DJ - I would like to welcome you properly to the board. I did earlier on, and I wanted to say much, but the heat here has all of my family (my girls and I) very cranky. I was a bit beside myself - oh darn! I was at the end of my rope!
Anyhow, your story touched me greatly. You explain yourself eloquently and the fact that you survived the pain that struck your family shows your strength. I'm so very happy for you that your husband lived. As other posters have said, on this board you will find stories filled with pain, agony, abuse, but we keep each other going just by sharing our days and trials.
We have an awesome sense of humor too You've now entered a community where you are understood. I'll never forget the feeling. I didn't find this site until early this year. These people are my family. I'm looking forward to meeting you in chat. I went to email you but it's locked. Feel free to email me if you'd like to talk. I don't give out anyone's email.
I'm new to this particular board too. This is a busy board so don't always read everyone's post, but glad I read your's.
I've been df for 32 years...but how well I remember when my oldest sibling left home at age 17 to marry a Catholic...ya know, just to get away from the mess of jw's. He could never understand the blood issue, especially having had two children.
Thanks for posting your story. That's another cool thing about these type forums...no one is afraid to refer someone else to another site that might be beneficial. Don't know what someone like myself might offer to the newer one's 'out', but I keep coming back and learning more about the hypocritical ways of the WTBTS. I'm very anti-JW, period.
I never expected such a loving response from so many! Thank you all from my heart. It is a time for healing for me and I could sure use all the friends!
In answer to the question about forcing my way into their lives..Hmm...well, it was not easy......I was anxious to say the least but, I had the most powerful weapon, love. My dad was the only one out of my entire family who never completely shunned my husband and me. He would appear now and then on our doorstep to visit and to see his grandchildren. It was not very often, maybe 3x a year, but it was more than anyone else. My family never returned my calls as their machines screen for them at all times. When my father became ill, I was determined to help him in any way possible. I took abuse from family members and my sister told me that my dad's integrity was being tested to see if he would accept blood.......I was not welcomed and was told not to get involved. It was a trial for me of extreme patience and tongue holding. I simply bombarded them with loving words to defeat their nastiness. Works wonders. I have listened to countless pleads and threats to come back to the org. along with everything else you can imagine. The key was just never ending love. Silence in the face of their ranting is helpful sometimes and other times just a gentle word or two would do. I had to always bear in mind that it is not against flesh and blood that we war, but against evil spirits. They are victims, self-righteous as they may be, they are still victims. To gently show the love of Christ through words or deeds proved to tame them eventually. It has been a year and I do whatever needs to be done for my parents because I love them despite their nonsense. My dub siblings are busy filling their time cards, so I am actually needed to help my mom with housework and cooking. I actually have the job of coordinating my father's medical care. My mom is in a denial and my sisters are busy and even if they weren't it wouldn't help because the dubs have robbed them of most of their common sense logic. My brothers, one is a dub just not baptized....he's not very helpful and my oldest brother who is looked down upon for not commiting to the borg has been my main helper. Odd as it seems.....the two children who refuse the WT are the most loving and attentive at this rough time.......so sad. There is no mystery here............just doing for others what I would want done for me....loving them. It has been a rough year....but.....I've got my papa's love back and they can never ever take him from me [email protected]!!!!!!
Thanks again for all of your kind words.....I really needed it...Love, Donna
Thank you for sharing your story and a part of your life with us. I was touched by your love for your husband...and I admire you for that. You have a love for Jesus and a faith that you are satisfied with, and it is nice to hear from someone who is so at peace with their spirituality. I also admire you for your love of your family...I can learn much from someone like you Donna.
Your story was heartwarming! I admire your strong determination to show love for your family no matter what they may throw your way....what strength!!! I could learn from you as I am in a position now deciding what to do with my parents and siblings....Do I completely walk away as I am DF'd and they will not speak to me or do I insist on calling them periodically and even seeing them occasionally (especially since my younger sister is having a baby in October). The "holding my tongue" part is what will be hard for me as I have been so unbelievably hurt.