Hi DJ: What time did I leave my first post? Ooops! Here I am again... :-)
This afternoon is a perfect example of what happens to me a lot: I have paperwork that I need to do, but I need to use the computer and printer to do it. So I will say to myself (and at the time I think I mean it), "Today I am NOT getting online FIRST, but will just turn on the computer and get straight to the paperwork that needs to be done." I can't tell you how many times I go thru this same scenario, obvously "fooling myself." My printer and modem are hooked into the same port, so in order to print, I have to unplug the modem, and vice versa. Once the computer is fired up, then I do a 360, and say, "Well, since the modem is plugged in, I might as well check email first." Then rolls in a J-W.com email showing all the topics I replied to previously, and well, uh.... (red faced), here I am again...
As a matter of fact, I was a "late bloomer" when it comes to the internet. I purposely would NOT sign up for internet service for quite a few years after other friends were already on the internet bandwagon. Because I KNEW as sure as day, and I used to say this to my friends as my reason for resisiting it, "If I ever get on the internet, I know for a FACT it will SWALLOW ME UP."
My prediction has come true... :-/
LOL! and Ditto on the laundry, the bills, groceries... AND so true what you say about getting irked at having to stop to take care of dinner or whatever. That truly is a sign of either Hyper-Focusing (which is a symptom of ADD, btw) or either a symptom of OCD (I haven't decided which!) :-) Fortunately (or UNfortunately), I live alone so I don't have too many interruptions from my online addiction...
Hey, are there any IN-HOUSE THERAPISTS in this forum? I think I need one BAD (red faced again)!
I understand about the 3% guilt, too. Every now and then in a quiet moment, I will still get struck with a wave of fear as in "What IF they are right?" Then my brain quickly remembers the masses of info on erroneous predictions, cover ups, witch hunts, Rutherfraud, cult-mind-control info I've read, 1914 fiasco, etc. etc. and I have to say, "This just can NOT be the truth, so where will God lead me from here?" Like you I don't have that figured out completely (it's a "hazy mirror" book of James, I think), but I think it is a process, and while going through these stages, there is a need to Share the feelings associated with each stage. I'm sure things will level out over time and we can move on to seeking/studying what to do next (at least that's what I've read from many others as to how it happens).
I'm thinking the process must be like they describe for the five stages one has to go thru after a trauma or death, etc. (and I forget their correct order), but something like: Shock, Grief, Anger, _____, and Acceptance. (Can't remember specifically.) I can say I have already been thru the Initial Shock of learning all these things about the WTS, then most definitely the Grief (cried my guts out about Silent Lambs), and I think I am in the Anger Stage (from some of the stuff I find myself writing full of pounding, scathing denunciations -- I never planned on sounding like Farkel!). And I hope I will eventually move on into the next stages of _____ and Acceptance. (I'm missing one stage, anybody know what it is??? Where's that In-House Therapist when we need them?) :-)
Your honesty, DJ, again, blows me away and I admire it/you tremendously for it. I never would have had the guts to "come out of the closet" and admit to these things if I hadn't seen you describing it first. And to show my thanks, I tried to look up that scripture for you. I wonder if this is the one you were thinking of??
"Take your position, Stand Still and see the salvation of Jehovah in Your behalf." (2 Chronicles 20:17) or maybe it was this one in Psalms 100:3: "Know that Jehovah is God." Either way, you're so right, He's got us covered coming and going!
Thanks for reading/sharing. Didn't know I was going to ramble on this long. But I feel much better now!
Edited because the spacing between paragraphs is not showing up, but the entire post was smushed together as if one long pragraph. I noticed this several times early this morning, too. So I put double-spacing between each paragraph, and let's see what happens???
Edited by - Grits on 25 August 2002 18:31:14