For some reason my post isn't showing and it won't let me edit either, so here is what I wrote. Fortunately, I "copied" it before hitting "reply to topic".
Tammy, that is just so sad. I think having your own memorial for her is a great idea.
I was always taught by my family, that although we don't "grieve as the nations do", it is a terrible loss, and "death is an enemy". We were allowed to grieve. Maybe it's a family thing, and I do know of others who have had the same experience you did when your grandparent died.
When my brother's wife died, the whole family was at his house the next day, and we were all just barely hanging on. We had lost her and their stillborn son, the same day. We were in shock, and an elder friend of my brother's came over to be with the family. He sat down and talked to all of us about death and read several scriptures, that as I remember, were very helpful. We all kind of snapped out of it, and started getting necessary things done. We cooked meals, made gallons of coffee I think, and began planning her memorial service. For the adults it seemed good, but my brother's teenage daughters were left feeling that they shouldn't cry, and it wasn't good for them. We all went to the meeting at their KH that night (Ministry School and Service Meeting). We went on with our lives as though she hadn't died. I know now that we all just suppressed our grief. That isn't a good thing. I will never forget the blank faces on their girls. How they got through it, I don't know.
So, I am glad you are taking some time off of work. I am so sorry for your loss.