Maybe you should have used that hosepipe...LOL!
another shunning experience
Yes I have to say I was just like that to. We were brain washed into thinking these ex dubs were like Satan himself. I can recall a number of uncomfortable occasions when I almost walked into one. The most awkward situation has to be walking down a narrow isle in a grocery store and bumping into one. Oh boy if they could only get under the counter they would.
I remember being at an assembly in Ft. Worth, Texas, and former members were picketing outside. All the JWs ran into the assembly hall like frightened cockroaches. I was running a bit late. One Ex'er targeted me and he had a briefcase full of anti-JW literature. I remember thinking, "Jehovah, protect me from your enemy" and refusing to answer any of the "apostate's" questions that he peppered me with as I trudged towards the assembly building. "What are you afraid of?" he asked me. Boy, was he right. All I felt was an overwhelming discomfort at somebody who dared to accuse us of not having the truth. Nobody had the guts or confidence or holy spirit or love to speak with these picketers. All we could do was run away. It's a great strategy, but only if you have something to hide.
My suggestion: be friendly!
Don't yell and scream and get in your mother's face -- although it is understandable, it only enforces and validates their persecution complex.
Much better to let them see, and let any other bystanders see, with their own eyes, that (1) you are happy (2) you are not a minion of Satan with horns on your head and cloven hooves.
"Is that you?" -- your instinctive reaction couldn't have been better if you had planned it: warm, friendly, unthreatening, and potentially disarming. Next time your mom pulls up (if she ever does) why not try "HI MOM, WANT TO COME OVER FOR TEA AFTER YOU'VE FINISHED YOUR BUSINESS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD?" Remember, some with her might not even know that you two are related.
I know it's not easy, and I'm playing "Monday Morning Quarterback" here, but you know what they say: "You can catch more flies with Honey than you can catch with Vinegar".
I am friendly now. I run into JWs ALL the time. At the store, in my neighborhood, Spanish speaking JWs looking for Hispanics in my neighborhood, elders inviting me back to the Borganization. Even on my vacation in California two weeks ago I ran into them in LA. I take every advantage I can to talk to them. I'm always as nice as I can be. The last elders that visited me said "We can tell you have a good heart." Verbal assault doesn't open a closed or brain washed mind. Kindness and questions do.
Megs (of the Former Screaming Hatred Class)
I'd say- next time- have the hose and soak them all!!! After all, if "you" aren't "there", then the hose that just soaked them isn't really there either and they are then not really wet - right? ;)
Verbal assault doesn't open a closed or brain washed mind. Kindness and questions do.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
But the truth is, there is nothing that scares a JW and gives them the heebie jeebies and gets their knees a knocking like a friendly former member.
I had to smile at this, cos it reminded me of when I ran into an elder recently.
Now, I'm not DA'd or DF'd, just did the slow fade so I'm basically known as an "inactive". I haven't attended the local cong meetings for the past 2 1/2 years.
I was in a supermarket, just getting a couple of groceries, when I spotted a local elder. I wasn't sure if he had seen me or not, but I thought I'd just say hi (being the friendly person I am )
The guy couldn't even look me in the eye. He was extremely nervous, and I could tell he couldn't get away quick enough. I just asked how he and his family were, nothing too difficult, surely.
Anyway, I was surprised by his reaction. Guess happy ex-JWs are really scary, eh?
I recall when out in service once we came across a DAed brother I didn't know. He was so friendly and shouted hi to all of us. I was cautioned that he was DAed and that I needed to avoid him. After leaving the area in the car I was told that it's a shame this man couldn't even respect the DAing arrangement.
At this time it was the first time I knew that DAed people were to be treated the same as DFed. It was quite the shock for me.
I'm just inactive but, today while at a buddys house a cargroup showed up. A sister who just thought I was the best ever was shocked to see me. She couldn't even bring herself to look at me.
Of course I did my best to be happy and exchange greetings. It was enjoyable for me.