Thanks for the BS

by safe4kids 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • hillary_step


    I well understand your feelings, very much the reflection of how many of us feel from time to time when the Board resembles hand-to-hand trench warfare as opposed to a group people with a common history, seeking solace and friendship.

    The problem is that when people such as yourself, Seeker, Ginny ( Maximus left not due to Board wars, but due to a serious illness with which he is still struggling ) etc. leave it sadly allows those who wish to exercise their verbal muscles greater reign. Of course it might be that those who have been exceptional posters in the past leave because they have traveled past the stage that they need these Boards and are now launching themselves into a 'real' life, and I salute them for this.

    Another issue that plays a serious part in this whole question of Board behavior is the issue of Internet addiction. Many quickly become 'screen junkies' when they first come here and the Board perhaps plays a greater part in their lives than it should. The Board is no substitute for conventional relationships, it is a world of words and opinions where a person is not judged on their worth as an individual, but by the typographical weight of their last post. This cannot be healthy in the long term and I believe that part of a person's regime should be to switch the computer off for a few days, get some exercise, visit a good friend etc. etc. when they find themselves emotionally disturbed by what they read. This will help balance the tremendously obsessive quality of these sorts of Boards.

    Somebody once said to me when I complained about some of the aggressive posts on JW.Com, "These on-line XJW discussion Boards are basically made up of people who have never truly dealt with their WTS experience and moved on in life". While I do not agree that this is completely accurate, this point of view does hold merit. If I thought that in twenty years time I would still be here, posting my inane messages for the world to see, I would end it now by eating a pot of my wifes petunias.

    When this discussion Board becomes more than a conversational meeting place and a place of information, perhaps it is time to recognize that we are becoming addicted. An addiction to anything will inevitably impinge upon our emotional reactions. The break from Board addiction may be painful but it might lead to much greater growth in our personal lives.

    Thank you for a touching post - HS

  • Southland

    I agree with all of you ... as a prime lurker, I have at times walked away feeling "dirty" from reading some of this garbage by a few troublemakers.

    I think these troublemakers need a good chill pill and then take a reality check. This is a free service provided to you -- a place to meet and greet and share ideas, have intellectual exchange as well as trivial banter.

    You're not paying anything for this. So you shouldn't complain. You don't have any "rights."

    On the other hand, if you were paying for this service, then you could complain about it and try to effect changes.

    This is the bottom line as far as I see it.

  • safe4kids

    Saint LOL, yeah me too I guess.

    Seven SPAM?????!!!!!! ewwwwwwwwww! LOL love ya girl!

    Simon and Skipper Yeah, I agree that it's a post was encompassing my experience here as well as in private IMs and emails, tho. I'm just really fed up with the dishonesty (emotional and otherwise) and hypocrisy I've seen displayed.

    Lew Thanks. I'm not down, tho. I'm pissed off! LOL In past board wars, I was one who said things similar to what you are all saying and I agree that it will pass...until it happens again. I guess it's just been a slow burn that started months ago and has finally flared into a bonfire for me. I've been to several apostofests and have met some great people; they know who they are. What's interesting to me is how you can think you know someone and then, thru their behaviour, discover you never really knew them at all. And yes, this happens in RL relationships; it's just much easier to pull the wool over someone's eyes online.

    ((((Mimilly)))) sorry to hear of what you went thru as a child I know that type of environment, parents fighting, etc, can create emotional shut down and isolation. Thank goodness you have recognized that and haven't allowed it to close you off emotionally! You're one of the kind ones on the board and I respect what you post. No, I won't give other people power over me...this wasn't a goodbye post, if I ever leave, I'll just leave, no grandstanding. This was more a vehicle for me to express things that have been building for a while now. I may be slow to catch on, but eventually when I see it and get angry about it, I'm able to move on.

    (((((((Brenda))))))) you and HadEnough certainly are people I consider trustworthy and true friends. I'm very happy to know you both.

    Six Ok, your post made me LOL, for sure. Yes, some people eventually reveal themselves don't they? If nothing else I've gained, at least I know now not to be so trusting. And IMO you simply CANNOT really know someone over the 'net. It may be a starting place, but it's just too damn easy to fake too damn much, maybe even without consciously being dishonest. So..ok, got it now. Moving on.

    JJ yup, my skin's getting thicker all the time. And I generally don't let all the BS bother me; perhaps I've just felt the weight of the last straw. Or perhaps it's just that this stuff continues to keep happening; the board cycles, and with each one, we get to see some really negative aspects of others' personalities. For instance, you all got to see one of mine today!

    Ya know, I had trust issues before I ever came here...interestingly, most of them have been reinforced as opposed to alleviated. That's fine, I'm a big girl and I can deal with it. But it's been a major disappointment to me and a good lesson learned. So...growing pains...not to worry, they're rarely fatal...right? RIGHT??!

    Edited to add: Maximum smart man! Be very afraid! LOL


    Edited by - safe4kids on 18 August 2002 12:39:52

  • safe4kids

    Hillary ahhh, another voice of reason in a seeming wasteland! Your post is a very apt description of my own experience here...addiction, obsession, and eventually recognizing it and letting go. When I first came here, I was a frantic (dare I say fanatic? LOL) poster; I think it happens to most of us. I appreciate what you say about people leaving and that wasn't the aim of my post. I've lost interest in trying to wade thru the crap tho, I finally understand why some leave. (Sorry to hear about Maximus' illness...please give him my regards). When I find myself getting emotional over words on a screen, I know it's time to go wrestle with the kids or mow the lawn And you are sooooooooo right, the 'net is no replacement for real life. Thanks for your post; as always, a keeper.

    Southland right on dude!!! We don't pay for it, so why whine? And I mean that differently from just expressing opposing opinions and viewpoints. The latter is a good and healthy thing, IMO. The former just seems to lead to more garbage.


  • onacruse

    I've read just the merest fraction of the 440,000 posts to this board, and 99.999% are intelligent, civil and productive.

    I'll take them odds any day!


  • SYN

    It's almost like I've been posting on a different board for the last couple of the Twilight Zone or something...hopefully things will get back to normal again now!

  • ISP
    In the last year or so that I've been online, I thought that I had made some real friends, I thought that it was possible to really get to know people thru this modern miracle of technology. My trust was misplaced, in so many areas, I can't even begin to describe them all.

    Hey Dana!

    I enjoyed meeting up with you and I hope you can stay with us or visit soon. However, if you have had some bad experiences with posters...there is not a lot to be said, other than you learn. There are a lot of weird personas about in Dubland...when these ones leave and come here, you can expect some problems. It was never going to be a rose garden.

    You're opinion is valued.


  • Angharad


    I understand what you mean about it all getting to you after a while. I've often felt like that too. Its good to take a break from time to time. Sorry you have had some bad experiences and been let down.

    I always enjoy your posts and as ISP said your opinion is valued.

    Take care


  • Cassiline

    ((((((((((((( Dana ))))))))))))))

    You know I love ya lady. My e-mail is open as always. Sending you great big hugs and warm thoughts.

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Dana ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))



  • Trauma_Hound

    I'm pretty sure Ginny is now posting as Trauma Hound, lol. I do hope that as you peer through the flames of the latest war, you will admire me from a fire, as I do you. Pun intended, but nothing dirty came to mind till I reread that last bit, lol.

    Six I am me, now why does it come to slander, these really is starting to seem like a JW convention, keep the shunning on.

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