Dana,
I well understand your feelings, very much the reflection of how many of us feel from time to time when the Board resembles hand-to-hand trench warfare as opposed to a group people with a common history, seeking solace and friendship.
The problem is that when people such as yourself, Seeker, Ginny ( Maximus left not due to Board wars, but due to a serious illness with which he is still struggling ) etc. leave it sadly allows those who wish to exercise their verbal muscles greater reign. Of course it might be that those who have been exceptional posters in the past leave because they have traveled past the stage that they need these Boards and are now launching themselves into a 'real' life, and I salute them for this.
Another issue that plays a serious part in this whole question of Board behavior is the issue of Internet addiction. Many quickly become 'screen junkies' when they first come here and the Board perhaps plays a greater part in their lives than it should. The Board is no substitute for conventional relationships, it is a world of words and opinions where a person is not judged on their worth as an individual, but by the typographical weight of their last post. This cannot be healthy in the long term and I believe that part of a person's regime should be to switch the computer off for a few days, get some exercise, visit a good friend etc. etc. when they find themselves emotionally disturbed by what they read. This will help balance the tremendously obsessive quality of these sorts of Boards.
Somebody once said to me when I complained about some of the aggressive posts on JW.Com, "These on-line XJW discussion Boards are basically made up of people who have never truly dealt with their WTS experience and moved on in life". While I do not agree that this is completely accurate, this point of view does hold merit. If I thought that in twenty years time I would still be here, posting my inane messages for the world to see, I would end it now by eating a pot of my wifes petunias.
When this discussion Board becomes more than a conversational meeting place and a place of information, perhaps it is time to recognize that we are becoming addicted. An addiction to anything will inevitably impinge upon our emotional reactions. The break from Board addiction may be painful but it might lead to much greater growth in our personal lives.
Thank you for a touching post - HS