Badwillies and an old friend of Mikepences wife, Denise! I have another brother who is very active in JW land and pretty much has nothing to do with me.

    I started coming here, when out of the blue I received an email from Mr. Biggs. To my surprise, he informed me that he no longer believed in what the JW's had to teach! He told me about the reasons why he became dissatisfied, like the UN issue for one. He gave me some websites to check out-as I had never heard of the UN situation and that is how I found my way here!

    I grew up in Mt. Airy section of Philly, where I attended Wyndmoor congregation first then I moved to one in the Montgomery county area of PA. My parents were of no religious persuasion during my elementary school years. I had friends who were of various ethnicities and religions, but my 2 closest friends were a Jehovah's Witness (we met in 1st grade!) and a Jewish girl I met in 4th grade. My exposure to any kind of church attendance was limited to a Unitarian church a couple of times, the Synagogue more than a few times, a Catholic church, even a Theosophy class! But, although I was friends with the JW at a young age, I don't think I started looking into the religion until I was about 11 or 12. By the time I was 13, I was studying. (this was in the late 70's))

    It was shortly after I began studying that Biggs and Mom and another brother began studying as well. You can read about Biggs story here:

    He gives much more background on our family dynamics.

    I was baptized the same year I graduated from High School (Phila H.S. for girls '83). In fact, I had to obtain special permission to be absent from graduation because our annual convention was the same week! How stupid that was! Oh well...I tried to pioneer and work part-time, but was yearning to expereince life as a "normal" person.

    I had never dated by the time I was 19 and was so un-happy when I was by myself. When a "worldly" guy asked me out, that was the beginning of my "fall from the JW's". I had great anxiety over life without the good friends I'd come to know but felt like this was the path I must take. I knew what the consequences would be for being baptized and leaving, but I was willing to take that chance! At the time I left, Mom left and my other brothers weren't really "into" it too much, at least not like I was. In fact, Quincy was only about 4 or 5, thankfully, he never had been indoctrinated into it.

    I stopped going to the meetings, and ran into some of my friends here and there. Don't recall any of the elders trying to speak with me about my lack of attendance. When I got married, it was to a non-JW in a church. (1988) After that is when I heard that I was DA'd.

    Now, I am 37, a stay-at-home mom of one child whom I homeschool. I am a Christian, but I try not to be preachy, because I come here to offer my support and recieve it. I appreciate all the different perspectives found here (with the one common denominator of us all having exposure to this religion) and have found myself more challenged in my own growth as a person and as a Christian.

    Leslie aka "Nikita"

    Edited by - Nikita on 27 August 2002 16:29:22

  • Mister 8iggs
    Mister 8iggs


    I am so sorry for being the "good little JW" when I used to (somewhat) shun you. I hope you can continue to forgive me. By the way, was the Jewish girl named Sarah Z.??? I remember her!!! Redhaired girl. She lived off of Germantown Ave.

  • Nikita

    Thanks Biggs! I love you dearly and no need to worry about whether I will continue to forgive you-it's all in the past.

    Yes, the friend was Sarah.


  • Dismembered

    Nice post Leslie. Thanks!

  • Nikita

    Thanks Dismembered!

  • Nikita

    What's a girl got to do to get noticed around here anyways?

  • Gopher

    Ok, Leslie, your dancing lady got my attention!! Actually I read your story too, and isn't it great that when we finally gain access to good information (as found here and other sites), we can finally be free! And yes the change from the lifestyle and attititudes we once had, when we were sure we had "the truth", to now when we have to operate in more of a give-and-take environment, is quite a challenge. But it's the best change one could make!

    Thanks for posting your story, and I look forward to more of your posts.

  • Nikita

    Thanks Gopher! You said it:

    isn't it great that when we finally gain access to good information (as found here and other sites), we can finally be free!

    The trick is though to get them to want to even look at the info! Thankfully, with the internet, many are able to do this without fear of being "caught" and disciplined.


  • outnfree


    Nice to learn some more about you. I left off studying with the witnesses, never baptized yet, at 19 also, when I met my future husband and decided (as I put it to myself at the time) that I wanted him more than Jehovah. I had it right, too! But that fear of Armageddon kicked in when we had our first child and I couldn't give her a death sentence, so I reupped and lost almost 18 more years to "the Truth"! ARRGGGHHHH!!!!!

    Glad we smartened up!


  • Sentinel

    Hi Leslie,

    I'm glad your here and posting your story. As I read your post, the words just sounded so familiar, so much like the rest of us, only in a different way, your own unique experience.

    One thing you said, about wanting to "be normal" really clicked with me. I know that I was emotionally damaged, probably long before I ever became a JW (when I was fourteen). Becoming part of the borg just kept me in the subserviant, low self esteem lifestyle that I knew so well. I wanted to belong, to feel a part of things, but I felt so separate, so different. I didn't know what "normal" was and it took me forever to figure it out. Well, not forever, but a very long portion of my life.

    Things are good for me now. Not perfect, but good, and I can live quite happily with that. I've lost a lot, but I've also gained a lot. Life sure does hand us a bunch of crap now and then, and we just have to get strong and become the people we were meant to be.

    It will be nice to have another new friend here. I went to the other site and printed it out to read later.

    Take care,


Share this