A Time to Weep. A Time to Mourn

by Swan 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mulan

    For some reason my post isn't showing and it won't let me edit either, so here is what I wrote. Fortunately, I "copied" it before hitting "reply to topic".

    Tammy, that is just so sad. I think having your own memorial for her is a great idea.

    I was always taught by my family, that although we don't "grieve as the nations do", it is a terrible loss, and "death is an enemy". We were allowed to grieve. Maybe it's a family thing, and I do know of others who have had the same experience you did when your grandparent died.

    When my brother's wife died, the whole family was at his house the next day, and we were all just barely hanging on. We had lost her and their stillborn son, the same day. We were in shock, and an elder friend of my brother's came over to be with the family. He sat down and talked to all of us about death and read several scriptures, that as I remember, were very helpful. We all kind of snapped out of it, and started getting necessary things done. We cooked meals, made gallons of coffee I think, and began planning her memorial service. For the adults it seemed good, but my brother's teenage daughters were left feeling that they shouldn't cry, and it wasn't good for them. We all went to the meeting at their KH that night (Ministry School and Service Meeting). We went on with our lives as though she hadn't died. I know now that we all just suppressed our grief. That isn't a good thing. I will never forget the blank faces on their girls. How they got through it, I don't know.

    So, I am glad you are taking some time off of work. I am so sorry for your loss.

  • Cassiline

    ((((((((( Tammy ))))))))))

    So sorry for your loss. Please know if you ever find the need my e-mail is open and I always have a shoulder for you to cry on or an ear to listen if you wish to rant.

    It seems of late I have "played" this song too much but in case you missed it....

    Jordan's Song

    A vane turns as young leaves begin to rustle,
    a limb gently bends..
    I remember back to when I was ten
    sitting with my grandpa on the front porch swing
    "Another traveler just past by," he says.
    Then gently, he draws on his blackened hickory pipe
    and leans back with a bit of a smile.
    "Travelers?" I ask.
    "I see nothing but fields and blue skies.
    Grandpa, what do you mean?"
    He tells me to shut my eyes
    and only listen as he softly begins,
    "Some men see only with their eyes and others,
    with their hearts.
    But I was only ten when my grandfather taught me to see within my
    So shut your eyes and open your mind now."
    Feel the wind, how it blows;
    do you ever wonder from where it comes,
    or to where it goes.
    Who starts the wind, and why?
    Some are just a gentle breeze,
    others uproot mighty trees.
    It lifts the birds into the sky
    then, it stops as if to die.
    See the wind against the sky...
    another traveler just past by.
    So, now I see though within my eyes.
    The wind, it blows with each passing of a soul.
    On angels' wings I see the breeze and, I feel the air
    of a travelers' hand gently through my hair.
    "Oh Grandpa, I see, I really do!"
    The wind, it lives.
    It lifts the birds and moves great trees.
    And it even stops
    then, it kisses me and whispers in my ear...
    "Remember me when you feel a breeze,
    a vane that turns, the rustling leaves.
    I'm with you still, I always will."
    ...another travelers just past by.

    Hugs to you Tammy



  • capbuster

    That is the most beautiful song I believe I have ever read or felt Cassi. It really impresses me to see all of you reach out to Tammy this way. Who sings this song?


  • Nikita


    Hang in there


    Edited by - Nikita on 27 August 2002 0:52:33

  • Swan

    Thank you Prisca. I think that I will do that. Every August 21st will hereafter and forevermore be known as Krystal Kae Day. Flowers to celebrate the beautiful life of a beautiful young lady.


  • Swan

    Thank you Minimus, Professor, and Lilacs. I think it is part of cult mind control to also control the emotions of the subject, isn't it? Maybe that is the reason.

  • hillary_step


    Your note was very moving. I am sorry that you have been put in a position where even the most natural desire that humans have, that is, to grieve for the death of someone they care for has been sanitized beyond recognition and used as weaponry by the WTS.

    I suggest that any JWs who seek to defend the behavior of their leaders, read your post and measure its implications against their own heart and conscience.

    I wish you peace - HS

  • Swan


    Thank you.

    Im just curious why you where not allowed to see your neice?

    I was told by my brother not to come to his house any more when I DAed myself. I had to respect his wishes in this manner, so that maybe one day he would respect me. He had someone call me the other day with the tragic news, so apparently he did respect me enough to keep me informed. I have had aunts and uncles die that my parents never bothered to tell me about, but my brother, with all that he was going through, thought to let me know the bad news in a phone call rather than reading an obit.

    My point is everyone grieves differently and everyone should be allowed to grieve their own way!! I feel so strongly about this.Don't ever let anyone tell you how to react to anything.Just let it out the way you want.

    Exactly. Some people even laugh or make crude jokes. But those are too just ways that some people express their deepest emotions. Angry, grief, sadness, remorse, guilt, blame, laughter are what make us most human. To deny our emotions often times locks us in a place where we can't move on.


  • Cassiline


    Hello to you!! I don't know who sings the song. It was passed on to me by a friend. It was a post he found, posted by Grandma on a cattle forum of some sort. As far as I could see from the post no author was attributed to the song, Wish I knew who wrote it sung it as well.

    Welcome to the forum Capbuster If I haven't welcomed you yet. If I have welcome again!!

  • Swan

    Dear Joy,

    Thank you so much!

    Hang in there Tammy, give yourself time to grieve, not only about your neice but the loss of your family that you deal with everyday. (shunning)

    It is really hard now because she is now lost to me in death as well. I remember so painfully the look on her face when it became apparent that I was leaving them. (Yet I never actually did. My disassociation was from Jehovah's Witnesses. I made it very clear to my family that I would always welcome contact from them).

    I just wish I had one more chance to explain it all to her.

    The others I have hope for. Maybe in time...


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